How in the world, do women with kids, work?

T

tizzo

Guest
I took on a part time job this past August. I figured, the kids are in school and now's a good time. Let me stress that I am not doing it for the money. I am keeping, and saving all that I earn, even though it's not much.
Anyway, I was working 2 days a week. 10-6. Then one of the three of us, quits. So I have the brilliant idea to offer to work every day but only til 4, as that's when the rugrats get outa school.
As it stands, I am behind on dentist appts, eye appts, laundry and housework.
I keep up minimally with the homework assignments and haven't cooked a 3 course dinner in forever.
My relief was gonna be summer time.
I don't HAVE to work, so that really helps me mentally.
But I have a whole new respect for women who work and take care of a family... And don't even get me thinking about the single ones!
This is tough for me, I can't imagine how it is for some others...
 
sepulatian

sepulatian

Moderator
You have little kids and one with special needs correct? That makes it tougher. I am a single mother and work two jobs. My son is 13 so he does help out, although reluctantly sometimes. It isn't the easiest thing, but I manage.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
My 14 year old is a Godsend! without him, I don't know what I'd do!
He watches the younger ones til I get home. This evening was 6:30, since I had errands.
There's only 2 of us where I work so taking a day off really puts the other in a bind. I need to get my oldest to an ortho appt... sheesh! So little time huh?
 
nw2salt08

nw2salt08

Active Member
It's definitely not easy. I had to put myself through welding school and work full time when it was just my son and me. I didn't get to see my son much except for the weekends. But, spent a lot of time with him then. It's not easy....schedules and all. We all manage somehow. If it weren't for my parents I wouldn't be where I am today. Thank God for their support.
 
sepulatian

sepulatian

Moderator
Originally Posted by Tizzo
http:///forum/post/2949194
My 14 year old is a Godsend! without him, I don't know what I'd do!
He watches the younger ones til I get home. This evening was 6:30, since I had errands.
There's only 2 of us where I work so taking a day off really puts the other in a bind. I need to get my oldest to an ortho appt... sheesh! So little time huh?
Yeah, so little time is right. Fortunately I do have paid time at the school so I can just call out if something needs to be done. On the days that I work both jobs I don't get home until 8:30 PM. Those days are tough. I usually get my days off from the second job during the week. It just makes life easier. Unfortunately, that means that I don't have any full days off though because I work the weekends.
 
teresaq

teresaq

Active Member
I worked full time until my daughter was almost 2 and my son was 4. It was hard, I worked days and My husband worked nights. Luckly I had an employer that didnt mind hubby dropping off the kids for a half an hour until it was time for me to go home. I just couldnt take it anymore so I quit.
T
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Originally Posted by ruaround
http:///forum/post/2949220
ummm... what about the guys that have kids that work??? way to stereo type there Tizzo...

Well, it's a guy's JOB. I mean, didn't you read the other thread??
I'm kidding.
But what I meant was, a "normal" functioning family, has a bread winner, usually the guy, and a home care taker, usually the female.
I guy in that scenario works, but that's all he does. His clothes are clean his food is made, etc...
A female who opts to work (in that scenario) does so, adding to her home responsibiities.
 
tangman99

tangman99

Active Member
Originally Posted by Tizzo
http:///forum/post/2949236
Well, it's a guy's JOB. I mean, didn't you read the other thread??
I'm kidding.
But what I meant was, a "normal" functioning family, has a bread winner, usually the guy, and a home care taker, usually the female.
I guy in that scenario works, but that's all he does. His clothes are clean his food is made, etc...
A female who opts to work (in that scenario) does so, adding to her home responsibiities.
Well this explains a lot. Read what you wrote carefully above and you will see your problem.
 
nina&noah

nina&noah

Member
In traditional two parent families, the woman is expected to do laundry, cook, clean, buy groceries, take kids to activities, take care of the kids everyday needs, and hold a full time job. The man is expected to go to work. Our society considers stay at home parents to be lazy, and spoiled.
I went back to work in August because that was what was expected of me. I didn't want to, but that is just what woman today do. As it was, I was lucky to stay home with my son for 14 months. Well I made it 3 miserable months, and I ached for my baby every day. I hated being away from him and eventually I quit. So now I am looked at as one of those spoiled lazy moms. Even though anyone who spends a day with a 20 month old will tell you that being lazy is not an option.
I really don't think that anyone is capable of doing everything well. As an educator, I can tell you that alot of the time its the kids who suffer the consequences.
 
alyssia

alyssia

Active Member
Originally Posted by nina&noah
http:///forum/post/2949467
In traditional two parent families, the woman is expected to do laundry, cook, clean, buy groceries, take kids to activities, take care of the kids everyday needs, and hold a full time job. The man is expected to go to work. Our society considers stay at home parents to be lazy, and spoiled.
I went back to work in August because that was what was expected of me. I didn't want to, but that is just what woman today do. As it was, I was lucky to stay home with my son for 14 months. Well I made it 3 miserable months, and I ached for my baby every day. I hated being away from him and eventually I quit. So now I am looked at as one of those spoiled lazy moms. Even though anyone who spends a day with a 20 month old will tell you that being lazy is not an option.
I really don't think that anyone is capable of doing everything well. As an educator, I can tell you that alot of the time its the kids who suffer the consequences.

I know what you mean about being viewed as the "spoiled" mother now. I get SO TIRED of defending myself because I stay at home. Why would I choose to give my kids to someone else to raise if I can afford to stay home?
 
t316

t316

Active Member
We have 3 kids...6, 11, and 13. We both work fulltime, and I just want to take this opportunity to tell my wife... Thank You....

She is a multi-tasker that keeps it all together. I joke with the 'mancard' thing occassionally, but she is the bomb. She still handles Dr's appt's, I do Dentist, she does 3+ course dinners, I do...?, she does laundry, I do...?, she does homework, I do...?
Thanks for reminding me what I am grateful for although I don't show appreciation enough. She's wiped out for tonight, but I will tell her in the morning...
 
turningtim

turningtim

Active Member
Try staying home and being a man! Talk about LAZY! I have 2 kids 10, 7 I have no idea how anyone can work full time and take care of the kids. Kudos to you and all single parents!
I have tried several times to work. And everytime I think I have the time but so much at the house suffers, including the kids. So now my contribution is saving us as much cash as possible. Buying stuff off C-list, coupon clipping (Grocery Game) and trying to do everything myself.
Again single parents and both parents that work, GOOD JOB!
 
teresaq

teresaq

Active Member
Originally Posted by alyssia
http:///forum/post/2949475
I know what you mean about being viewed as the "spoiled" mother now. I get SO TIRED of defending myself because I stay at home. Why would I choose to give my kids to someone else to raise if I can afford to stay home?
Amen sister
That was one of the deciding factors when I quit. Why would I want to work just to pay day care to take care of my kids. I spent too many yrs trying to have children. I dont know how I would ever be able to work anyway. With 4 kids, laundry, house, dinner, take the kids to school, pick the kids up from school, doc aptmnts - I work more now then when I worked. hehe
T
 
zoie2

zoie2

Active Member
I was lucky to have a stay at home Mum. I always said I would do the same for my kids. When I met my husband his mother had a home daycare. I started working as her assistant. She also was an adult foster home for the mentally disabled.
When we got married we started taking in mentally disabled adults as well. It's a great job and I love it! We have 3 that live with us. They go to a day program which is the same as school hours. I get to stay home and work. I still have to do their Dr. apts, their laundry, their meals and get 2 of them ready for the bus (the other one takes care of herself).
I recently opened my own home daycare and have 6 kids. (none of my own). This is also a great way to stay at home and work! (and believe me it's work!) But tons of fun!!
I can't imagine having to do all I do and work outside the house. My house would be trashed, there would be no food in the frige, and no one would have clean clothes.
 
jennythebugg

jennythebugg

Active Member
Originally Posted by Tizzo
http:///forum/post/2949167
I took on a part time job this past August. I figured, the kids are in school and now's a good time. Let me stress that I am not doing it for the money. I am keeping, and saving all that I earn, even though it's not much.
Anyway, I was working 2 days a week. 10-6. Then one of the three of us, quits. So I have the brilliant idea to offer to work every day but only til 4, as that's when the rugrats get outa school.
As it stands, I am behind on dentist appts, eye appts, laundry and housework.
I keep up minimally with the homework assignments and haven't cooked a 3 course dinner in forever.
My relief was gonna be summer time.
I don't HAVE to work, so that really helps me mentally.
But I have a whole new respect for women who work and take care of a family... And don't even get me thinking about the single ones!
This is tough for me, I can't imagine how it is for some others...
i find that things get put on hold , ive been behind on everything for so long....
 
shyfish

shyfish

Member
Hi,
My 2 cents...
I always worked, my husband worked sometimes. The last 18 years more than the first 12. He was a bad boy partier back in the day.
Anyway. If he worked that’s all he did. He would come home, put up his feet, ate his dinner and watched TV.
I worked, cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked the food and took care of the kids when I got home after picking them up from the sitters. Whew!!!
On those many occasions when my hubby was out of work. He watched the children (3) while I worked. He did not do a dish, not one drop of laundry and didn't even bath the children. Unless it was payday. He had everything done on payday so he could get money from me to go party. When I walked into the door he would hand me the baby and declare himself off for the day. Then he would wait for me to cook his dinner!
My point is this... When a woman works she still has the home to care for. Her "duties" do not diminish one bit. If she can't do it, it won't get done, period.
A man works, that's it, and if he does a dish he expects kudos big time. If he watches the children, he watches them and TV but does nothing else. He does the "man" stuff, trash duty or tinker with the car once in a blue moon.
Yes I know it’s a new century... Every young woman I talk to ,complains because hubby won't do his fair share. It a constant augment just to take out the trash or put the lid down on a toilet. So the CHILDREN won't fall in.

After 33 years I finally get to vent!!! I know this does not pertain to every man out there. But I couldn't help but notice that the beginning thread said she didn't have time to do it all. It is the doing it all that got to me.
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member

Originally Posted by Shyfish
http:///forum/post/2949912
Hi,
My 2 cents...
I always worked, my husband worked sometimes. The last 18 years more than the first 12. He was a bad boy partier back in the day.
Anyway. If he worked that’s all he did. He would come home, put up his feet, ate his dinner and watched TV.
I worked, cleaned the house, did the laundry, cooked the food and took care of the kids when I got home after picking them up from the sitters. Whew!!!
On those many occasions when my hubby was out of work. He watched the children (3) while I worked. He did not do a dish, not one drop of laundry and didn't even bath the children. Unless it was payday. He had everything done on payday so he could get money from me to go party. When I walked into the door he would hand me the baby and declare himself off for the day. Then he would wait for me to cook his dinner!
My point is this... When a woman works she still has the home to care for. Her "duties" do not diminish one bit. If she can't do it, it won't get done, period.
A man works, that's it, and if he does a dish he expects kudos big time. If he watches the children, he watches them and TV but does nothing else. He does the "man" stuff, trash duty or tinker with the car once in a blue moon.
Yes I know it’s a new century... Every young woman I talk to ,complains because hubby won't do his fair share. It a constant augment just to take out the trash or put the lid down on a toilet. So the CHILDREN won't fall in.

After 33 years I finally get to vent!!! I know this does not pertain to every man out there. But I couldn't help but notice that the beginning thread said she didn't have time to do it all. It is the doing it all that got to me.

Not to be mean, but, You stayed with this guy why........................
 
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