I need to vent.

salt life

salt life

Active Member
I know you guys don't really know me but im sure you don't mind when people vent..
Here is the problem. My sister and her boyfriend live with us, she us 20 and he is 23. They are so immature it is ridiculous and they have like no respect. Im the younger kid at 17 and I have the most responsibility. My mom is always asking me to do stuff and never my sister or her bf. It is always me, When my mom does ask my sister she gets pissy so my mom just asks me, which is crap and it agrivates me. When I defend myself with my mom she makes it like im in the wrong and I just complain but cleaning up after my sister and her bf and my sisters dog is getting so old and I try not to get mad and scream or something at my mom but when I hold back I just get more angry. My sister always says yeahh they ask you to do alot, but she never helps out when they hear them asking me to do something, like wth? I understand my mom needs help she just had both hips replaced within the last 6 months and she can walk now and is starting to do more on her own but she still asks me to do everything and gets so pissy about it and makes dumb comments, which doesn't help. Idk if i take it the wrong way because I know she is stressed out, but atleast my sister and her bf just annoy the crap out of me and it is repetitive crap. They can't put stuff away or wash their own dishes like they aren't 2 years old. Any advice? I know some of you are parents and maybe deal with the same stuff? Thanks for any advice and listening to me vent.
 
maryg

maryg

Member
At their age they are more than capable to clean up after themselves. It they are "mature" enough to live together then they should act like it. I don't know the situation but it seems like she might be a little spoiled and as long as people can get away with taking advantage of you they they will continue. Your mom might still be weak from her surgery and since you are the "helpful one" who is always there to help without complaint, that might be the reason you are always called on. Speak to your mother about your feelings. You are old enough now to voice a muture opinion.
Good luck
 
sigmachris

sigmachris

Active Member
Tough spot, but here is my 2 cents.
Help your Mom out as much as possible during her rehab.
As for the sister and BF, take an equal stance with them. You are their equals they aren't superior. Don't pick up their dog's poop or their mess. Leave post it notes on the door reminding them to pick it up or just plainly tell them to do it, don't ask them but tell them.
As for dishes and other stuff...when this happened with college room mates I would clean up my dishes. When their stuff started piling up I would put all of the dirty dishes in a plastic bin and place it in their room. There is no reason for you to clean up after them and no reason for you to have to live in their filth.
I know its not much advice but just because your are 17 and the little sister doesn't mean you don't deserve respect or have leverage in the household. If they give you grief, plainly state you are sick of cleaning up after them. If they want to live like pigs suggest they move out on their own and they can keep their house how they want it.
Good luck,
Chris
 
salt life

salt life

Active Member
Thanks for the advice. Im the little bro by the way. lol..
I've talked to my mom but she just gets agrivated and says im the only one who helps so she asks me. Which I understand but im still a kid and I want to be able to be a kid. Her bf goes to work before I wake up and doesn't have the courtesy to just pick up what is there or walk the dogs, like it's such a hard thing to do. They always blame my dog for the mess and act like their dog doesn't do anything. I have told my sister and her bf to help out and my sister tells me to stfu and her bf has no respect for me so he blows it off.
 
sepulatian

sepulatian

Moderator
I would try to keep mom out of this if at all possible. It sounds as though she has enough going on without hearing about sibling rivalry. Talk to your sister and the boyfriend. It is bad enough that they don't help out with household chores, but to expect you to clean up after them and their pet is just insane.
 
t316

t316

Active Member
Add a little food coloring to their dogs food, then next time, there will be no question as to who's dog
crapped on the floor...
 
aquaknight

aquaknight

Active Member
Probably time to change things. Get yourself and your mom your own stuff (or split what's there already). Have your own dish sets. If your sister and bf want dinner/food/etc, they're have to have clean plates otherwise no food. Just do you two's laundry, never do their's. Etc... If they leave burger wrappers, go toss it into their room.
 
salt life

salt life

Active Member
Originally Posted by sepulatian
http:///forum/post/2903364
I would try to keep mom out of this if at all possible. It sounds as though she has enough going on without hearing about sibling rivalry. Talk to your sister and the boyfriend. It is bad enough that they don't help out with household chores, but to expect you to clean up after them and their pet is just insane.
I do try and keep her out of it because she does have alot going on and so does my dad. But when something is said she makes unnecessary comments towards me or makes it my fault like im attacking her. I respect my parents very much and I would do anything for them to help out and I do. But sometimes I do get angry and I let them know and I try and do it respectfully, but my mom turns it around like im being a jerk. I've talked to them but my sister is a bia and doesn't care and her bf had a way different upbringing than me and my sister so he doesn't really know about family life, but my parents gave him a house to live in and dinner everynight, and he still shows no respect and my sister is picking that up from him. My dad does see it and does say stuff to them but it seems to work for a day and then it's back to the same 'ol. I just don't like feeling like everything is on me because they don't help out. It's not fair and It doesnt seem like it is going to change..
 
sepulatian

sepulatian

Moderator
Originally Posted by Salt Life
http:///forum/post/2903392
I do try and keep her out of it because she does have alot going on and so does my dad. But when something is said she makes unnecessary comments towards me or makes it my fault like im attacking her. I respect my parents very much and I would do anything for them to help out and I do. But sometimes I do get angry and I let them know and I try and do it respectfully, but my mom turns it around like im being a jerk. I've talked to them but my sister is a bia and doesn't care and her bf had a way different upbringing than me and my sister so he doesn't really know about family life, but my parents gave him a house to live in and dinner everynight, and he still shows no respect and my sister is picking that up from him. My dad does see it and does say stuff to them but it seems to work for a day and then it's back to the same 'ol. I just don't like feeling like everything is on me because they don't help out. It's not fair and It doesnt seem like it is going to change..
Yeah, that is a very tough situation indeed. My friend used to get the same thing. Her sister was a slob and wouldn't help out. Her boyfriend would pick up after himself though. She had three younger siblings and had to not only do the bulk of cleaning but also care for the younger kids. I was there a lot and saw how much was put onto her. He mother always made comments like, "well if you did anything around here..." things like that. I found it very ridiculous. She ended up moving out when she turned 18.
 
D

dragonzim

Active Member
Your parents need to put their foot down on this. They are letting this boyfriend live in their house? Why arent they expecting him to pitch in and help out?
 
shrimpi

shrimpi

Active Member
help out your mom.. she needs you right now.
grin and bear it... obviously there isnt a point in discussing the way it should be.. we all know its wrong.. so save your money and get your own place when you finish High school.
 
shogun323

shogun323

Active Member
I would try to help out but my eyes always blur when I try to read a multiple sentence rant thread. Sorry.
 
jennythebugg

jennythebugg

Active Member
put their dogs crap and all of their dirty dishes and set it on top of their dirty laundry thats piled on their unmade bed, if you do that every time you are forced to pick up their mess they will start picking up their own mess
 
sharkbait9

sharkbait9

Active Member
Originally Posted by AquaKnight
http:///forum/post/2903389
Probably time to change things. Get yourself and your mom your own stuff (or split what's there already). Have your own dish sets. If your sister and bf want dinner/food/etc, they're have to have clean plates otherwise no food. Just do you two's laundry, never do their's. Etc... If they leave burger wrappers, go toss it into their room.
+1 on this.
I feel for bad that you have to deal with this.
From what I get from your post, it appears your the more responsible and reliable child. While it may not sound nice or “fair” but maybe your mother in her state of rehab is relying on you to take care of the issues in the house. By arguing about your sister and her boyfriend and showing resistance your mothers frustrations about the two are being targeted on you.
I did not see it or read it but not knowing your sisters boyfriend, have you talked to him one on one and voiced your concern about his lack of respect for your parents generosity? The fact that he shows no concern for the mess he and his girlfriend ,your sister make is total reflection on their appreciation. Nor the fact that you’re the one walking behind them cleaning up like they are children running a muck in your parents house.
Do they contribute to the household disposable items? Toilet tissue, paper towels, napkins, laundry detergents etc, etc. Are they living free of charge? Your father works all day then comes home and takes of his wife, the last thing he needs is to have to deal with two unruly, unappreciative people. So unfortunately the burden is placed on you. Normally I would say have a chat with him outside with a baseball bat, but that would solve nothing, only causing more tension and stress that you and your parents don’t need. No matter how frustrated you get take a deep breath and relax.
Dealing with a sick parent is stressful enough, let alone on a young man like your self is even harder. Then with the added fact of taking care of your responsibilities and care of a parent having these two running a muck is not helping.
I think you should maybe sit down with your dad and talk to him about how you feel about your sister and her boyfriends total lack of respect for your self your parents and the house.
JM2C
 
stdreb27

stdreb27

Active Member
Originally Posted by SigmaChris
http:///forum/post/2903330
Tough spot, but here is my 2 cents.
Help your Mom out as much as possible during her rehab.
As for the sister and BF, take an equal stance with them. You are their equals they aren't superior. Don't pick up their dog's poop or their mess. Leave post it notes on the door reminding them to pick it up or just plainly tell them to do it, don't ask them but tell them.
As for dishes and other stuff...when this happened with college room mates I would clean up my dishes. When their stuff started piling up I would put all of the dirty dishes in a plastic bin and place it in their room. There is no reason for you to clean up after them and no reason for you to have to live in their filth.
I know its not much advice but just because your are 17 and the little sister doesn't mean you don't deserve respect or have leverage in the household. If they give you grief, plainly state you are sick of cleaning up after them. If they want to live like pigs suggest they move out on their own and they can keep their house how they want it.
Good luck,
Chris
Post-it notes can end very badly.
My personal course of action in dealing with messy room mates, is DUMP EVERYTHING in their room. Pots pans plates dirty cups, clothes, dog poop ect on their bed.
It will promptly blow up, you can say clean up your own crap, and your dang dogs. If they are anywhere near halfway decent, they'll get the picture.
Originally Posted by Salt Life
http:///forum/post/2903342
Thanks for the advice. Im the little bro by the way. lol..
I've talked to my mom but she just gets agrivated and says im the only one who helps so she asks me. Which I understand but im still a kid and I want to be able to be a kid. Her bf goes to work before I wake up and doesn't have the courtesy to just pick up what is there or walk the dogs, like it's such a hard thing to do. They always blame my dog for the mess and act like their dog doesn't do anything. I have told my sister and her bf to help out and my sister tells me to stfu and her bf has no respect for me so he blows it off.
I agree with sep, it sounds like your mom has enough on her plate. Judging by her reaction, help her out as much as you can. Then do stupid girl stuff like leave her "notes of encouragement." You're going to have to butter up for when you start putting their dogs poop for pillow mints.
All that is based on them living free in the house. If they are paying and you aren't you're gonna be the slave.
 
salt life

salt life

Active Member
Can a MOD delete this thread please, someone had the nerve to make an ass comment about it and I don't appreciate it. Last time I try and get advice from you guys.
 
sepulatian

sepulatian

Moderator
Originally Posted by Salt Life
http:///forum/post/2903760
Can a MOD delete this thread please, someone had the nerve to make an ass comment about it and I don't appreciate it. Last time I try and get advice from you guys.
You can get some very good information and advice here. If you want it closed then I will do that for you, but I would keep it going if it were me.
 
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