hedonic
Member
I don't know who fowarded this to me, but I found it funny...
Dear Valued Hybrid Customer...
The Wall Street Journal
We at the Toyota Motor Corporation are writing to address certain
misconceptions that have arisen about your Toyota Prius model, which we are
proud to note is driven by many celebrities, including Prince Charles and
HBO's Larry David.
However, any romance entering its seventh year tends to go stale. Some
purchasers have begun to question the practical value of our Hybrid Synergy
Drive technology. You may be aware that a survey by Consumer Reports found
that our vehicles achieve considerably less mileage (some 26 percent less)
than the sticker rating implies. This has led to some unflattering media
stories.
Let us assure you that the Prius remains one of the most fuel-efficient
cars on the road. Toyota applauds your willingness to spend $9,500 over the
price of any comparable vehicle for the privilege of saving, at current
gasoline prices, approximately $580 a year.
And should the price of gasoline rise to $5, after 10 years and/or 130,000
miles of driving, you might even come close to breaking even on your
investment in hybrid technology.
We recognize that our customers have an "emotional" relationship with their
vehicles. This transcends even the regrettable truth that driving a
fuel-efficient car does not yield any substantial benefits for society if
it doesn't save the owner money.
Contrary to any loose statements made by our marketing partners in the
environmental community and media, petroleum not consumed by Prius owners
is not "saved." It does not remain in the ground. It is consumed by someone
else. Greenhouse pollutants are released. Also, please note that the
warranty and owner's manual say nothing about reducing America's dependence
on foreign oil. This is not an oversight. The Prius is an "oil-dependent"
vehicle. It runs on gasoline, supplied by the same world market that fuels
other vehicles.
The Toyota Corporation regrets any misunderstanding our marketing may
inadvertently have caused (or may cause in the future).
We share your belief that the days of the internal combustion engine are
numbered. Further research by our economists suggests this will happen when
the price of gasoline rises high enough to make alternative technologies
cheaper than gasoline-powered cars.
We at Toyota want you to know we recognize this effect and have taken steps
to compensate with the rest of our vehicle lineup.
Our 2006 Tundra pickup will be equipped with Toyota's new eight-cylinder
engine, making it every bit as much of a gas guzzler as any American
pickup. We are also redirecting our efforts to use our Hybrid Synergy Drive
to increase power output rather than reduce gasoline consumption.
Take our new hybrid SUV, which produces 38 more horsepower but gets the
same mileage as our conventional version. A New York Times reviewer wrote,
"One question lingers after driving the 2006 Lexus RX400h: How did it come
to this, that Toyota is now selling a hybrid gas-electric vehicle with no
tangible fuel economy benefits?"
We hope this corrects any misimpression caused by our latest slogan
("Commute with Nature"). Hybrid technology is not "green" technology. Like
heated seats or flashy exterior trim, it's merely an expensive option that
generates large markups for the Toyota Corporation and its dealers.
You will share our pride in the latest figures from J.D. Power &
Associates, which show that the Prius continues to move off a dealer's lot
in just eight days, compared to 36 days for a Honda Civic hybrid. Clearly,
our customers are willing to pay handsomely for the privilege of showing
themselves behind the wheel of so conspicuously virtuous a vehicle.
But we are also a far-seeing corporation. We recognize that the Prius's
distinctiveness may be a wasting asset for reasons outlined in this letter.
Other motorists may see the Prius operator and think "sucker." Our lawyers
advise us this may affect your car's resale value. Toyota regrets any
inconvenience.
We want you to know that Toyota remains committed to advancing hybrid
technology just as long as our customers are willing to make it worth our
while. Our esteemed competitor, Nissan's Carlos Ghosn, was recently quoted
saying, "There's such a buzz today that no CEO of a car manufacturer dares
to say his real opinion of hybrid because he's accused of being retarded."
Another esteemed competitor, GM, has suggested that hybrid technology is
best deployed in city buses, where large fuel consumption and stop-and-go
driving might actually make it economically sensible.
These are just two examples of the short-sighted, stick-in-the-mud
marketing instincts of our fellow automakers that are helping to make
Toyota the largest car company in the world.
Yours Truly, the Toyota Corporation.
Dear Valued Hybrid Customer...
The Wall Street Journal
We at the Toyota Motor Corporation are writing to address certain
misconceptions that have arisen about your Toyota Prius model, which we are
proud to note is driven by many celebrities, including Prince Charles and
HBO's Larry David.
However, any romance entering its seventh year tends to go stale. Some
purchasers have begun to question the practical value of our Hybrid Synergy
Drive technology. You may be aware that a survey by Consumer Reports found
that our vehicles achieve considerably less mileage (some 26 percent less)
than the sticker rating implies. This has led to some unflattering media
stories.
Let us assure you that the Prius remains one of the most fuel-efficient
cars on the road. Toyota applauds your willingness to spend $9,500 over the
price of any comparable vehicle for the privilege of saving, at current
gasoline prices, approximately $580 a year.
And should the price of gasoline rise to $5, after 10 years and/or 130,000
miles of driving, you might even come close to breaking even on your
investment in hybrid technology.
We recognize that our customers have an "emotional" relationship with their
vehicles. This transcends even the regrettable truth that driving a
fuel-efficient car does not yield any substantial benefits for society if
it doesn't save the owner money.
Contrary to any loose statements made by our marketing partners in the
environmental community and media, petroleum not consumed by Prius owners
is not "saved." It does not remain in the ground. It is consumed by someone
else. Greenhouse pollutants are released. Also, please note that the
warranty and owner's manual say nothing about reducing America's dependence
on foreign oil. This is not an oversight. The Prius is an "oil-dependent"
vehicle. It runs on gasoline, supplied by the same world market that fuels
other vehicles.
The Toyota Corporation regrets any misunderstanding our marketing may
inadvertently have caused (or may cause in the future).
We share your belief that the days of the internal combustion engine are
numbered. Further research by our economists suggests this will happen when
the price of gasoline rises high enough to make alternative technologies
cheaper than gasoline-powered cars.
We at Toyota want you to know we recognize this effect and have taken steps
to compensate with the rest of our vehicle lineup.
Our 2006 Tundra pickup will be equipped with Toyota's new eight-cylinder
engine, making it every bit as much of a gas guzzler as any American
pickup. We are also redirecting our efforts to use our Hybrid Synergy Drive
to increase power output rather than reduce gasoline consumption.
Take our new hybrid SUV, which produces 38 more horsepower but gets the
same mileage as our conventional version. A New York Times reviewer wrote,
"One question lingers after driving the 2006 Lexus RX400h: How did it come
to this, that Toyota is now selling a hybrid gas-electric vehicle with no
tangible fuel economy benefits?"
We hope this corrects any misimpression caused by our latest slogan
("Commute with Nature"). Hybrid technology is not "green" technology. Like
heated seats or flashy exterior trim, it's merely an expensive option that
generates large markups for the Toyota Corporation and its dealers.
You will share our pride in the latest figures from J.D. Power &
Associates, which show that the Prius continues to move off a dealer's lot
in just eight days, compared to 36 days for a Honda Civic hybrid. Clearly,
our customers are willing to pay handsomely for the privilege of showing
themselves behind the wheel of so conspicuously virtuous a vehicle.
But we are also a far-seeing corporation. We recognize that the Prius's
distinctiveness may be a wasting asset for reasons outlined in this letter.
Other motorists may see the Prius operator and think "sucker." Our lawyers
advise us this may affect your car's resale value. Toyota regrets any
inconvenience.
We want you to know that Toyota remains committed to advancing hybrid
technology just as long as our customers are willing to make it worth our
while. Our esteemed competitor, Nissan's Carlos Ghosn, was recently quoted
saying, "There's such a buzz today that no CEO of a car manufacturer dares
to say his real opinion of hybrid because he's accused of being retarded."
Another esteemed competitor, GM, has suggested that hybrid technology is
best deployed in city buses, where large fuel consumption and stop-and-go
driving might actually make it economically sensible.
These are just two examples of the short-sighted, stick-in-the-mud
marketing instincts of our fellow automakers that are helping to make
Toyota the largest car company in the world.
Yours Truly, the Toyota Corporation.
