Eye opening experience for new parent

renogaw

renogaw

Active Member
Well, my wife and i have been going back and forth about putting Kaitlyn into daycare in august. I originally was going to be a stay at home dad, and try working at night to make ends meet.
We had quite an argument about 2-3 weeks ago about how i'm not the biggest nurturer in the world, and that wifey didn't think i was going to teach our child very much, yada yada. So i said fine, put her in daycare and i'll keep working.
Well, today we went to the daycare and signed up for it. We had the tour, met the teachers, saw the programs, etc.
There's no friggin way our daughter would have grown up with any intelligence level had i stayed home. These kids are learning computers at age 3!!! there was a 4 y.o. that knew about planets in the solar system... When i was 4 i don't think i even knew there was a state other than oregon (where i grew up), let alone this whole big country, on this big continent, on a planet, in a solar system, univers... etc....
quite eye opening... cudos to the parents that can stay home and teach their kids... i'm afraid that mine would have mastered drooling...
 
nina&noah

nina&noah

Member
I'm going through the same dilema with my son and I'm a certified elementary school teacher. I think that if put in the proper environment than daycare/preschool is a positive thing. I hope I am not wrong. Leaving my baby and going back to work is going to be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
 
ice4ice

ice4ice

Active Member
Well you can blame it all on the new education standards. Today's kindergarten is not the same as kindergarten when we were kids. In kindergarten they are learning in our 1st grade level. Heck I have a niece in 5th grade learning about algebra and geometry !
This so-called "No Kids Left Behind" is a farce. Top Educators are expecting too much from these kids nowadays and not letting them be just that ... kids.
No wonder kids nowadays are struggling ...
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Yeah, I kinda think for kids to know how to run a computer at age 3 is a little bit of an overload for a child.
When the IEP (individual education plan) for my autistic kid was being drawn up, they wanted my "goals"
I wanted my (at the time 3 year old) boy to learn to say please and thank you. Leanr how to use a spoon and put his own seatbelt on etc...
They were more concerned with ABC and 123.
He's friggin autistic! He's 6 years old and still can't count to 3.
I think kids need to learn and practice the basics. So many kids these days are treated like little adults and are therefore BRATS!
So what, your kid can count, he never says thank you!
Now my daughter can use the computer and she's 4. But she learned at her own pace of her own free will. She can count and spell her name and she knows her phone #, she's a typical kid.
Daycare is great for parents that need to work, but if you have the choice to stay home with a child, I think what's important at that age, gets instilled a little stronger.
JMHO.
 
scotts

scotts

Active Member
Unfortunately I think your "not-the-best-nurturing" thing is the normal point of view for guys in this world.
I know some guys who feel it is their responsibility to show their kids how to play ball and drink a beer at the barbaque. Also how to watch all 3 hours of a ball game. I know I know not all guys are like that, but sometimes you have to put your man-card on the shelf and read a book to your kid.
 
renogaw

renogaw

Active Member
oh, don't get me wrong. i read to her every night, i sing to her, i talk to her through her bottles, i almost never even turn on the tv when i have her, etc.
its just that when she cries, i sometimes cry back at her lol, and i get frustrated when i can't get her to calm down, and my wife was big time scared that i had no clue about WHAT she needs to learn...
so...
 
m0nk

m0nk

Active Member
Well, I can hopefully speak to both interesting points here. As far as nurturing goes, it's something you learn as a guy, while most women are born with it. I've been a single dad for over 2 1/2 years and can say that when it comes to the nurturing thing, these days I've got the ex-wife beat just because I had to learn it and fast. She was a stay at home mom and I worked, sometimes long hours, but when things went wrong, I made sure that my son had the healthiest living environment (without getting into too much detail about why...though I may have posted it once before on here) and I had to learn how to deal with an 18 month old son as both a dad and mom would.
Of course, in that situation, I learned about the other point, that daycare is a positive thing if it's done "right". The daycare I take my son to (and have since he was 18 months) treats it like a school in a way. He does learn things there that I don't think I could ever have taught him on my own. But I think the overall more positive aspect is a structure "play" environment, where they learn those important social skills without us having to make "play-dates" and such.
 
scotts

scotts

Active Member
I was thinking about what I posted and realized that it souinded too harsh. I was really talking about one specific POS that I know.
But I think it dads will say "I don't know how to _______, but She does." Or else "I can do ______ but mamma does it so much better" Well it is not that mamma knows how to do it better right away, it is just she learned what works and what does not work with the kid.
Sorry getting preachy, and what I said is not directed at you, just trying so say what I have seen.
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
I dunno, I want to raise my own kid not have someone who makes 7 bucks an hour make sure my kid doesn't get beat up while playing with a bunch of other crumb crunchers.
 
reefreak29

reefreak29

Active Member
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/2650617
I dunno, I want to raise my own kid not have someone who makes 7 bucks an hour make sure my kid doesn't get beat up while playing with a bunch of other crumb crunchers.
yep I have to agree we took a 45000 dollar a year cut to raise are own kids. its a sacrifice. I didnt think that even exsisted anymore
 
T

tizzo

Guest
My hubby took a 30000 dollar a year cut to spend more time with the family.
Now, I hafta get a job.

Go figure.
How much do I hafta make to cover daycare for 2 kids? One with special needs.
 
renogaw

renogaw

Active Member
Originally Posted by stdreb27
http:///forum/post/2650617
I dunno, I want to raise my own kid not have someone who makes 7 bucks an hour make sure my kid doesn't get beat up while playing with a bunch of other crumb crunchers.
lol luckily day care is a state regulated/educated profession in CT and they are paid handsomly...
we're looking at $270 a week....................................
 
nina&noah

nina&noah

Member
I think the key is to look for a quality program. The school I am looking at is based on the Reggio Emilio philosophy which puts the child in charge of their own discoveries. The kids aren't in a traditional pen and paper setting. They are constantly manipulating and discovering things. It was really amazing. All of this comes at a price though...$900 a month!
I'm struggling with the "someone else raising my kid" scenario as well. I guess it really depends on how long your work day would be. It makes me sad to see kids go into daycare at 8 a.m. and not leave until 7 p.m. Mine would be dropped off by his daddy at 9 a.m. and I would pick him up at 3:30.
Also, do you feel like you want to go back to work? That plays a big part in the decision as well. If you feel the need to get out of the house, than it might be something you need to do in order to be a better parent.
 
bdhutier

bdhutier

Member
I didn't read all the posts, reno, but I'd say reconsider. I'm not sure where the mentality originated where kids have to be doing calculus by age 7 or they'll be failures comes from, but I don't buy it. Before "school age," your kiddo will benefit far more from a loving home, and will have the confidence to tackle school. She will still be smart, and still learn, and still function well as an adult... don't sweat it.
Kudos to you for wanting to be a stay at home dad, reno. Doing so will not fail your daughter, it will boost her later on in life. Ever notice how the prevalence "ADD" and other learning difficulties have increased along side daycare enrollment?
I always looked at it this way... why PAY someone not to care about your kid if you don't have to? There are millions of people out there who will do that for free. Some parents legitimately have to put their kids in daycare, but I believe most do it out of selfishness (new boat, maintain a standard of living that benefits them, not their kids, etc.).
 
armywife1314

armywife1314

Member
you know how crappy the military is paid and im a stay at home mom, we decided that once our son is school age then i will go back to work, until then show him how to act, hes 2 and says please and thank you, when going to walk across the street looks both ways and if a car stops for us waves in appreciation. holds doors open for me all the gentlemen stuff. i have the planets up in his room so when hes ready he'll ask and ill tell him about them. kids learn the best by example IMO. and i agree with bd that most do it out of selfishness. let them play and show them how to behave before some bad kid comes along and terrorizes her and shows her how to be bad. i was on the computer at 3 played piano by 5 graduated high school at 16, but my brothers are nowhere near that its a purely individual thing how they learn and how fast is them when they're ready to start learning you'll know and just be prepared to teach them.
 
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