something funny for the gals!

polarpooch

Active Member
This is from a mail I just got from a girlfriend...it had me rolling on the floor! Thought I'd share with the ladies:
21 CLUES A WOMAN SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT...
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG WAY but..."
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight.
21. I start believing that everyone in the room wants to see my boobs.
 

kittykitty

Member

Originally posted by lovethesea
the scarey thing is some of them sound vaugely
familiar :nervous:

Yeah, isn't that sad??
 

birdy

Active Member
ROTFL! You know I am not much of a drinker, so I am always the DD with my friends, and those things listed above is why I will continue to not drink! Nothing sillier than a drunk woman lol.
 

saltymom

Member
I can even add one!
You might want to call it a night...when a bananna eating contest seems like a good idea!
 

polarpooch

Active Member
You guys are killing me! I, of course, do not see ANY resemblance to that list and ME (is my nose growing?)...
:jumping:
 

wrassecal

Active Member
Oh sheeet:eek: Since my marriage broke up I've been guilty of 1,2,7and 20!:help: And that's the ones I can remember...
 

lovethesea

Active Member
aww Wrassecal...hope things are gettin' better. Did you ever find the guy with the nice long firm arms to help out with the tank. I hope so :D (darn, we really need that winkie face back)
 

kittykitty

Member

Originally posted by polarpooch
This is from a mail I just got from a girlfriend...it had me rolling on the floor! Thought I'd share with the ladies:
21 CLUES A WOMAN SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT...
1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too.
5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it.
6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor.
16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap.
19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.

Is it bad that I am guilty of these even when I'm not drunk?
 
Top