Affordable Boat Act
(ABA)
The government has just passed a new law called: "The affordable boat act"
declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 2014.
These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $24,000-$124,000 each.
This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, insurance, fuel,
docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair
costs.
This law has been passed, because until now, typically only financially
responsible and working people have been able to purchase boats. This new
laws ensures that every American can now have a "affordable" boat of their
own, because everyone is "entitled" to a
boat.
In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of
owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year. This way,
working taxpayers will pay more for something that other people don't want
or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who
can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under
the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn
27; then must purchase their
own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't). If you don't want or don't
need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one,
you will be fined until you purchase one or face imprisonment. For
those that cannot afford one, they will get a free boat with a monthly
check for all ownership costs listed above at taxpayer
expense.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert,
inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion
sickness, experience, knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses
for not using your boat.
A government review board will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes
you can use your boat along with how many people can ride your boat and
determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their
boat. They will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or
if you must purchase specific accessories, or a newer and more expensive
boat. (Cash for Clunkers guidelines will be
used).
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and
their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers.
Unions, special interest and major donors are also
exempt.
If the government can force Americans to buy health care, they can force you
to buy a boat....or ANYTHING else..
Yea...it's
that stupid...