This is So Sad

scott t

Active Member
I was reading some local new as I do in the evenings on the weekends and came across this story that brought tears to my eyes. It is so senseless that others have to put down and ridicule others to the point that the feel they have no way out. Here is the article that I read:
Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old high school freshman in Buffalo, N.Y., was bullied. A lot. After years of being called gay slurs at school and being told by anonymous people online that he should die, he killed himself Monday.
Jamey’s mother, Tracy, told the Buffalo News that her son had questioned his sexuality and that his classmates began to tease and bully him. His parents were supportive of their son, and Jamey was seeing a social worker and a therapist. But that didn’t stop the bullying, and it didn’t ease Jamey’s pain, which spilled onto his Tumblr account.
“No one in my school cares about preventing suicide, while you’re the ones calling me [gay slur] and tearing me down,” he wrote on Sept. 8. He said the next day: “I always say how bullied I am, but no one listens. ... What do I have to do so people will listen to me?”
Despite their son’s numerous cries for help online, Jamey’s parents thought he was doing well. His father Tim told WGRZ that Jamey said that he was happy.
Last May, Jamey told his friends that he was bisexual and created his own “It Gets Better” video. He thanked Lady Gaga for supporting the gay community and told the viewers, “Love yourself and you’re set.”
Indeed, he received an outpouring of support online from Gaga’s fans, who call themselves “little monsters,” as well as from his friends.
But others online did not embrace him. “JAMIE IS STUPID, GAY, FAT ANND UGLY. HE MUST DIE!” an anonymous commenter said on Formspring. “I wouldn't care if you died. No one would. So just do it :) It would make everyone WAY more happier!” said another.
Columnist Dan Savage, who created the “It Gets Better” project, said on his blog that the people who bullied Jamey should be held accountable “for their actions, for their hate, for the harm they've caused.”
“They should be asked if they’re “WAY more happier” now, if they’re pleased with themselves, and if they have anything to say to the mother of the child they succeeded in bullying to death,” he wrote.
Teen suicide is not a new or uncommon problem. Of the more than 35,000 suicides reported in the United States in 2008, 4,513 of the cases were youths between the ages of 10 and 24, according to the Centers for Disease Control.
Savage said the high number of teenagers who are gay, bisexual or transsexual who have taken their own lives prompted him to found “It Gets Better,” a platform where adults could tell bullied kids that someday their lives will be brighter. But, as he wrote on his blog, the negativity is sometimes louder than the love:
“The point of the ‘It Gets Better’ project is to give kids like Jamey Rodemeyer hope for their futures. But sometimes hope isn't enough. Sometimes the damage done by hate and by haters is simply too great. Sometimes the future seems too remote. And those are the times our hearts break.”
If you feel this is wrong please Join http://www.itgetsbetter.org to show your support that Bullying is wrong, not only for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgendered youth, but against anyone.
 
S

siptang

Guest
this is just crazy... I fall more into anti homosexuality due to my religious beliefs but you should still love everyone the same and pray for them and support them as a friend or as a fellow human being.
People are just crazy thinking that this kind of behavior is acceptable. We should discourage this kind of behavior from our society by enforcing more strict rules and punishments.
 

scott t

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siptang http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419809
this is just crazy... I fall more into anti homosexuality due to my religious beliefs but you should still love everyone the same and pray for them and support them as a friend or as a fellow human being.
People are just crazy thinking that this kind of behavior is acceptable. We should discourage this kind of behavior from our society by enforcing more strict rules and punishments.
Thanks, Siptang. I agree there should be more enforcement of laws against bullying especially Cyber Bullying. The social sites that are out there should put rules into effect against this and monitor it.
 

beth

Administrator
Staff member
No kid should be relentlessly bullied, however, so many kids are; and you don't have to be bisexual, gay, nor lesbian for that to happen. It is an age-old problem. Most kids survive it, some do not. Some, like the Columbine kids, get even in the worst way; others kill themselves, self-loath, develop mental or emotional problems, but most preserver and may even become better people for it.
I think that rather than trying to make kids who call other kids names criminals, that parents, educators, etc. should find ways to help to make a bullied children preservere, cope, or even work the situation to his advantage. Running to the legal system to solve social issues is inappropriate. Now, committing crimes is not bulling, its committing crimes. Such as beating someone up because they are gay, fat, smart, mentally deficient, whatever. That is something that the law should and can intervene in.
 

scott t

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419817
No kid should be relentlessly bullied, however, so many kids are; and you don't have to be bisexual, gay, nor lesbian for that to happen. It is an age-old problem. Most kids survive it, some do not. Some, like the Columbine kids, get even in the worst way; others kill themselves, self-loath, develop mental or emotional problems, but most preserver and may even become better people for it.
I think that rather than trying to make kids who call other kids names criminals, that parents, educators, etc. should find ways to help to make a bullied children preservere, cope, or even work the situation to his advantage. Running to the legal system to solve social issues is inappropriate. Now, committing crimes is not bulling, its committing crimes. Such as beating someone up because they are gay, fat, smart, mentally deficient, whatever. That is something that the law should and can intervene in.
Beth that may be true but where does it start and where does it end? The real problem is that people are not intervening, they are not helping, they are turning a blind eye to it. The saddest part of it also is that, most states in the USA and the Federal Government dont have anti-hate Crime laws, which in effect put the message out there that Bullying, beating up someone, or even killing someone because of their difference is not wrong. Where does it stop?
I think it is a crime when they constantly harass them on a daily basis. They should be held accountable for their actions.
 

reefraff

Active Member
Hate crime laws are a joke because they are NEVER equally enforced. Crime is crime. Judges already have discretion when it comes to handing down sentences. If someone beats the snot out of a kid for being black, gay, white straight it's still against the law to beat the snot out of someone. If the motivation for said snot beating can be the difference between a slap on the wrist and a slap upside the head with the book.
In the case of this poor kid lets call it like it is, His parents are more to blame than anyone. That doesn't mean it's right for kids to bully but kids are kids and kids can be very mean, a lot more than they intend to be and unless an adult takes notice and does something about it crap like this happens.
 

scott t

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419838
Hate crime laws are a joke because they are NEVER equally enforced. Crime is crime. Judges already have discretion when it comes to handing down sentences. If someone beats the snot out of a kid for being black, gay, white straight it's still against the law to beat the snot out of someone. If the motivation for said snot beating can be the difference between a slap on the wrist and a slap upside the head with the book.
In the case of this poor kid lets call it like it is, His parents are more to blame than anyone. That doesn't mean it's right for kids to bully but kids are kids and kids can be very mean, a lot more than they intend to be and unless an adult takes notice and does something about it crap like this happens.
Why is it this poor kids parents? They were loving to him and supportive, they even went to the school and talk to the principal to let them know what was going on with him being harassed not only in school, but also on a social network site. The attitude that they got from the school was, we will look into it and kids will be kids. That is just a bunch of crap if you ask me. Everyone seems to want to just turn a blind eye to issues rather than deal with them full on. It is better to make simple excuses than to see what the problem is and to deal with it. I think that they should in every school teach a tolerance course to kids when the get to the middle and high school levels. This would in turn maybe make things a little better for kids that must go to school and deal with the constant battering that they face. They should be able to go to school and enjoy it, not see it as a battlefield everyday. It is just a shame that most people looking at it as a non problem and take the attitude that oh its ok , they are just kids and it happens.
 

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott T http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419840
Why is it this poor kids parents? They were loving to him and supportive, they even went to the school and talk to the principal to let them know what was going on with him being harassed not only in school, but also on a social network site. The attitude that they got from the school was, we will look into it and kids will be kids. That is just a bunch of crap if you ask me. Everyone seems to want to just turn a blind eye to issues rather than deal with them full on. It is better to make simple excuses than to see what the problem is and to deal with it. I think that they should in every school teach a tolerance course to kids when the get to the middle and high school levels. This would in turn maybe make things a little better for kids that must go to school and deal with the constant battering that they face. They should be able to go to school and enjoy it, not see it as a battlefield everyday. It is just a shame that most people looking at it as a non problem and take the attitude that oh its ok , they are just kids and it happens.
If the parents weren't getting results they should have pulled the kid out of school, went to the school board and demanded something be done. We had an issue with a kid that was picking on my son. The wife called and got the run around. She showed up in person and raised hell and threatened to call the cops in. School dealt with it that day. From some of the stories I've read it seems this kid had some issues that weren't getting dealt with. Again, doesn't excuse the bullying but lots of kids get bullied and don't kill themselves.
 

meowzer

Moderator
yeah...not saying the parents are 100% ot blame....BUT....if it were my kid....I'd be seriously talking to some more authoritive people....the other kids parents...and whoever else I could get ahold of
I WOULD NOT....send my child into that type of atmosphere....
 

scott t

Active Member
Well, I am talking from first hand experience from what this poor kid went through. I can still remember all the names, I can remember all the things that were said to me, I can remember the dark days when in the mind that there was no other way out. I remember the times sitting alone, thinking that maybe the world and the ones that loved me would be better off without me, I remember the failed attempts at trying to make them better off. It stays with you forever, you dint forget it, yes you get over it, some persevere, but some dint. I remember getting drunk and taking drugs when from the time I was 13 until I could deal with who I was, just to get rid of the pain, to get rid of the thoughts, to get rid of the pain, to make the horrible world go away. The depression, the eating disorder, trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, just wanting to be myself and to be loved., to be accepted. Walk a mile in my shoes when I was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, etc. until I made the choice and was strong enough to decide to make myself happy. Until you live that constant day to day battering by others making you feel like you are nothing, that you are worth nothing, you can not and will never know how it feels. Yes I know that some are not as strong as I am to have over come this and move on with life. I will say this to everyone who has ever had to, or is dealing, or may deal with it, keep your head up because life does get better.
 

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowzer http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419860
yeah...not saying the parents are 100% ot blame....BUT....if it were my kid....I'd be seriously talking to some more authoritive people....the other kids parents...and whoever else I could get ahold of
I WOULD NOT....send my child into that type of atmosphere....
Zactly. My wife went to the school because when she told me they blew her off my plan was to follow the kid home from school then pay his parents a visit that night. She was afraid I might do something rash but I am really a harmless ball of fluff, like Rush :) This kid's parents obviously weren't aware of the problem because after the incident he quit harassing my kid and they became friends for a while, until he talked my kid into shoplifting a couple packs of gum and he got caught LOL!
 

gemmy

Active Member
I think that a lot of this has to fall on the way children are raised these days. The parents have to work longer hours and more days, both parents are working and the children are left at home (where many parents insist on having the children holed up in the house alone with nowhere to turn but to computers and video games). This is inhibiting the children from getting proper social skills and coping skills. The children do not know how to interact in a constructive way nor do they know how to cope when issues arise.
 

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scott T http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419862
Well, I am talking from first hand experience from what this poor kid went through. I can still remember all the names, I can remember all the things that were said to me, I can remember the dark days when in the mind that there was no other way out. I remember the times sitting alone, thinking that maybe the world and the ones that loved me would be better off without me, I remember the failed attempts at trying to make them better off. It stays with you forever, you dint forget it, yes you get over it, some persevere, but some dint. I remember getting drunk and taking drugs when from the time I was 13 until I could deal with who I was, just to get rid of the pain, to get rid of the thoughts, to get rid of the pain, to make the horrible world go away. The depression, the eating disorder, trying to be what I thought others wanted me to be, just wanting to be myself and to be loved., to be accepted. Walk a mile in my shoes when I was 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, etc. until I made the choice and was strong enough to decide to make myself happy. Until you live that constant day to day battering by others making you feel like you are nothing, that you are worth nothing, you can not and will never know how it feels. Yes I know that some are not as strong as I am to have over come this and move on with life. I will say this to everyone who has ever had to, or is dealing, or may deal with it, keep your head up because life does get better.
Not to minimize what you went through but try growing up the fat kid.
Going through high school I was only aware on one gay kid. He would make fun of himself which I am sure was his way of dealing with things but I honestly do not remember him being picked on. I am sure it happened but most people I knew just accepted him for who (or what LOL!) he was. Pretty funny guy who could be obnoxious at times. I think it comes down to back then (mid 70's) kids were raised to show more respect than they do now days. If I had talked to an adult the way I see a lot of kids do these day I would have gotten the hell beat out of me. My parents would have considered it an embarrassment for the school to call saying we were picking on another kid and embarrassing them came with consequences.
 

reefraff

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemmy http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419868
I think that a lot of this has to fall on the way children are raised these days. The parents have to work longer hours and more days, both parents are working and the children are left at home (where many parents insist on having the children holed up in the house alone with nowhere to turn but to computers and video games). This is inhibiting the children from getting proper social skills and coping skills. The children do not know how to interact in a constructive way nor do they know how to cope when issues arise.
That to. I was born in 59 and growing up in the 60's it was rare to have a friend who's mom worked. When my mom started working with no answering machines or voice mail all the school could do was mail a letter. I made it a point to beat my little sister to the mail box, little toad would snitch me out if there was a letter from school.
 

scott t

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419869
Not to minimize what you went through but try growing up the fat kid.
Going through high school I was only aware on one gay kid. He would make fun of himself which I am sure was his way of dealing with things but I honestly do not remember him being picked on. I am sure it happened but most people I knew just accepted him for who (or what LOL!) he was. Pretty funny guy who could be obnoxious at times. I think it comes down to back then (mid 70's) kids were raised to show more respect than they do now days. If I had talked to an adult the way I see a lot of kids do these day I would have gotten the hell beat out of me. My parents would have considered it an embarrassment for the school to call saying we were picking on another kid and embarrassing them came with consequences.
I was not really that skinny either, I got the harassment on many ends of the road. Had an eating disorder to go along with being fat. not to mention gay, from the wrong end of town, not from a wealth family. not having top of the line clothes or shoes, you name it I was picked on for it. I can attest to what many kids go thru and have to deal with, and if I can make the difference in one child's life and make them feel good about them self I will go the extra mile to do it.
 

lovethesea

Active Member
"these days" are worse for any kind of bullying/tormenting. "Back in the day" (meaning no cells/computers/fbooks/texts/instant msg/pic text/blah you know what I mean) Things worked out differently, they were slower. Not making it better, but things worked out differently.People talked/communicated face to face. Now things are instant and everybody knows everything (regardless of truth or not) instantly. People can hide behind a phone or computer. Kids need communication/interaction from an adult. Yes a parent would be perfect,but these days sometimes that isnt possible. But any adult taking care to a child/young adult is all that is needed. Talking, communicating and telling them know what is expected and what is NOT tolarated will give them guidelines. They cross those lines and they
are out. Live in my house....its my rules......parents need to be parents regardless of age/sex/creed etc IMO that is where the breaking point is. Parents aren't parents anymore. They need to be the friend, no parent.
 

aquaknight

Active Member
Anyone have a good site on statistics on suicides? A lot of what I'm finding, while not exactly being the newest data, is strongly showing suicides on the decrease, down from a high 16% (per 100,000) among 15-24 year olds in 1980s/1990s, to around 9% in the later 2000's.
I suspect a lot of it is a double-edged sword. Not only is facebook/social media responsible for some of these suicides, but because of the available of media today, everyone hears about everything terrible.
 

rainbow grouper

Active Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darthtang AW http:///t/388070/this-is-so-sad#post_3419992
This thread is depressing me. Think I will go kill myself.
Darth (probably just turn off the computer instead) Tang
we do not wish to add you to our list darth. bullying these days is ridiculous (I know i shouldn't say what i can't do but) kids should learn to be able to laugh it off. also whilst were on the subject I've had people bully me but been able to use that to my own ends and turn them into friends.
 

stdreb27

Active Member
I'd say my opinion, but I'd probably get called all sorts of slurs (for my compassionate opinion), and go kill myself too. So i won't.
 
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