Recovering from substance abuse

[sbsb]

I was consuming about 20 shots of whiskey and mixing it with downers and sleeping

[hr]
everyday. Graduated up to that from about 15 beers and 6 shots of whiskey a day. I was spiraling downward for years and finally bottomed out 5/17/04 after ending up in the emergency room twice and being admitted to the hospital at 3am on the 18th. It took 60 MG of

[hr]
, 2 injections of Ativan and Haldol over 24-hour period to keep me even close to not having seizures from withdrawal.
What a nightmare!!!!!!!!!!
Life is getting better every day now.
Any other recovering addicts here?

 

[birdy]

Just wanted to say, good luck I will be praying for you and your recovery. My 19yr old brother is headed down that road and I pray he doesn't have to hit the bottom to change his ways.

 

[lovethesea]

no, but I wish you luck in your recovery. My Aunt just got out of a 3 month rehab for drinking. 105# woman drinking almost a gallon of vodka a day. She finally hit bottom when she passed out in the liquor store. Talk about a functioning alcolholic, she went to work 3 days a week 12 hour shifts. I guess your body build up resistance. She is working hard everyday in her recovery and knows that every day is a gift and she is addicted to something and can never have it again. She also learned what the root of her abuse was and is taking medication to help.
So, thank goodness your alive and your body is recovering.

 

[nemo lover]

no, but I also lived with one my hole life (mom functional alcoholic 100lbs hole bottle of wine and 12PK in a day works six days a week). Glad you are takin a step forward realizing your problem and are on the road to recovery!!!!It takes alot to admit you have a problem, and just as much to stay clean. wish you all the luck and happiness on your journey.
Now I wish I could do something for my family member. She wont even admit she has a problem and gets very mean if it is brought up.

 

[cptn howdy]

i'm an alchi but not really in the recovery mode yet. more like the "damn i need t' kick back and hit the friggin gym more" mode.
course i used to be in countless of 12 step meetings when i was younger and i ran into hardcores like you all the time. i dunno how you guys managed to pump that much crap in yer system but i sure as hell am glad that you've survived it and managed to see to mayhem from a clear perspective.
if i may offer a suggestion, i would suggest not fixating on it (like those lame 12 steppers do), find what you love in life, and pursue it till the end. good luck me compadre'!

 

[sbsb]

Thanks for the encouragement everybody. I ended up in the emergency room because while I was passed out the morning of the 17th after starting to drink and do

[hr]
at 3am, my wife said I would stop breathing and start up again. The doctors said I could have gone into respiratory arrest and either gone into a coma or died. That was rock bottom. I had been getting away with it for so long I figured I could keep doing it for the rest of my life (however short that may have been). I knew I was in denial and was killing myself and didn't care. The only thing that kept me from committing suicide was what it would have done to my wife. I figured that if I died of liver failure it wouldn't be as bad for her, and wouldn't be viewed as suicide. Pretty flucked up thinking on my part. She was beside herself when all of this happened that day. She had no Idea how much I was drinking because I was able to disguise it pretty well. People have told me that they couldn't even tell I was drinking except for the liquor smell. My tolerance was so high they had to give me massive doses of

[hr]
to keep me from crawling up the walls.
Anyway, today is 19 days without a drink! I'm on several meds and start therapy on tuesday. I have been repressing so much stuff it will most likely take a long time to figure out what the hell was going on in my head.
To quote Aerosmith "I got so sick and tired of living a lie, I wished that I would die,
It's amazing, when you finally see the light, and know that you will be alright"
"And I'm saying a prayer, for the desperate souls tonight"

 

[nicky1.8t]

good luck on your road to recovery.

 

[tizzo]

Congradulation SBSB, I've never been hooked on anything (except cigarettes) and I won't pretend to know what you are experiencing, but I do realize that this is probably one of the most bitter/sweet moments in your life. Sounds like you have a good wife. During this time you two will have serious miscommunications, so try to be patient with each other. Anyway I wish you all the luck in the world, with everything.

 

[belothsurf]

I'm not in recovery, but feel like it sometimes. I work on a 14 bed detox unit. Don't feel alone, I see situations like yours everyday. And although your daily intake was certainly a lot, I've seen worse. But consider yourself lucky also, alcohol and downers can be deadly, and can be very difficult to come off of. We usually keep someone with similiar habits as yours for a week or 2. And also, this is uncommon, but it can take several weeks before withdrawals can set in. Usually it's about 3 days after the last drink or drug. So just be mindful of how you are physically feeling for awhile. But definetly a big congrats on your 19th day! I'm also glad to hear you are going for therapy. I always encourage that. You may not ever figure everything out, but just understanding some things can be half the battle, and that usually requires some help. Shoot, we all could benefit from some therapy every now and then . So keep up the good work, be patient with yourself and others, and be honest with your self and others ( both easier said than done ). And just take it one day at a time.:jumping:
BTW, when I'm asked by one of my patients if I'm in recovery, I usually say "Yeah, I'm recovering from Saturday night".....just a little corny detox humor........

 

[sbsb]

I was only in the hospital about 25-27 hours. They were not medicating me enough and my anxiety disorder and withdrawal combined with the hospital setting was HORRIBLE. I detoxed myself with a prescription from my GP doctor of

[hr]
and Remeron, over the next five days after leaving the hospital, against doctor’s recommendation. They told me my insurance would not cover my hospital bill if I left and my response was:
"I'd pay 10 grand to get the hell out of this place, so get this sheit IV out of my arm, cut the tags off my wrists and I'm out of here" I blew out of there at 2am in a taxi cab in a pouring rainstorm. They were making mistakes in the care they were giving me, and had they pushed the insurance thing, they would be staring down the barrel of a law suite right now. I guess that's why for some miraculous reason the insurance IS paying. $4,400 for 26 hours in a hellhole. JEEEEEEEEZZZZZ.
I looked at an itemized accounting of the charges and it was outrageous.
BTW, this is a very well regarded hospital with a good reputation. I would hate to see what a sheity one would be like.
:scared:

 

[sbsb]

Today is 20 days and counting.................:cheer: :happy:

I feel better than I ever have in the last 30 years.
:jumping: :cheer:
I guess it just wasn't my time to die yet! life can be a wonderful thing or a living nightmare. I find more and more that I appriciate about being alive everyday now.
Life is worth living again..............

 

[lovethesea]

you said exactly what my Aunt said. She was absolutely amazed she was still alive after what she had been through. And now with some counseling and meds she sees what the problems were and is dealing with them as they come.
One day at a time.
Glad your back among the living.

 

[fishman9]

Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!!!!!

 

[sbsb]

Originally posted by fishman9
Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!!!!!
Thanks fishman9 and all the rest, for the kind encouraging words. I was out driving my Corvette today. Life is good again