Originally Posted by
T316
http:///forum/post/2845014
Help... So I have a 13 year old son who is having a lot of difficulty with school and the overall ability to reason (that's putting it mildly). It's not the work, because he get's it. He has the ability to make straight A's and B's, he just chooses not to. He has always been a little introverted and hangs out with a small group of friends. We have always had challenges getting him to do his school work, but we have reached a new level of cluelessness that is about to give me an aneurysm.
He is basically failing two classes, English and History. The main reason is because he is not turning in his class work or homework. He's completing it, but not turning it in. Why? He always has some off the wall answer like, "I forgot" or "it was late so I figured she wouldn't accept it by then". We have had conferences with the teachers recently, and they comment on how 'capable' he is, but he just isn't applying himself. We have taken away his computer, iPod, TV, letting him know how he can earn them all back. There's nothing else to take away. Football season is over, otherwise I'd pull him from the team.
So now, not two weeks after having met with the teachers and getting back on track, I get an email from a teacher advising that he has accumulated another batch of 0's on homework and classwork that has not been turned in.
I also recently find out, from another source, that he has a big group project due next week (ahhhh, when were you going to tell me this?). So we rush to set up for his two buddies to come spend the night this upcoming weekend to work on the group project, only to find out that one of his buddies can't come now due to getting in trouble yesterday for setting off stink bombs in the hallway....
Faculty thought it was something malfunctioning with the air unit and called in a bunch of pro's (of course my son was right there in the thick of it...but not the one that did it, so he's not in trouble).
I mean seriously, something is missing here. We love him, have faith in him, and know that he can do it, but it's like I need to hook up jumper cables and my truck battery to the neurons in his brain to get some activity. We have questioned whether to just hold him back, maybe he's just not mature enough for the 8th grade. My wife is constantly having to monitor his work every night, and we have two other kids that need time/help too, but our 13 yr. old is draining it all.
I would love any insight or recommendations here. I don't know what else to do. Should I hold him back and hope that the embarrassment will make him wake up? Just ride it out and hope for the best? Do we give him everything back and give him just enough rope to hang himself and earn his way back to the 8th grade? Maybe lock him in a room and make him read cowfishrule threads all day...
Am I overreacting? I don't think I am because if we do nothing, he fails, and my other two kids would think that it's okay.
It's called being a hormone-raging 13 year old. After reading your first paragraph, I could insert my 13 year old daughter in his place and post the identical thread. Honestly I think it has to do with his intelligence level. My older daughter did the same thing when she was in middle school. She's now a junior in high school and is doing fine. All you can do is continue to give him encouragement, and advise him that what he does in middle school will affect what classes he can take in high school. If he wants to take Honors and AP courses in high school, he has to have A's and B's in middle school, otherwise they won't allow him to take those classes. Sooner or later he will 'get it'.
wants the keys now but I found that yelling and screaming just made me horse so hit em where they want to be I made an honest arrangement with my son I would pay him weekly for his grades as if it was a job I can track his grades online. so it basically went like this A=$10, B=$8, C=$5, D and F= $0 so with 6 classes he had the ability to make up to $60 a week. Also to back this all I bought were necessities, nike wnt out the window and hello pro-wings, got the old B/W tv out the garage and put it in his room, phone poof, etc. left the video games that is motivating because they always want new games and for him it was music so the stereo I bought went in my daughters room. So until he got it right he had to clothe and entertain himself on his dime not mine now it is just a regular ritual he comes to me now 3 years later and ask did you see my grades (we stopped the payment treatment about 6 months ago) he now does it for himself 
