I need advice please help

[briant0625]

I took a girl out on a date see is great really cool great personality and we get along very well, but I am not physically attracted to her I wish I was. I mean she is not ugly but I am just not physically attracted I am going out with her again in a few hours. I have spoke to alot of friends and family about this but I would like a strangers aspect on this. Please help me I need advice I am 31 and trying to get on with my life after having a broken heart. Thanks
Brian

 

[imurnamine]

Just because she isn't Playboy material doesn't mean she isn't a beautiful person on the inside.
She probably doesn't think you're that hott either.

 

[123]

Just something to think about is that looks are only for a season. Personality is for life.

 

[briant0625]

damn thanks for making me feel so good about myself. I never said she wasn't beautiful on the inside infact i said the oppisite. my question was about physical attraction and importantce, but thanks for the help!

 

[millerman]

great one imurnamine (LOL)
wow so how do you know it is a date did you say it was, she say it was, or are you just going out together.

 

[lion_crazz]

Originally Posted by ImUrNamine
She probably doesn't think you're that hott either.
That was kinda mean, Emily. The guy is trying to recover from a heart-breaking relationship he just got out of. The last thing he needs is to feel worse about himself. It does not sound like he is just looking for someone hot.
Brian, is this the first person you have dated since getting out of your last relationship? How long has it been since you got out of that last relationship?

 

[imurnamine]

Well I am sorry for his heartbreak, but from his post it seemed like he was more concerned with the fact she isn't a bombshell.
Excuse my assumptions.
I just don't understand EVER letting someone's looks make an impression on who they are. ESPECIALLY questioning a relationship with that person.

 

[demartini]

imo it's not going to work. You have to be some what physically attracted to the person you are dating. I have been in that situation before, and the guy is now my best friend…it seems that the way she looks is bugging you. If you have that much doubt then don’t dwell into it a relationship with her... what if you change your mind because you realized that you really aren’t attracted to her? You both could get hurt in the end. With that said do what makes you feel happy and comfortable.

 

[briant0625]

I have been out of my last relationship for over a year now and i have had some dates since nothing really too serious. Yes this is a date and I don't care about the bomb shell thing thank you very much but I do believe there should be some kind of physical attraction, Am I brad pit absolutley not I am average myself but I wanted to know how others handeled this type of situation maybe they know something I don't. So if you want to jump down my throat and assume something about me that isn't true then I don't need your help. to the others thank you all I was asking for was advice.

 

[briant0625]

I certinly don't want to lead her on or hurt her because I really do like her and she is very nice I wish I was attracted but Like I said she isn't ugly and this is our second time out I hope it does work. I don't want to hurt her or laed her on she is way to nice and doesn't deserve that.

 

[demartini]

Originally Posted by briant0625
I certinly don't want to lead her on or hurt her because I really do like her and she is very nice I wish I was attracted but Like I said she isn't ugly and this is our second time out I hope it does work. I don't want to hurt her or laed her on she is way to nice and doesn't deserve that.
she sounds like she could be a great FRIEND for you.

 

[dragonladylea]

I used to date the "beautiful" people, everyone always said I dated the best looking guys - married one of them, was divorced 3 years later and after a year reluctantly let my friend fix me up with a blind date she said was perfect for me. When he walked in the room my thought was "OMG he is supposed to be perfect for me. yeah right" Goes to show she was less shallow than I was and she happened to be right. The blind date and I have been happily together for 15 years. Physical attraction fades, love and respect can last a lifetime. There must be something about her you like or you wouldnt be going out again.

 

[briant0625]

Thank you dragonlady that is what I was looking for. Thank you very much I like to hear things like that it does give hope

 

[dragonladylea]

Brian just keep an open mind go out with her a few times and see where it leads, you might be surprised that she actually gets more beautiful everyday.
If it doesnt go any further you've at least made a friend. Best wishes.

 

[briant0625]

thank you I hope you have many more years ahead of you.
Brian

 

[briant0625]

heading out thanks everyone for all your help.

 

[augie]

Originally Posted by DeMartini
imo it's not going to work. You have to be some what physically attracted to the person you are dating. I have been in that situation before, and the guy is now my best friend…it seems that the way she looks is bugging you. If you have that much doubt then don’t dwell into it a relationship with her... what if you change your mind because you realized that you really aren’t attracted to her? You both could get hurt in the end. With that said do what makes you feel happy and comfortable.
Well said Demartini!!!!!!

 

[jmick]

I'd be friends with her but if I'm not attracted to her then I would not look for more...what's the point?

 

[millerman]

just because there is no attraction now does not mean that there will not be one in the future..you may never know until you miss that one thing that she says or does

 

[jon321]

Originally Posted by briant0625
I took a girl out on a date see is great really cool great personality and we get along very well, but I am not physically attracted to her I wish I was. I mean she is not ugly but I am just not physically attracted I am going out with her again in a few hours. I have spoke to alot of friends and family about this but I would like a strangers aspect on this. Please help me I need advice I am 31 and trying to get on with my life after having a broken heart. Thanks
Brian
Ive been there. After a heartbreak I honstly think you subconciously dont find anyone attractive that you actually have feelings for because you subconsciously dont want to have feelings for them adn therefore they cant hurt you. Give it some time and dont go "hopping bases" and things will become more clear.
just my $0.02
Jon