meowzer
Moderator
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
>
> It was mealtime during an airline flight.
> 'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front..
> 'What are my choices?' John asked.
> 'Yes or no,' she replied.
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #5
>
> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
> man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench
> coat and flashed her.
> Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
> stub.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #4
>
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
> couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these
> turkeys get any bigger?'
> The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #3
>
> The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding
> rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
> The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
> ticket.
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #2
>
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read:
> Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and
> his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
> Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
> truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
> The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of
> gas'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!
>
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I
> won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your
> immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
> A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What
> would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
> sexual exhaustion?'
> The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
> restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and
> sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
> hand.'
>
>
> A BONUS EXTRA
>
> A woman is standing ---- looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with
> what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
> ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
>
>
> It was mealtime during an airline flight.
> 'Would you like dinner?', the flight attendant asked John, seated in front..
> 'What are my choices?' John asked.
> 'Yes or no,' she replied.
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #5
>
> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a
> man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench
> coat and flashed her.
> Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
> stub.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #4
>
> A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
> couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do these
> turkeys get any bigger?'
> The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #3
>
> The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding
> rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said.
> The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
> ticket.
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER #2
>
> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read:
> Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and
> his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
> Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
> truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
> The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of
> gas'
>
>
> SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!!
>
> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I
> won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your
> immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
> A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What
> would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
> sexual exhaustion?'
> The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was
> restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and
> sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other
> hand.'
>
>
> A BONUS EXTRA
>
> A woman is standing ---- looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with
> what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and
> ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.
>
