Broken Hearts- Share your stories...

[groupergenius]

For what it's worth...fundamentals.
1. What has she done for you in the past?
2. What is she doing for you now?
3. What do you think she will do to your future?
If 1 thru 3 are positive, keep her.
If 1 thru 3 are debate-able, quit talking to her. Take it as a life lesson learned and move on. Of course personally I do not know either one of you, but I have been in situations like this. You are still a young man with the better part of your life ahead. Years flash by like months. Don't waste the months in regrets.

 

[essop3]

I have a good one. My ex wife was going to the Gator Bowl and to a friends wedding. They were close friends of mine and we always went to WVU football games together. It was just one of our things. I couldn't go because my dad was in ICU and maybe wasn't going to make it. My entire family was leaning on me since I worked in the ICU he was in. Bad enough she didn't stay with me.
During the game I get a pic message from an unknown number. It's her a cuddled up with another guy. Turns out she'd been seeing him for awhile. I don't know how she thought she was gonna hide the wedding pictures.
B***h

 

[hattrick58]

1) No second chances. When she comes back teary eyed and apologetic, explain to her that you've moved on. Make sure you thank her for the life lesson, though. If you give her another chance, she holds the upper hand and you are allowing her to "be the debil". And she knows it.
2) If you didn't have what she wanted the first time, what makes her think anything has changed since then?
3) Everybody has something someone wants, needs, appreciates, respects. If she doesn't find that with you, move along. Trust me, believe me when I say there are women out there who are beautiful and will appreciate you for who you are.....Provided your not an ass and drooling all over yourself.
4) I also learned a long time ago self-medicating isn't necessarily always a good idea when you're looking for a relationship. Easy does it folks.
5) Carry yourself like a man and show responsibility.
6) These things take time. Be prepared for that.

 

[hattrick58]

essop3; Dude, that sucks. I noticed you said ex-wife, so you did the right thing. This may be nomb, but did you and your ex have kids?
Did you ever find out who sent the pic? I know personally I would want to thank him.

 

[fishkiller]

Did you notice that it gets worse at night? Or am I alone on that one?

 

[seasalt101]

it sucked at night thats when everything gets quiet except your brain

 

[hattrick58]

It is more difficult at night. Surround yourself with positive friends & co-workers during the day. Throw yourself into your work. Stay as busy as you can during the daytime hours and concentrate on the task at hand. Sleep will come eventually. You will get thru this!
Most of us are part of the same club so we know what's going on.
Do you like to read? If not, it might be a good time to get into a good book or two. Read until your eyes feel like anchors.

 

[ric maniac]

yep, its terrible at night. im in a bad situation as well. a girl was visiting across the street for three weeks. i really got to know her, and i fell in love. then i realized she was only visiting. so she went back to arizona. we still e-mail eachother, and she really likes me as well but we are so far apart

 

[lovethesea]

"fool me once....shame on you.....fool me twice.....shame on me"!!! Yes, sounds corny, but she ultimately seems to use you.

Don't resort to medicating yourself, she would love that story. Try to look seriously into what you think may have been what kept it together. And her excuse that "your negative" is lame. We all have days.....including her. She is basically telling you she is great at all times and your a downer.
As you stated I am sure she is a great gal on the outside as you stated. We would all love her. BUT.........
I am wondering if she would love to know that you are ripping yourself apart over this.

 

[fishkiller]

Man, I didn't expect so much support. The entire world seems to be on her side.... except you guys! In the words of Cartman "I love you guys". I have expressed some of these horrible feelings to her. She gets upset and says she doesn't know if she's doing the right thing, she's confused, blah blah blah... She has no problem eating. ME? I have lost 30 pounds in 5 weeks, and I have been working out less than usual. I probably take in what should be a day's worth of calories in about a week. I will admit though, I'm looking pretty ripped. NICE!! I guess that goes hand-in-hand with being single. The body sheds fat when you have been dumped to expose the sexy beast within... lol.. j/k.. I may be a beast, but I don't know about sexy. Not that I was fat before, but I do look better with 30 lbs less fat. Finally got rid of those love handles.... I don't know why I didn't come to you guys right away.... Nuthin but love for ya!!! GROUP HUG!!!!!

 

[smartorl]

Just always move forward. Take care of YOURSELF, read a book, take a run, get a new haircut, do things to make yourself a more confident person, if you think you tend to be negative, work on that, work on you inside and out, pretty soon you will realize that you can do better than her.
My best guy friend is going through the same exact thing right now. He has just been sitting around waiting on her to throw him a bone and spend some time with him. He is finally coming around realizing what a yo-yo he has been on with her for years. His girlfriend who is or rather was a friend of mine has played him because she knew he would always take her back. She would come to him, they would get back together, she would get her feet back under her and off she would go again. I know that she has cheated on him several times, but I haven't told him because he would likely kill someone. Not saying that your girl is a bad person, just not right for you.
You don't want to be sitting around bellyaching over Ms. Wrong and miss out on meeting Ms. Right.

 

[crimzy]

Hey man. Forgive me if I give you my honest opinion, but that's probably why you posted this part of your life. First, unfortunately it sounds as if you love her more than she loves you. You should come to terms with this because this will never change. If you keep trying to get her back, (and you may), then this will end the same way again... with you devastated.
The problem is that if you show her that she can walk on you, she'll never respect you. I would avoid showing her your pain. On a more optimistic note, generally things like this will lead to positive life changes. Often the toughest break ups are the best things that could happen to you.
Finally, I don't care how hot she is... it really doesn't matter. As much as you want to be with her, understand that a good relationship means that you can't live without each other. It's not one sided.
Do yourself a favor, put that in your past and move on to other women. There are so many out there!!!

 

[fishkiller]

She was more than hot on the outside. The way she makes you feel about yourself makes you fall in love with her. So many guys have become obsessed with her in the past just for saying a few words to them....but thanx....

 

[murph145]

dude love sucks hahaha i just broke up with my gf back in early may... was with her a lil over 2 years nothing outraegous but long for me...
i thought she was the most adorable thing but she was so insecure it drove her crazy and she couldnt help but accuseing me of crap so i couldnt take anymore.... its hard but life moves on focus on yourself and what you enjoy doing go treat yourself to something nice it will make u feel a tad bit better

 

[fishkiller]

Yeah man, love DOES suck! HA! You're right. I'm gonna treat myself to some thai food. Some Red Curry chicken should do the trick!

 

[murph145]

Originally Posted by fishkiller
Yeah man, love DOES suck! HA! You're right. I'm gonna treat myself to some thai food. Some Red Curry chicken should do the trick!

dude u got it! make yourself happy and u wont even think twice about that girl lol well at least for a lil bit .... i try to keep busy go out with friends just got back from las vegas and bought myself a new watch

i know everyone says dont stress it its hard and it does suck but my thoughts is that if it wasnt meant to be it wasnt meant to be im just moving fwd with my life and my goals

 

[fishkiller]

Dude, now I'm psyched!!! Tomorrow night, I'm getting me some red curry, my dogs can split a porterhouse, and I'm gonna rent something I've been wanting to see..... Now, I just need some willing cute chic to crawl up on the couch next to me and my doggies with a bottle ol' reliable..... Not bad, eh?

 

[reefforbrains]

Get the ultimate revenge...........
Be nothing but a Gentleman if you ever see her.
Realize things about yourself that may have been an issue in your past whether in the relationship or otherwise, but odds are if they are in your life then they have bled into every relationship you have ever had. For instance negativity ect. Work on them for YOURSELF, not for her.
Screw trying to figure everything you want out of life. Just start conciously closing doors on things you DONT want.
You are a sharp cat, you know impulse and rash behavior is a waste of time. Truely focus on your happiness, not on fufillment of fantasy or lust ect, but to be happy. To wake up in the morning....or crack of noon if you like with something that WAKES YOU UP.
Some crappy stuff to face when you look at yoru flaws that might have lead to the way your life is but its ALWAYS changable.
After even just a few months pass by you WILL have a different outloook on the entire original position.
Not saying I have a sure fire 12 step program for you in the least, Just take it slow and figure your own baggage out before trying to share it with someone else and you will be much happier for sure.
-JMO

 

[hattrick58]

I guess since I’ve been spouting off all this worldly advice about heartbreak, I should share my stories. It’s only fair, right?
Towards the end of my career in the Active Military, I found myself cohabitating with a woman in the beautiful California desert. We were both single and life certainly was good for me at that time. During this period I had to go home on emergency leave a due to a suicide in the family.
When I returned, I discovered that she had replaced me with a friend/co-worker of mine. I began a destructive path of alcohol abuse and coupled with my rage, I found myself alienating scores of friends and destroying relationships with some very fine people. These were all unsalvageable and I regret this to this very day and will regret this until the day I die. I loved her. She didn’t love me. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon or a brain scientist to realize that this wasn’t going to work. Heartbreak? Nope. A mere crack in the ego I would later find out.
Fast-forward a few years.
I’m now married w/ a beautiful daughter. We’re quite content and able to spoil our child with all the things she would like to have (well, almost all the things she would like to have). Soon after she turned 15, she abruptly dropped out of school, ran away from home and started using methamphetamine. I have never known a knee buckling, heart wrenching pain such as this. We had spent her entire life sheltering, coddling, teaching and protecting her. Now she’s on her way to being a statistic.
I learned quickly that the police were going to be ineffective and I was going to have to start hitting the streets, knocking on doors. She was spending time with some folks that I wouldn’t choose as her friends (one guy was an ex-convict). And lies? I was being lied to so much, I thought I worked for the IRS on April 15th. By other parents, too. I’m fortunate enough to have a job that will allow me to leave work when needed so when my eyes and ears would report a sighting to me, I was on my way.
She would always stay one step ahead of me, though. I finally forced her home by wedging myself between her and her “friends”. Finally, no one wanted to harbor her because they didn’t know what her crazy, psycho ol’ man was going to do. She had no place to go except home.
She is doing well now. It’s been frustrating and a tremendous amount of work, especially for her, but there is significant progress being made.
This is my definition of heartbreak.

 

[jennythebugg]

oh hattrick58 that tears me up to hear about your little girl, so glad to hear she is back home and safe, she may not realize it now but years down the road she is going know you saved her life and she'll love you double for it
your'e a good dad .