Men v. Women

crimzy

Active Member
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 10 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Aaaah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
REMEMBER
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 

jdl

Member
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
this is the most true statement
 

hlcroghan

Active Member
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2768695
NICKNAMES
* If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
* If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
* When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
* When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
* A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
* A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
* A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
* The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 10 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
* A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
* A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
* A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
* A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
* A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
* A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
* A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
* A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
* Aaaah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
* A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
REMEMBER
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
This is awesome and so true, except getting dressed up part. I would rather do stuff around the house in my b-day suit!! LOL
 

silverdak

Active Member
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2768695
NATURAL
* Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
* Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA I almost cried I laughed to hard! Its not even that funny but something in my head clicked as that being such a true statement!
 

mimzy

Active Member
Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2768727
Whew... that was a bit unprovoked and slightly rude. Having a bad day Mim?

ooh, i didn't mean to be rude! heaven forbid i should be rude after such a really, lovely, wonderful post that speaks so highly of women and doesn't insinuate anything nasty at all! my sincerest apologies, really. I was just trying to say that i'm glad i dont live in a world where everyone is put into a box and defined so meticulously.
 

hlcroghan

Active Member
Originally Posted by Mimzy
http:///forum/post/2768788
ooh, i didn't mean to be rude! heaven forbid i should be rude after such a really, lovely, wonderful post that speaks so highly of women and doesn't insinuate anything nasty at all! my sincerest apologies, really. I was just trying to say that i'm glad i dont live in a world where everyone is put into a box and defined so meticulously.
well I think this is totally meant to be humorous though. I don't deteriorate at night lol but I am sure a lot of women think they do. This is honestly a play on what women think about themselves more than what men do.
 

yearofthenick

Active Member
Originally Posted by Mimzy
http:///forum/post/2768788
ooh, i didn't mean to be rude! heaven forbid i should be rude after such a really, lovely, wonderful post that speaks so highly of women and doesn't insinuate anything nasty at all! my sincerest apologies, really. I was just trying to say that i'm glad i dont live in a world where everyone is put into a box and defined so meticulously.
Apology accepted.
 
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