everyone getting divorced?

[deejeff442]

everyone i know in N.Y. my age is divorced.my brother got served a month ago.now i just talked to a friend and now he is getting divorced.its like the plague.my soon to be ex-sis in law listed everything she wants which is everything.the house,kids,utilities paid ect. funny because he had a prenup and the house was bought by him ,only in his name before the marriage .her parents dont like their own daughter and called my brother and my parents and told them they want my brother to have the kids.she will be lucky to afford an apartment when they are done.reality must have kicked in because she pulled my brother aside and said maybe she was hasty and wants to reconcile.my brother said too bad.so we will se how that goes.

 

[meowzer]

I have always been told.....When you file something like that, you ask for it all and bargain later......LOL....doesn't always work though...BUT you would also be surprised at how many idiots just sign away everything

....or don't show up for hearings, losing it all that way.

 

[deejeff442]

well there is alot to my brothers story.first he aint a total saint.but his wife went out on her own about 6 or 7 months ago and got a loan for a boob job and tucks.i heard $8000 didnt tell my brother until 3 days before surgery that she needed a ride to the hospital.of course he did it.her own father said she is an ungratefull bitc+.so she will get what coming to her.she gets half of what they accumulated in the 4 years of marriage.a boat loan that is upside down and two snowmobiles that are upside down in value also.too funny.she also "lost" three expensive bracelets he bought her .who knows?

 

[flower]

The only advice I can offer..DO NOT GET IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!!
If you say the wrong thing..they get back together, they forgive each other, and you are the new enemy. It's their marriage and let them sort it out. Listen but say nothing, take no sides.

 

[meowzer]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320452

The only advice I can offer..DO NOT GET IN THE MIDDLE OF IT!!!
If you say the wrong thing..they get back together, they forgive each other, and you are the new enemy. It's their marriage and let them sort it out. Listen but say nothing, take no sides.
I agree...sort of.....REMEMBER...only the fly on the wall knows the whole truth......BUT be a brother....listen, console, but leave it at that

 

[reefraff]

Yep, tread lightly until all is said and done. It's amazing how much discovering she wont get the husband's whole paycheck affects a woman's need to end the marriage.

 

[smartorl]

Hey, hey, hey......men can be vultures too!
My ex screwed me over royally. He went from living with mommy still in his 30's to moving in with me and having things pretty well considering my son made a larger paycheck. I didn't care about his finances initially but later came to see that he had was content being lazy and chose not to work. He did finally leave my home after I paid him off but because he did get a certain business I started while we were together. Because he had no idea how to deal with the business, he struggled, I waited my six months to not compete, opened a new one and squashed him like a bug on a windshield.
The only consolation, big man is back living with his mother who has him on an allowance. Too funny!

 

[meowzer]

Quote:
Originally Posted by smartorl http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320484
Hey, hey, hey......men can be vultures too!
The only consolation, big man is back living with his mother who has him on an allowance. Too funny!
They sure can......
funny Smartorl.....sent him back to mama....haha

 

[deejeff442]

he is 1500 miles away and dont really bring it up.i get my info from mom.oh yea she also told one of my nephews she cant wait till school starts so she dont have to watch him all day.this came out of my nephews mouth.so hope she burns.

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by deejeff442 http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320496
he is 1500 miles away and dont really bring it up.i get my info from mom.oh yea she also told one of my nephews she cant wait till school starts so she dont have to watch him all day.this came out of my nephews mouth.so hope she burns.

Ever play the game telephone? A message is whipered into a persons ear and then down the line everyone tells the message to the person behind them..at the end the last person tells the message they heard..I never matches the original statement.
So if hearsay is the best you got...from a childs perspective yet...1500 miles away...let it go.

 

[deejeff442]

actually he told me himself when i was up there for a wedding 3 weeks ago sorry got it screwed up.but i hear alot who knows but them.

 

[ironeagle2006]

Deejeff I here you on the the Divorce. My Ex made teh Mistake of asking for one from me and wanted the MOON from my butt also in Support. Sad part is she Bragged about her Affairs to a close Friend of Mine ONLINE in IM's and Email. That friend who I am in deep debt gratitude for gave them to me and so I had them with me when it came time for the hearing 6 hours away from were I moved to. I showed up and then went Your Honor I have evidence of affairs she admitted to before we were Legally Separated that I would like to introduce into evidence that she was cheating on me and therefore precludes her from getting support From me. By the time I was done with her I could have gotten Support til I died If I had wanted.

 

[reefraff]

I know men can be skunks too but it's a lot harder for them to get away with it. I don't know many cases where the man got off slick unless the wife really screwed up.
I got out clean on my first marriage. I saw the writing on the wall and had been stashing money for a couple months. I gave her the furniture which I didn't need and walked away with no debt other than the payment on my car and a few grand in the the bank. Lucked out.

 

[flower]

I Wisconsin they had an advocate in the court room for my now X to make sure he was treated fair because he didn't even show up for the hearing, he got no lawyer or anything..just rolled over and played dead. y leaving him distroyed him you know.... Things were split pretty even. The thing is, he didn't take a thing and let the house he wanted go into foreclosure. For a long time he told everyone he got NOTHING, nothing at all...I took it all.
Even when I would mention something he got but left, he would demand he got NOTHING! I had finally had a belly full of his complaining and told him that when I say he got something it meant he was awarded it, if he didn't take it, that was his own stupid fault. he quit whining after that.

 

[reefraff]

California is interesting. When my stepdad divorced the mother of his kids he gave her a house and fairly new car, both paid for instead of child support, right in the divorce agreement that she was responsible for all the kids expenses period. Fast forward several years. His son gets tossed in Juvi for a couple months. They come after my step dad for payment. He tells them of the agreement and they say because his ex didn't work she didn't have to pay anything. He explained that her husband had a job and they said it didn't matter but when they set up the amount he had to pay they sure as hell took my mom's salary into consideration

 

[cranberry]

Your step dad needed a better lawyer to explain things. Child support agreements are modifiable in more states than just California.
Your step dad also has his story a little backwards. "California law is quite clear that new mate income cannot generally be considered against you in ordering or modifying child or spousal support. The controlling California Family statute is section 4057.5."

 

[flower]

Quote:
Originally Posted by reefraff http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320638
California is interesting. When my stepdad divorced the mother of his kids he gave her a house and fairly new car, both paid for instead of child support, right in the divorce agreement that she was responsible for all the kids expenses period. Fast forward several years. His son gets tossed in Juvi for a couple months. They come after my step dad for payment. He tells them of the agreement and they say because his ex didn't work she didn't have to pay anything. He explained that her husband had a job and they said it didn't matter but when they set up the amount he had to pay they sure as hell took my mom's salary into consideration

Child support...This falls into a totally different situation. The "deals" made at the divorce table are fine, however not enforceable when it comes to the kids. Child support is not money for Mom or Dad but money the children are entitled to. So when stuff hits the fan, the kids get their money from the courts and they don't care whose blood they siphon it from.
I watch allot of judge shows..Like 24/7 all the "deals" Mom and Dad made goes out the window, they really had no right to sign away the children’s rights. In the divorce the judge doesn't care..The parents are supposed to work together to make sure the needs of the children are met, the divorce decree reflects what they agreed to..All is well until one of the parents fails to do their part, then the "deal" means nothing and the courts go after whatever parent they can to care for the children.
On top of it, and your case reflects it...albeit unfair is the Mother in your case is responsible for HER children but her husband is not their father so he does not come into play. There are laws in place protecting men from paying for children not his own. The courts go after the Father and all income HE gets is considered, including his wife’s income. There is no law seperating the wife from the husbands income. Until something goes into the courts and gets fought to create precedence it won't change. The court doesn't make the laws, they just "supposedly" follow blindly.

 

[cranberry]

Correct. I live in California and I know this law well.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320657

Child support...This falls into a totally different situation. The "deals" made at the divorce table are fine, however not enforceable when it comes to the kids. Child support is not money for Mom or Dad but money the children are entitled to. So when stuff hits the fan, the kids get their money from the courts and they don't care whose blood they siphon it from.

 

[reefraff]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flower http:///forum/thread/381285/everyone-getting-divorced#post_3320657

Child support...This falls into a totally different situation. The "deals" made at the divorce table are fine, however not enforceable when it comes to the kids. Child support is not money for Mom or Dad but money the children are entitled to. So when stuff hits the fan, the kids get their money from the courts and they don't care whose blood they siphon it from.
I watch allot of judge shows..Like 24/7 all the "deals" Mom and Dad made goes out the window, they really had no right to sign away the children’s rights. In the divorce the judge doesn't care..The parents are supposed to work together to make sure the needs of the children are met, the divorce decree reflects what they agreed to..All is well until one of the parents fails to do their part, then the "deal" means nothing and the courts go after whatever parent they can to care for the children.
On top of it, and your case reflects it...albeit unfair is the Mother in your case is responsible for HER children but her husband is not their father so he does not come into play. There are laws in place protecting men from paying for children not his own. The courts go after the Father and all income HE gets is considered, including his wife’s income. There is no law seperating the wife from the husbands income. Until something goes into the courts and gets fought to create precedence it won't change. The court doesn't make the laws, they just "supposedly" follow blindly.
The point is his wife wasn't forced to pay a nickle even though she had a working spouse. California is a community property state so what's his is also her's. On the other side of the equation they figured in my mom's income to come up with the amount my stepdad would have to pay. I realize the divorce agreement isn't a insulation from these kind of issues and my stepdad could have sued the ex to get part 0f the money he had to pay back but it wasn't enough to make it worth it.

 

[reefraff]

Oh Gawd, speaking of divorce.
So my son is deployed to Afghanistan right now. I posted in another thread about the crap with he and his wife and getting calls from their creditors about their cell phone bill and car payment bills. Today the daughter in law posted pictures on facebook of the trip to Hawaii she just took.