"Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go in reverse. Tanks that only go in reverse — they've been repackaged and sold to France." —Craig Kilborn
I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton
Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--Norman Schwartzkopf
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
---Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
---Rush Limbaugh
Q. What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
A. You can make soldiers out of toast.
Why does the French Flag have Velcro?
So the blue and red sections are easily removed during a time of war
How many Frenchmen does it take to defend
[hr]
?
No one knows. It's never been tried.
How many gears does a French tank have?
Five, four in reverse and one forward (in case of attack from behind).
What do you call someone in France taking a bath?
A tourist
FOR SALE: French rifles . . . never fired, only dropped once.
It has come to my attention the real reason the French have not mobilized in the war with Iraq is they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Seems the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be too confusing.
"The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." —Dennis Miller
Three guys, an Englishman, a Frenchman and an American are out walking along
the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out
of it. "I will give you each one wish, " says the genie.
The Englishman says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will
also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in England." With a blink
of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in England was forever made fertile
for farming.
The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so that
no one can come into our precious country." Again, with a blink of the
Genie's eye, 'POOF' - there was a huge wall around France.
The American asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.
The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick and
nothing can get in or out."
The American says, "Fill it up with water