Joke

[blueberryboomer]

Late at night, a drunk was on his knees beneath a street-light, evidently I looking for something. A passer-by, being a good samaritan, offered to help. "What is it you have lost?" he asked. "My watch," replied the drunk. "It fell off when I tripped over the pavement." The passer-by joined in the search but after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of the watch."Where exactly did you trip?" asked the passer-by. "About half a block up the street," replied the drunk. "Then why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it half a block up the - street?" The drunk said: "Because the light's a lot better here."

 

[blueberryboomer]

Little Johnny
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

 

[blueberryboomer]

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question. "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None.", replied Johnny "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third sucking the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

 

[nm reef]

LMAO...
I have one...
A man was on the road out of state when his car broke down. He had a dead cell phone so he decided to hitchhike to the nearest town for help. Soon a man stopped and asked..."are you Republican or Democrate?"...the man said "Democrate" ...at that the motorist flipped him off and cursed Democrates in general and drove away!!! Strange...the stranded and in need man thought!
A bit later a elderly lady stopped and asked the same question..."Republican or Democrate?"
again the man was honest and said "Democrate"...the woman got huffy and said...sorry but around here we don't much care for your type and left him on the shoulder of the road!!!
Soon a drop dead beautiful young lady in a sports car stopped...she asked the same question ... but this time the man lied and said...well I'm a Republican!! At that the young woman opened her door and said...jump in!!!
After a few momemts the man said...miss I must make a confession...I appreciate the ride and all...but I must tell you...I've only been a Republican for a few minutes and already I wanna screw somebody!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[lovethesea]

I have to send those on..........:yes:

 

[blackomne]

If you need a good laugh try the following.
1. Go to Google
2. Type in "Weapons of Mass Destruction" (do not hit "Return")
3. Click on "I Feel Lucky" NOT "Google Search"
Read the Error Message carefully.

 

[gregvabch]

i've got one..... a man wins the lottery and races home to his wife. he storms through the door and yells to her, "honey, i've won the lottery! pack your bags!" to which she replies, "should i pack for the beach or for the mountains??" to which he replies, " i don't give a damn, just get the hell out!"

 

[blueberryboomer]

LMAO, too funny!
Here is the search results from blackomne's post...
These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed
The weapons you are looking for are currently unavailable. The country might be experiencing technical difficulties, or you may need to adjust your weapons inspectors mandate.

[hr]
Please try the following:
Click the Regime change button, or try again later.
If you are George Bush and typed the country's name in the address bar, make sure that it is spelled correctly. (IRAQ).
To check your weapons inspector settings, click the UN menu, and then click Weapons Inspector Options. On the Security Council tab, click Consensus. The settings should match those provided by your government or NATO.
If the Security Council has enabled it, The United States of America can examine your country and automatically discover Weapons of Mass Destruction.
If you would like to use the CIA to try and discover them,
click Detect weapons
Some countries require 128 thousand troops to liberate them. Click the Panic menu and then click About US foreign policy to determine what regime they will install.
If you are an Old European Country trying to protect your interests, make sure your options are left wide open as long as possible. Click the Tools menu, and then click on League of Nations. On the Advanced tab, scroll to the Head in the Sand section and check settings for your exports to Iraq.
Click the Bomb button if you are Donald Rumsfeld.
Cannot find weapons or CIA Error
Iraqi Explorer
Bush went to Iraq to look for Weapons of Mass Destruction and all he found was this lousy T-shirt.