Funny for today ~ Mother of Bride

spiderwoman

spiderwoman

Active Member
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement -- not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed mother- of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer asked her to exchange it, but she refused.
'Absolutely not, I look like a million bucks in this dress and I'm wearing it,' she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, 'Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother,
'Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it. Her mother just smiled and replied,
'Of course I do, dear, I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'
 
scotts

scotts

Active Member
I hate to admit that I find that funny. So that means I have to tell a guy joke, so I can feel somewhat macho.
Two older guys were teeing off on the first hole one morning. A funeral precession passes by the golf course and one guy took off hit hat and held it over his heart while it passed by. The other guy said "That was nice of you". The first guy says, "Well we were married for 37 years."
 
spanko

spanko

Active Member
THE BURNED OUT GYN----OGIST
A gyn----ogist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic.
He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, 'I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding resu lt, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?'
The instructor said, 'During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark.'
The instructor went on to say, 'I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.
 
kingsmith

kingsmith

Member
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2787567
THE BURNED OUT GYN----OGIST
A gyn----ogist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic.
He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, 'I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding resu lt, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?'
The instructor said, 'During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark.'
The instructor went on to say, 'I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.

TOUGH CROWD
 
spiderwoman

spiderwoman

Active Member
Originally Posted by spanko
http:///forum/post/2787567
THE BURNED OUT GYN----OGIST
A gyn----ogist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and became an auto mechanic.
He found out from the local technical college what was involved, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently and learned all he could.
When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.
Fearing an error, he called the instructor saying, 'I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding resu lt, but I wondered if there has been an error that needs adjusting?'
The instructor said, 'During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly which is also worth 50% of the mark.'
The instructor went on to say, 'I gave you an extra 50% because you did all of it through the muffler.
 
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