for those who have daughters

earlybird

earlybird

Active Member
Application for Permission to Date My Daughter
APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement,
job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________
HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________
HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______
Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain: _____________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
Number of years they have been married ______________________________
If less than your age, explain
_____ ______ _______________________ __________________________________
____________________________________________________________________
ACCESSORIES SECTION:
A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No
B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No
C. A waterbed? __Yes __No
D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No
E. A tattoo? &nbs p; &nb sp; &n bsp; __Yes __No
F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?
(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)
ESSAY SECTION:
In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
____________________________ ______ ___________ _________________
In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
REFERENCES SECTION:
Church you attend ___________________________________________________
How often you attend ________________________________________________
When would be the best time to interview your:
father? _____________
mother? _____________
pastor? _____________
SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:
Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.
A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:
______________________ ______ _________ _________________________
B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:
______________________________________________________________
C: A woman's place is in the:
______________________________________________________________
D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:
______________________________________________________________
E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________
______________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________
F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:
______________________________________________________________
F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? ______ ________ ____
I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.
_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)
_______________________________ ________________________________
Mother's Signature Father's Signature
_______________________________ ________________________________
Pastor/Priest/Rabbi &n bsp; & ; nbsp; State Representative/Congressman
Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual.
Please allow four to six years for processing
 
T

tizzo

Guest
HAHAHAHAHA
I'm printing and saving for future reference! That's perfect.
 
krista921

krista921

Member
youll never be able to protect your daughters from the guys youre scared are just like you. she'll get her heart broken over and over its life
 
teresaq

teresaq

Active Member
I have two daughters, and a husband that drives a take home patrol car. hehe Any boy coming to my house should be very scared, as husband opens door in full uniform.
 
spiderwoman

spiderwoman

Active Member
I have 2 yr old twins and have already printed that out. Any boy wanting to date them is going to go through hell to get past my husband :)
 
scotts

scotts

Active Member
My daughter just turned 13

One of my favortie songs right now is by Rodney Atkins, here is the chorus for you
Come on in boy, sit on down
And tell me 'bout yourself
So you like my daughter, do you now
Yeah we think she's something else
She's her daddy's girl and her mama's world
She deserves respect, that's what she'll get, ain't it son
Now y'all run along and have some fun
I'll see you when you get back
Bet I'll be up all night
Still cleaning this gun
 
jmick

jmick

Active Member
I'm really thankful my daughter is only 1, have a long time till I have to worry about that.
I am happy that she does have an older brother who I expect will keep an eye on his little sister. Also, I will not let her date a boy who is not in sports or some kind of an activity, no boys more then 2 grades higher, no boys who won't come in the house to meet me. I hope that we won't have to worry that much, I am sure we will do our jobs as parents and she'll be able to make good choices.
 
ifirefight

ifirefight

Active Member
Daddy's Rules for Dating

[hr]
Your dad's rules for your boyfriend (or for you if you're a guy):
Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do no, in fact come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, --- without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to ---, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early."
Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.
 
socal57che

socal57che

Active Member

Originally Posted by Jmick
http:///forum/post/2482516
I'm really thankful my daughter is only 1, have a long time till I have to worry about that.
I am happy that she does have an older brother who I expect will keep an eye on his little sister. Also, I will not let her date a boy who is not in sports or some kind of an activity, no boys more then 2 grades higher, no boys who won't come in the house to meet me. I hope that we won't have to worry that much, I am sure we will do our jobs as parents and she'll be able to make good choices.
If not maybe her teacher can give her some condoms.

ps...that's a joke.
 
socal57che

socal57che

Active Member

Originally Posted by Krista921
http:///forum/post/2482584
technicly they still are but i think after 12 years youre legally seperated?
Marriage is not easy. Parents forget to tell their kids this important detail. It takes effort and, yes, work to make it function properly. I would like to see people spend as much money and hard work on their marriages as they do in divorce court. Giving up is way too easy. They made an oath before God and the world to stick it out, yet so many give up after a few months. I work hard to let my wife know how much I love her. Same goes for my kids.
 
krista921

krista921

Member
well you sound like a good man
but not everyones perfect
and not everyones lives go perfectly
and there are deffinatly seperations that are warrented.
a husband and father who spends all the rent money on bars and drugs is one you should leave.
and the last 14 years he hasnt attempted to contact me or my brother, birthdays, christmas', you name it
better off without the prick anywho
good ridince i say hahah
 
socal57che

socal57che

Active Member

Originally Posted by Krista921
http:///forum/post/2482611
well you sound like a good man
but not everyones perfect
and not everyones lives go perfectly
and there are deffinatly seperations that are warrented.
a husband and father who spends all the rent money on bars and drugs is one you should leave.
and the last 14 years he hasnt attempted to contact me or my brother, birthdays, christmas', you name it
better off without the prick anywho
good ridince i say hahah
I'm far from perfect, and after one failed marriage, I learned to grow up and be a man by investing in my marriage. I just wish there were some way to make it disappear for my oldest two kids.
My wife was better off without her dad, too. Sometimes it works that way when a parent is too selfish to make the family work.
 
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