Got any redneck jokes?

crimzy

Active Member
How do you know when you're staying
in a Redneck motel?
When you call the front desk and say,
I gotta leak in my sink, and the
clerk replies, 'Go ahead'.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum
drinking age for Rednecks to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol
out of the high schools.
Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a Redneck murder:
1) The DNA is all the same
2) There are no dental records
Who invented the toothbrush ?
A Redneck.
(If it had been invented by anyone else,
it would have been called a teethbrush.)
A State Trooper pulls over a pickup on Highway 16
and says to the driver, 'Got any I.D. ?'.
and the driver replies 'Bout wut?'
Did you hear about the $3 million Redneck Lottery ?
The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
A new Redneck law was just recently passed .
When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
Did you hear that the Redneck governor's mansion burned down ?
'Yep. Prit'near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books went poof . . . up in flames and the governor hadn't even finished coloring one of them.'
 

alyssia

Active Member
If your dad walks you to school every day because he's in the same grade you are, you just might me a redneck.
You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't have any branches.
If you think coming from a broken home means your trailer fell off it's blocks,
you just might be a redneck.
 

bionicarm

Active Member
Redneck pictures in order of appearance:
redneck houseboat
redneck pet carrier
redneck grill
redneck guest house
redneck cat




 

nigerbang

Active Member
Heres some
Spirit Airlines is offering a one-way ticket from N.Y. to Detroit for a nickel...they are also offering a ticket back for a dime and a bodybag included
Q: What's the difference between a University of Michigan fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: How many University of Michigan fans does it take to

[hr]
in a light bulb?
A: One, but he gets 3 credits.
Q: Where was O.J. hiding right before the famous white Bronco chase?
A: On the University of Michigan campus. That's the last place you would find a football player.
Q: Why do they throw out a sack of manure at University of Michigan weddings?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Jack was sitting when a guy took the seat beside him. The guy was an
Emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking, moaning in fear. "What's the matter?"
Jack asked.
"I've been transferred to Detroit , there's crazy people there. They have a
Lot of shootings, gangs, race riots, drugs, poor public schools, and the
Highest crime rate."
Jack replied, "I've lived in Detroit all my life. It's not as bad as the
Media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business and enroll
Your kids in a nice p rivate school. It's as safe a place as anywhere in the
World."
The guy finally relaxed and said, "Thank you. I've been worried to death,
But if you live there and say it's OK, I'll take your word for it. By the
Way, what do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said Jack. "I'm a tail gunner on a Budweiser truck."
 

sigmachris

Active Member
College / redneck joke....
Why do the University of Texas football team wear orange?
So they can play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash with the chain gang on Mondays.
 

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by SigmaChris
http:///forum/post/2846461
College / redneck joke....
Why do the University of Texas football team wear orange?
So they can play football on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash with the chain gang on Mondays.
FTFY! you wish you went to UT!
 

rebelprettyboy

Active Member
Originally Posted by Rotarymagic
http:///forum/post/2847330
Like I said before to him, you wish..lol.
lol Austin is just boring to me. I visited thre a few times a couple yrs ago when I was lookin for a college. I mean it aint boring, but TECH is better haha. Better parties. finer girls.
Although Austin is good cuz its right by San Antino, Dallas, San Marcus, And houston. All close driving ranges!
And aint nothing like some good partying at the bars there...
 

rotarymagic

Active Member

Originally Posted by rebelprettyboy
http:///forum/post/2847331
lol Austin is just boring to me. I visited thre a few times a couple yrs ago when I was lookin for a college. I mean it aint boring, but TECH is better haha. Better parties. finer girls.
Although Austin is good cuz its right by San Antino, Dallas, San Marcus, And houston. All close driving ranges!
And aint nothing like some good partying at the bars there.
..
I'll agree there... but TECH is a bunch of hicks... definitely rednecks up there.. now if ya want some "fine" toothless girl definitely go there lol. I told that to my friend that goes to tech and he got a good laugh. There is NOTHING in lubbock.
 

rebelprettyboy

Active Member
Originally Posted by Rotarymagic
http:///forum/post/2847332
I'll agree there... but TECH is a bunch of hicks... definitely rednecks up there.. now if ya want some "fine" toothless girl definitely go there lol. I told that to my friend that goes to tech and he got a good laugh. There is NOTHING in lubbock.
lol ur right it is Nothing. Just like mi hometown Midland.
But parties everynight man. Gotta be the number 1 party school in texas right now.
But of course u cant mess with any of the girls lol...
dont wanna get "RADIER RASH"
Is lubbock still up there with the highest AIDS/STD rate or whatever it was in the nation?
 

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by rebelprettyboy
http:///forum/post/2847334
lol ur right it is Nothing. Just like mi hometown Midland.
But parties everynight man. Gotta be the number 1 party school in texas right now.
But of course u cant mess with any of the girls lol...
dont wanna get "RADIER RASH"
Is lubbock still up there with the highest AIDS/STD rate or whatever it was in the nation?
ROFL at Raider rash... AHAHAHAHAHA.... dude hahahahahaha... that definitely made my morning. Haven't heard that one in awhile.
 

stdreb27

Active Member
Originally Posted by Rotarymagic
http:///forum/post/2847332
I'll agree there... but TECH is a bunch of hicks... definitely rednecks up there.. now if ya want some "fine" toothless girl definitely go there lol. I told that to my friend that goes to tech and he got a good laugh. There is NOTHING in lubbock.
There is nothing like a texas country girl.
 

stdreb27

Active Member
Q: How do you make University of Michigan cookies?
A: Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Q: What do you get when you cross a University of Michigan fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many University of Michigan freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Q: What does the average University of Michigan student get on his SAT?
A: Drool.
Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Michigan campus?
A: A visitor.
 
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