Diary of a dog and cat. A super funny read!

mie

Active Member
"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
- - -
"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing
that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

[hr]
! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...
 

mrdc

Active Member
Originally Posted by Aquaman
http:///forum/post/3244165
Thats why I am a fish person.
The cat:
Day 984. My captors are once again feeding the fish some sort of flakey food. The captors seem to be hypnotized by the fish because they stare continuously at the tank for what seems like hours. I have made many attempts to reach the fish but they are protected by some clear force field that I cannot seem to penetrate. I will need to figure out how to get around their defense and avoid the liquid substance the fish live in since I do not like being wet.
The saga continues …
 

mie

Active Member
End of day 984..............I think..................My masters gave me some sort of green leafy stuff and man do I feel good. What was that? Do You hear that? Oh man whats going on with me.
 

meowzer

Moderator
Originally Posted by mie
http:///forum/post/3244400
End of day 984..............I think..................My masters gave me some sort of green leafy stuff and man do I feel good. What was that? Do You hear that? Oh man whats going on with me.
 
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