Bad News

[oceanists]

Hey guys just need a place to let out some frustrations.
Ever since I was a teenager the one thing I wanted in my life was a child. Today I just found out that my wife an I cannot get pregnant, which has shattered both of our dreams, we have the option of IVF but how can I afford to pay 15 grand non refundable on a 50/50 chance conception. And while I look at the world I kind of get bitter because I see people everyday that dont deserve to have children, that may be me just being selfish but at this point thats how I feel. I just dont know what to do Im pretty depressed now and feel like Im going to lead a useless life. I cant truly express how I feel to my wife because I dont want her to feel like she is a lesser of a person because I will always love her and always stay with her no matter what. I just dont know what do

 

[poniegirl]

How brave of you and how loving.
If the one thing you want in your life is a child, and God bless you, I have to tell you that as many people that you see "everyday that dont deserve to have children", there are babies that do desreve to have loving families, like you and your wife.
Give yourselves some time to accept your life in the different way it now presents itself.
Don't stop hoping for that child.

 

[lion_crazz]

I agree with Michele.
Oceanist, I am very sorry to hear about the whole situation. I know I would feel the same way if I were in your position. My fiancee and I would be crushed if we found this out.
I believe that everything in life happens for a reason. I will keep you and your wife in my prayers, as I am sure both of you are just devastated at this news.

 

[oceanists]

Thank both of you , Im gonna explore all options , as much as it hurts its something we have to deal with, whatever it takes we are going to figure something out. I dont know what is at this point but the big guy up above has a plan. This I believe was my biggest fear and here it is staring me in the face. We will overcome it soome way. I have rethought the IVF looked it up and found a clinic in Chicago that offers a 100% refund if a live baby is not born, its 22 grand but 22 grand refundable is better than 15 grand non refundable. I am also going to look at adoption and what qualifications need to be met.
Thank you both for your support in this rough time

 

[1journeyman]

Sorry Oceanists. Ive got nothing to add, so just know I've read your thread and prayed for you and your wife.

 

[sepulatian]

Originally Posted by Oceanists
Thank both of you , Im gonna explore all options , as much as it hurts its something we have to deal with, whatever it takes we are going to figure something out. I dont know what is at this point but the big guy up above has a plan. This I believe was my biggest fear and here it is staring me in the face. We will overcome it soome way. I have rethought the IVF looked it up and found a clinic in Chicago that offers a 100% refund if a live baby is not born, its 22 grand but 22 grand refundable is better than 15 grand non refundable. I am also going to look at adoption and what qualifications need to be met.
Thank you both for your support in this rough time
I too believe everything in life happens for a reason. I had a child when I was 15 and he is now 11. I was married for the past 10 years, and was unable to concieve. I don't give up hope though. I am 27 and single once again. There is a reason for everything. Your time will come to be a parent. If it doesn't happen naturally, it will happen. You and your wife obviously have alot of love to give, and there are babies given up every single day. Keep the faith. I will keep you in my prayers.

 

[oceanists]

thank all of you

 

[cowfishrule]

thats tuff, bro.
my advice would be to not hide this from your wife (the hurt).
let her see you are hurting, too.
a guy at work here went ivf.
he ended up with twins, and couldnt be happier.

 

[oceanists]

that what I am hoping for if I do IVF
I told my wife whatever needs to be done we will do. And expressed that I know she is upset and that I am to but nothing nhas changed between us and we are gonna get through it together

 

[shogun323]

My heart goes out to you and your wife. Yall are in my prayers. Everything happens for a reason and although you can't see the silver lining your blessing will come.
~Wade

 

[oceanists]

Originally Posted by shogun323
My heart goes out to you and your wife. Yall are in my prayers. Everything happens for a reason and although you can't see the silver lining your blessing will come.
~Wade
Thank you Wade

 

[scgator]

Oceanists,
Don't give up hope. I know of two couples that couldn't have children, but DID. GOD is all powerful. I have a friend that recently adopted from China (I think). She said that it wasn't too bad of a process.
We'll keep you in our prayers. God Bless you!
Chris

 

[emmitt2]

Keep your head up, nothing is for certain. Our neighbors 2 houses down tried for 6 years and were told they could never have kids. They even tried IVF two times and it didnt work. 3 years ago, they adopted a 1 year old girl from Russia. Then out of the blue, last year she got pregnant without them even trying and had a healthy baby boy 4 months ago. Theres always hope!

 

[yomommasmom]

sepulation thats a little young to have an child

 

[renogaw]

I know what you're going through oceanists my wife and i have been trying for over 3 years now and nothing, where i see my family and friends getting pregnant 2 or 3 times--even my sister-in-law's wife is pregnant before us (... don't ask). my wife breaks down every once in a while. I'm trying to convince her we need to visit a doctor but she's afraid of the news you just received.
At least you took the first step to find out WHY (which is very hard step), now hopefully you can take the next step and something works out. As a last resort, there always is adoption.
Good luck man, and let us know.

 

[indydirk]

Adoptive babies are such special gifts
Sent down from God above
To fill a void within our lives
With so much joy and love
Through tender loving guidance
Teach him/her good from bad
The greatest words you’ll ever hear
Are “I love you mom and dad”
Just a little something that I came up with for some friends of ours that were in your shoes. My heart goes out to you and your wife, God will provide a way - either through adoption or blessing you with your own. You're in our prayers.

 

[nigerbang]

Keep up the faith, You never know what could happen..Here is an example..My cousin Mike was told that his wife and him could never have children..Went through the long adoption process and they were able to adopt my cousin Ryan from the Phillipenes(sp)..2 years later, They had Twins..Heather and Steven, About 3 years later they had Kevin...Anything is possible...

 

[oceanists]

Wow ... thank you to everybody for such kind words and thought , this is an example of why I love it here and come back here everyday. God bless you all!

 

[sinner's g]

I don't know what to say. I do know a couple who had luck on the first try with IVF. and again three years later on the first try, with twins.
I want nothing more in life than to have a child. I'm not sure how I would react if I'm not able to when the time comes. Best of luck to you and to your wife, don't lose hope or faith.

 

[ophiura]

I'm really sorry to hear this.
As others have done (and not to be heartless or anything - definitely not) just remember that while you are thinking you can't have kids, there are thousands upon thousand of kids who may be thinking they can't have parents. Always consider adoption....