sorry danfishman, first i didn't realize you were already into it, sounded like you were just thinking of starting. I am also sorry you are so frustrated with it, a nice tank is possible for everyone believe it or not. I agree though, it's very nice when you finally get to the point where your not holding your breath every time you add a fish. Since I don't have alot of time, and also don't like constant monitoring, or having to mess with pretty much anything othere than periodic water changes and feeding the guys, here's what I do to really cut down--
understock--the more thats in the tank the more water quality is an issue. I also only pick the hardier fish--there are lots besides damsels.
Good Luck