off topic-HELP ANYONE EVER BEEN THROUGH THIS?

[sweetjesus]

This may get kinda long: I am a single custodial father. My duaghter Samantha is 3.5 years old. Mother is a work of art (yeah I know, I made a baby with her). She has numerous convictions for drugs, including a felony, been in jail numerous times for breaking probation etc etc.
She saw our daughter for a total of 8 hours the second year she was alive and 10 hours the third year she was alive.
She just got out of jail in December and has hauled me into court for visitation. These wacked out court systems gave her every Wednesday and every other weekend. This is her second overnight ever. Last night I get home from work and the police knock on my door at 9:30pm.
She has accused me of sexually molesting my daughter. Now my daughter cannot come home. The police read me my rights and i exercised them, but they have not charged me. I know yesterday she went to the hospital for exam and i would think if they found anything I would be in jail right now.
Anyhow,her visitation ended tonight at 6pm. I exercised my custodial parent rights and had her placed in shelter care. I will be damned if I will leave her in her mother's home while she continues to test positive for drug use.
Anyhow, I just really needed to vent. I know this is all about money. The "mom" is over $10,000 arears for back child support and I just had the court serve her with papers for contempt for not paying it. So now she is trying to get back at me. I just cannot believe they would traumatize this little girl further after medical tests proved there was nothing there. Can you imagine what a 3.5 yr old girl went through for a sexual abuse exam, then take her and put her in shelter care instead of even letting her go to her grandparents. All this happens on a weekend and it is so convenient that none of the county services are available to do the neccessary interviews and made the right decisions. My Grandmother, and my parents are going monday to

[hr]
their homes for attorney fees. Need $3000 down and $175 per hour. I am flat broke and up to my eye balls in debt from keeping my custody rights from this nutcase who has a court appointed attorney for free. I have paid well over $50,000 for my child. However, you can never pay enough to keep them safe. Thus, the family has begun to take over the financial burden. This is just flabbergasting. Want proof of the story I just told you? I have police reports etc etc online at <a href="http://www.geocities.com/father4custody" target="_blank">http://www.geocities.com/father4custody</a>
If anyone knows a decently priced attorney in the Rochester Minnesota area PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I beg you with every ounce of my being, heart and soul, email me and tell me, I cannot give up on my daughter!

 

[mr . salty]

That is really unbelievable.But with her background,it's no real surprise is it???I just cant immagine any judge in this country taking this case seriously...

 

[mr.bubble]

IM SOOOOOOOOOOO SORRY! . that must be a nightmare! i cant help with the attuorny (Sp?). But i wish you the very best and i hope this all get settled out and you can spend more ime with your child. I just thought i would post you back and wish this gets settled out. I will be sending light your way!

 

[joe's reefer]

i am extremly touch by your situation and may god guide you through this trial in your life.i'll pray that things get better for u.im sorry i dont now any good lawyer and im in california.i sucks thata 3 year old had to go through a sexual abuse exam and hopefully it didnt traumatize her alng with living witha drug abusive mother.it was probably her abusing the child but she cant remember because she was too freaking high to realize it.And for the court to side with a felon and druggy over you who has tought this child and taken care of her from basically birth is unbelievable.once again god bless and i hope you make all the right choices and find the money to get you out of this problem.

 

[byrself]

yeah man, that's a hell of a spot to be in. i'm familiar with your situation in a way. i wish you the best of luck. maybe you could talk to a social worker and get some help there. i wish i could help you more. maybe you could prove to a court she's unsafe with her mother, and get custody based on that. at least maybe your parents could get her. i'm not sure of laws in your state, but here in la. it's pretty hard to get a child away from the mother, but it can be done. (oh yeah, and don't forget to pray too) <img src="graemlins//angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" />

 

[sweetjesus]

I have no slept, have not ate, i have talked to both the crisis social workers, and my own private social worker, a daycare I know can me an emergency crisis care, so they are busy trying to get her to come there. The problem is no one will tell me one damn thing. All I get is you have to talk to social services when they open in the morning! I do have custody guys, Have had it over 29 months! So I have proven the mother unfit. however now that she is in treatment and "changed her life" even though she continues to test positive, they feel she can be a benefit in her life! When this is all done, I think I will move to another country! I am fed up with our legal system!

 

[joe's reefer]

yup our country legal system does suck

 

[heavenly damsel]

You and your daughter are in my prayers. Keep your faith and give your troubles to the Lord. Can your church family help you in any way?

 

[katara]

Be strong(easier said than done) but 99% of the time the truth and the rightous(sp?) do prevail..been through something similar w/my godson and even though the dad had an $8,000 attorney and my godson's mom and I had to handwrite and submit all kinds of legal paperwork that we had no previous knowledge of, the truth was on our side and we won..you'll be ok

 

[q]

I hope that when you go to court that you get a judge who is cranky and can see through this load of crap then nail her with everything possiable.
Situations like this really tick me off.
Take care.
Fight hard.

 

[musipilot]

Being born in Brooklyn...my initial response was to have her whacked...yeah, yeah, I know.
I have a son with joint custody, and everything is going well. However, I still to this day (4 years later) walk on eggshells around my son's mother because unfortunately, as a male, your rights are terribly dimished. All she has to do is cry foul, and life as I know it changes. The reverse is just not true. Best of luck, and if you want ideas/chat/support, feel free to write to me at dave@jfktower.com

 

[ren]

I have a long time friend on the net with simular dealings with his ex. Somewhere only god knows she actually won. So be ready to fight like never before.
1. Seems that she is trying to tie you up with false claims - 'false claims' I'd file suit to counter those. Tie her up with procedings that once proven they were false - are more fuel for you in the custody battle. Just the win is worth far more than any money here.
2. You most likely need to re-open visitation and go for blood - bring everything - the false claims, the drug abuse, current positive testing, everything you can (and more to!!!) and apply for 'reasonable supervised visitation'. Ask your lawyer to ensure that the case cannot be re-opened after that.
I have alot more to talk with ya about but this isn't the place - email me renegade@bak.rr.com
Good luck and god speed.

 

[nacl-h2o]

I feel your pain I want through some of the same problems your having. My battle ended finally with me having custody of my son and she seems to have accepted she will not win and has backed off for some time now. I hope your situation works out as well. LOL

 

[david s]

Darn i been there problem is u and almost everyone know u didnt do anything but once your x opens her mouth cops and dss have to investigate kinda stinks then they start teating u like crap been there hang in there they will find no proof and your layer will make things right after that then maybe a slander suit )

 

[blueberryboomer]

You and your little girl are in my prayers, good luck to the both of you. Don't give up on the system just yet, the truth will come out in the end. Lisa

 

[chainsaw5vent]

yo! sweetjesus don't freak <img src="graemlins//eek.gif" border="0" alt="[eek]" /> <img src="graemlins//freak.gif" border="0" alt="[freak]" /> remember, men ought to always pray and out light (or sometimes VERY heavy) burdens are just a twinkle in the eyes of Jesus, who bears all of our burdens, fears, sorrows. remember that GOD never sleeps and always keep track of how many hairs are on your head (and your little girl's too <img src="graemlins//angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" /> ) i can id w/ you because 3 of my first four kids (up to 5.5 now) just came back from visitation w/ the donor who left them 5 days after the 7.5 yo was born...not to be seen in person for 2+ years. very interesting that the other day when the 3rd child sent an email (unintentional) using "bryan xxxx" (my last name) how the donor took GREAT OFFENSE and screamed "THEY WILL NEVER BE XXXX!!" well, now it shows up in his face. he did not want them to remain ######, and now he wants to be remembered??! oh, well. they don't go to him for comfort. remain calm, think clearly, make good decisions. Phil. 4:6-8. <img src="graemlins//angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" /> <img src="graemlins//angel.gif" border="0" alt="[angel]" />

 

[reefnjeff]

This is not the answer you are looking for, but I was just curious, have you tried Legal aide Services, I used this legal Aide program for my custody dispute and my attorney was very efficent, It is a program for low income people, if you have not considered this option you should at least call them, they are there to help and if they can't help you they might be able to point you in the right direction, it is a state run program and I am sure there is a office near you, good luck!!!

 

[joshh]

i believe would half to redreum her a**, but i can relate my babys moma is a cocaine head and thinks im going to let he seethem yeah right but she can never get custody b/c i talked her stupid ass into putting them into my mouther and fauthers name

 

[zack schwartz]

I fell so sorry for you. I have heard of this happing but you have to prove that your wife is still on drugs. That will chang anyones mind!!!

 

[slideways84]

I'm sorry for your troubles, I've read your website and here are my thoughts.You have absolutely no one to blame but yourself. On your website you are asking for donations and sponsors etc, it also appears that by posting this information on the SWF forums you may have had hopes of cash coming in from it as well. Reading through this nightmare it seems as though you have been through numerous jobs as well. Why should ANYONE be expected to help you. You were and may still be recieving state assistance from WIC. Those are tax dollars, the court system/police department/ that you keep tying up with this Jerry Springer mess and this Jane idiot are all getting paid from tax dollars. There is no telling how much tax payor money has been wasted and will be continued to be wasted in the years to come because you chose to take up with a drug abusing tramp, who also appears to have been underage when you were having sexual relations. So for your contiued mistakes we are expected to help ? Your login name also bothers me quite a bit as it is totally inappropriate to bring in the name of Jesus to this mess. If you are a christian then your church should be the first to turn to....there was no mention of it that I found. Bottom line, GROW UP..Get a job and stay with it, Work part time, Have a yard sale. If you were doing the responsible thing you should have had a savings account set aside for situations such as this.