how do i ask a girl out?

jtt

jtt

Member
Im 22, shes 28, shes incredibly smart, shes got a doctorate, but socially awkward, I really like hangin out with her, but we have never hung out one on one, just always in groups with other people.
I cant get up the gumption to ask her out... because I dont really know how to... like... ask her. Its been years since my last relationship, and that was senior year in high school, so its not even a "real" relationship. Any ideas? tips?
so yeah, I have never REALLY had a "real" relationship.
Im pathetic, I know.
 
-tara33-

-tara33-

Member
your not pathetic , just be yourself and be charming thats good too, and if it dosnt work out then thats her loss.
 
lkgrenegade22

lkgrenegade22

Member
Just take a deep breath and ask her out for dinner. She can only say no, and even if she did as long as you ask her in a polite way it should not affect anything. Just quit thinking about it and go for it.
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by JTT
http:///forum/post/2846039
Im 22, shes 28, shes incredibly smart, shes got a doctorate, but socially awkward, I really like hangin out with her, but we have never hung out one on one, just always in groups with other people.
I cant get up the gumption to ask her out... because I dont really know how to... like... ask her. Its been years since my last relationship, and that was senior year in high school, so its not even a "real" relationship. Any ideas? tips?
so yeah, I have never REALLY had a "real" relationship.
Im pathetic, I know.
Here's what I'd do... its really easy and disarming..
Hang out in a group with her then get into a serious conversation and throw out that "man we ought to get coffee sometime and chill, you're really worthwhile to talk to" etc... Its not hard man... there's no way she'd be like "oh hell no, I hate you" in that situation. Or another sucker thing LOL... you may be out like $30 though trying this...
Find out what bands she likes.. buy two tickets, hang out with her in a group.. pull that whole "man I bought two tickets and my friend backed out on me and I'm left with this other ticket...wait.. hey don't you like so and so? why don't you come with me?"
You're going to have to go really slow because unless she already has the cougar mentality, she might not be comfortable with dating someone 6 years younger unless you build the rapport with her and make hanging out with you her favorite thing... you may have to do the friends --->good friends --->dating friends thing..
Remember, you're selling yourself and never act desperate but never cocky. See with the above two things, she HAS to give her number without you directly asking "can I get your number?"
 
mboswell1982

mboswell1982

Active Member
dude, just, well, i know its hard as all get out, but, just ask her, it was the best thing i ever did with my gf, and now, well, we're plannin on gettin married as soon as we buy a house
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
she's 6 years older than him... unless already a cougar, he's gotta be slick about it. What's her doctorate in? what are the other specifics? does she have kids? etc.. etc..
 
mboswell1982

mboswell1982

Active Member
good point, good point, ive done the whole cougar thing, not all that fun to be honest, but, then, 6 years was a drop in the bucket compared to our age difference LOL
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by mboswell1982
http:///forum/post/2846050
good point, good point, ive done the whole cougar thing, not all that fun to be honest, but, then, 6 years was a drop in the bucket compared to our age difference LOL
ha... I dunno about you, but I call a recently divorced coug' short term financial stability. hahaha.
 
mboswell1982

mboswell1982

Active Member
hey, it works, but mine wasnt recently divorced, she was still married, and a lil over twice as old as i was LOL
she was my sugar momma for about 6 months LOL
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
....what??
working is overrated, why not use someone else's financial stability... isn't that what Obama is all about anyway? spread that wealth lol..
 
jtt

jtt

Member
She has a doctorate in theology, a masters of divinity, and a bachelors of theology. i too am about to finish my bachelors in theology, and then will be going for a masters short after. in short, we are christians, that are very educated as such. i kept this out of the discussion because i didnt want to turn this into a religious debate (which i have seen happen a lot on the forums) and i would prefer to keep this thread from going that way.
So, i once started a conversation with her developing the trinitarian theology of pastoral ministry relating to broken relationships, fear and death. it was a great discussion however she really went off on it and i couldnt keep up due to the fact that she has 2 way more advanced degrees than i do. its quite difficult to get into very deep discussions because it goes way too far too fast to a point that i can no longer understand what we are talking about. however, those discussions are the ones that keep me up at night thinking about her and how amazing she is that she has acquired so much knowledge and can clearly communicate so easily.
I have a friend who is so amazingly intelligent but when you ask him a question, he rattles off everything he knows without stopping to think of the relevance of it. like if i were to ask him the definition of the word, oh i dunno, Salinity (since its something we talk about here) he would ramble through the dictionary in his head starting with A and working his way to S for Salinity, simply because he has so much knowledge.
She has acquired such brain power, but can manage it in a way that leaves me speechless.
 
fish4rudy

fish4rudy

Member
I would just be honest with her and say " I am so nervous about tasking you , but I really would enjoy taking you to dinner" You need to man-up and pull the trigger. Best of luck. Remember, you only live once.
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by JTT
http:///forum/post/2846065
She has a doctorate in theology, a masters of divinity, and a bachelors of theology. i too am about to finish my bachelors in theology, and then will be going for a masters short after. in short, we are christians, that are very educated as such. i kept this out of the discussion because i didnt want to turn this into a religious debate (which i have seen happen a lot on the forums) and i would prefer to keep this thread from going that way.
So, i once started a conversation with her developing the trinitarian theology of pastoral ministry relating to broken relationships, fear and death. it was a great discussion however she really went off on it and i couldnt keep up due to the fact that she has 2 way more advanced degrees than i do. its quite difficult to get into very deep discussions because it goes way too far too fast to a point that i can no longer understand what we are talking about. however, those discussions are the ones that keep me up at night thinking about her and how amazing she is that she has acquired so much knowledge and can clearly communicate so easily.
I have a friend who is so amazingly intelligent but when you ask him a question, he rattles off everything he knows without stopping to think of the relevance of it. like if i were to ask him the definition of the word, oh i dunno, Salinity (since its something we talk about here) he would ramble through the dictionary in his head starting with A and working his way to S for Salinity, simply because he has so much knowledge.
She has acquired such brain power, but can manage it in a way that leaves me speechless.

nvm... I can't offer any advice to those trying to live these religiously "pure" lives... I can't/don't want to relate to this.
Now the whole Huckabee 2012 thing makes sense... eek.. I'll leave it at..
Good luck with your theology and christianity and this girl. I dunno how a religiously educated Christian goes about asking out another one. I'm out.
 
jtt

jtt

Member
Originally Posted by Rotarymagic
http:///forum/post/2846068
I dunno how a religiously educated Christian goes about asking out another one. I'm out.
the same way normal people do? which is why i asked the question and left that part out. its not like we are people that walk around with our bibles like the crazy lady in that movie "the mist"
just lookin for some girl advice...
 
fishfreak1242

fishfreak1242

Active Member
Heres what you do. You be extremely quiet and don't say a thing whenever your around your group or whatever. That way, people don't realize your there, and then will eventually notice you and be like "Whoa, where did you come from?" and then you can start up a conversation from there. Thats how I always meet new people.
 
rotarymagic

rotarymagic

Active Member
Originally Posted by JTT
http:///forum/post/2846070
the same way normal people do? which is why i asked the question and left that part out. its not like we are people that walk around with our bibles like the crazy lady in that movie "the mist"
just lookin for some girl advice...
well then like I said... you're gonna have to combat the age difference slowly...
Do the things I said before... since you're both into the same thing... buy tickets to some christian band and you're good to go... same thing "friend flaked, don't you like christian music? wanna go?"
The coffee thing works well too... remember you're already interested in what she has to say, so its not like you're lying.
That whole "wanna go to dinner" thing is lame... definitely a good way to get laughed at these days... that may have worked in the 1950s, but that's not how its done now. I don't know about you, but if you start a relationship based on eating food... it'll only get worse lol... and you know exactly what I mean by that.
You need to be a good talker man, sell yourself. Never desperate, never cocky. If you sit there and stutter or don't say anything she'll have no interest in you. The whole concert thing works too because if you decided to go get drinks after or during... you could use the whole "I'm too drunk to drive home thing.." get a cab, hit up the hotel... yeah..try it before you buy it (a ring!)
hahaha
She's got a "doctorate" in this sort of thing, people have egos... stroke hers.. she didn't go to school for so many years to just keep quiet about it.. people like to talk about what they're passionate about so let her talk.. give the whole "that's awesome.. wow I'm so glad that you're so dedicated and learned on the matter" "It's refreshing to find people so educated on this sort of thing" etc etc... man just roll with it. You made this thing sound way harder than it is... you have the common connection. get in there and be slick and leave your headgear and sweater at home.. (I'm kidding, nerd joke.)
 
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