theclemsonkid
Member
All day long at my business, I get to hear dozens of the same radio advertisements over and over and over. For at least half of them, I have noticed a recurring theme. Whether it's diet pills, erectile dysfunction treatment, skin cream, beauty products... it really makes no difference. They all have a recurring theme, and that is to get the consumer to try a "100% risk-free trial".
I figured there had to be some kind of catch, because as you all know, nothing is free in this world. You can't give away free products and succeed as a business. Anyone with half a brain knows that. Apparently, the demographics people at these companies have realized that there are a lot of Americans without half a brain.
Here's how it works.
1. Come up with a product that a lot of people could theoretically use. We're all relatively fat, ugly, self conscious, or strapped for cash, so go in that direction.
2. Make outrageous claims about your product. You'll lose 100 lbs, or regrow all your hair, or be blemish free, etc.
3. Make people an offer on the surface they can't refuse! 100% RISK FREE TRIAL!!!*
4. Tell them for their risk free offer, they need to pay a minimal "shipping fee". Something less than $10.
5. Now that you have their credit card information, make ambiguity laced comments, which make them legally agree to trying your product for a pre-determined amount of time. Usually around 14 days. After that 14 day period, if they don't cancel their "risk free trial", they get charged just $79.99 every month moving forward. The trick is to make sure you bury that information deep enough to where they don't hear or read it.
6. Make sure it's really complex and complicated to cancel their risk free trial. A good way to start, is with a phone number that doesn't actually have anyone on the other end. Usually a good confusing message with where to send the product, with some return number is a good start. Make sure people think to themselves "Good God this is hard and confusing"
7. Hire a really good lawyer. Because there is a pretty good chance you are going to get sued, be it in small claims, or in a class action suit.
8. Lastly, spend your new mountain of money!
So, who is in?!?
I figured there had to be some kind of catch, because as you all know, nothing is free in this world. You can't give away free products and succeed as a business. Anyone with half a brain knows that. Apparently, the demographics people at these companies have realized that there are a lot of Americans without half a brain.
Here's how it works.
1. Come up with a product that a lot of people could theoretically use. We're all relatively fat, ugly, self conscious, or strapped for cash, so go in that direction.
2. Make outrageous claims about your product. You'll lose 100 lbs, or regrow all your hair, or be blemish free, etc.
3. Make people an offer on the surface they can't refuse! 100% RISK FREE TRIAL!!!*
4. Tell them for their risk free offer, they need to pay a minimal "shipping fee". Something less than $10.
5. Now that you have their credit card information, make ambiguity laced comments, which make them legally agree to trying your product for a pre-determined amount of time. Usually around 14 days. After that 14 day period, if they don't cancel their "risk free trial", they get charged just $79.99 every month moving forward. The trick is to make sure you bury that information deep enough to where they don't hear or read it.
6. Make sure it's really complex and complicated to cancel their risk free trial. A good way to start, is with a phone number that doesn't actually have anyone on the other end. Usually a good confusing message with where to send the product, with some return number is a good start. Make sure people think to themselves "Good God this is hard and confusing"
7. Hire a really good lawyer. Because there is a pretty good chance you are going to get sued, be it in small claims, or in a class action suit.
8. Lastly, spend your new mountain of money!
So, who is in?!?
