Vampire for Govenor

[keleighr]

MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.
'Politics is a cut-throat business,' said Jonathan 'The Impaler' Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.
Like Jesse 'The Body' Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time 'The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula' on obscure professional circuits.
'I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus,' Sharkey told Reuters. 'I just hate God the Father.'
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post 'everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed' in government buildings.
Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.
Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire 'just like you see in the movies and TV.'
'I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood,' he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

 

[ruaround]

Vampires, Witches and Pagans ... Oh My!!!

isnt politics already full of vampires??? :hilarious ...
probably wont be the most popular with the majority of voters...

 

[keleighr]

i just thought this was hilarious.

 

[cowfishrule]

Originally Posted by ruaround
Vampires, Witches and Pagans ... Oh My!!!

isnt politics already full of vampires??? :hilarious ...
probably wont be the most popular with the majority of voters...

actually, he would probably win- you have to be careful with these midwest towns- there is nothing else going on, so weird crap like this is acceptable.
hell, i'd vote for him- as nutty as he sounds, he's probably better than any other politician.

 

[boalgf]

I'd sooner have a politician who is out for my money than out for my blood.
It's too bad people don't see candidates like him in the comic sense that they should.

 

[cowfishrule]

Originally Posted by boalgf
I'd sooner have a politician who is out for my money than out for my blood.
It's too bad people don't see candidates like him in the comic sense that they should.

here's the problem-
most politicians are more concerned with getting elected than being productive.
we are so used to promises never kept (at least here in NJ). a wacko like this in office will do everything he says, including impale prisoners.

 

[boalgf]

Yeah, in my world wacko means honest too... Being a nut doesn't mean this guy will do anything he says. Fact is, he's got a screw or two loose. I count my blessings that I'm not in his jurisdiction. So when fellow nuts (like COWFISHRULE) vote for him I don't have to deal with the consequences.