Dog Verse Cat Diary

jerryatrick

Active Member
DOG DIARY
7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the
carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
Bast*rds!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the
event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I
must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was
walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches.
The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is
regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously ret*rded.
 

scotts

Active Member
Jerry, that is hilarious, however you are the third person to post it so do not feel bad if it does not get the reception you are hoping for.
BTW I was the first person to post it here....

 

jerryatrick

Active Member
Originally Posted by Scotts
http:///forum/post/2696658
Jerry, that is hilarious, however you are the third person to post it so do not feel bad if it does not get the reception you are hoping for.
BTW I was the first person to post it here....


Get out of here... I got that via email and thought my friend made that up. LMAO
 

alix2.0

Active Member
this clearly shows that dogs are retarded and cats really are the better pet.
cats rule dogs drool.
 

darthtang aw

Active Member
To the cat lovers..........
When is the last time your house cat discouraged a burglar, my great danes do it daily. Animal control and Police officers won't even go near my yard without me there to command my dogs.
 

triga22

Active Member
Cats are really not a good pet at all. They poop in the house, they have razor sharp nails and teeth, and they never seem friendly. So Im going to stick with my dog from africa. She is about as fast as great danes and in her native country was used to chase lions and zebras into nets.
 

jaymz

Member
Originally Posted by TriGa22
http:///forum/post/2697462
Cats are really not a good pet at all. They poop in the house, they have razor sharp nails and teeth, and they never seem friendly. So Im going to stick with my dog from africa. She is about as fast as great danes and in her native country was used to chase lions and zebras into nets.
Rhodesian Ridgeback?
 
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