Well, I know it wasn't the light or the anemone.
I recently lost a 240g reef that was up for over 4 years, so I feel your pain.
(BTW--the BTA's all SURVIVED)
Still unexplained and I was only gone for 48 hours....no others living in house, have a GFI, grounding probe, etc etc etc.
How about 'old tank syndrome'....do you do regular water changes?
I know you're not a newbie, but sometimes people 'slack off'
I do think you can 're-cure' the live rock and be fine with it.
By the way, if you want other ideas/opinions/help, I think you should tone down the backlash. People are just trying to help. Remember, you posted the thread asking for ideas/help.
Just my 0.02