i need woman help

pwnag3!!

pwnag3!!

Member
Ok...
lets start with a story...
I started working in a skateboard shop when i was 17 and met my now ex girlfriend... I quit that job after pursuing her (maybe too hard?) But the relationship was good for a while.. up until the 1 year mark... then we started having trouble..
Well i changed alot from then to now... we both smoked (ciggarettes and others....) and i stopped as did she. Well when i stopped smoking...the other stuff I stopped listening to rap (thank god) and started listening to my old metal and hard rock stuff i grew up on. I love it i cant get enough... and that was one of my biggest problems... She couldnt stand my choices in music. Well no biggie though but we fight alot... i have never hit her but i have a violent temper. Im going to anger management classes now on my own will to try and be a better person. But.... He is also helping me with relationship counseling and i find that i only get angry when im with her.. so i decided to try a "break" yeah that doesnt work... so off and on again then finally we both come to the conclusion that its not mendable but might as well try and be friends.
I am actually waiting for my stuff to be dropped off from her
:happy.
Dillema.... I probably was in love or what i thought was love with this girl... but I havent felt the same way for a while now... which probably was an attribute to our break up.
I like this girl i work with... shes so hot and shes got a rockin

[hr]
personality... well at least from afar... no dates yet but we have hung out a few times. I think that i would like to pursue a relationship but i want to be cautios.
If you were a women (some of you are infact) would you be weirded out by the fact that i just broke up with my girlfriend of almost two years and now have the hots for you?
I dont want to scare her off... I just want to know what i can do to capture the flag? (sorry bad video game reference)
Im not in it for a physical relationship but that is always nice
:happy: I just want someone that is happy to see me and i can make smile all the time.
sorry for this mush pot of romantic crap but im just confused. I dont know if she has an interest in me and im too much of a wuss to ask her (im horrible with women and my feelings) but i need to know if im wasting my time...
 
dvs

dvs

Member
Hmmmm, let me be the first to venture in.
First, Ive been in your shoes. Not exactly but pretty damn close. 2 years is a looooong time. I was with my ex on and off for 2 years and even though I loved him a lot, we fought constantly. About everything. Even the petty stuff, like music. In my minds eye, it was over a long time beofre it actaully ended. I cant say I jumped right into another relationship but I did start seeing someone. Did I do it cause I really liked him? Or was I just used to having someone and felt kinda lost and/or lonely? I dunno. I think you should give the new chick a shot. Just dont move too fast and if you explain to her your situation, I think things will work out just fine. Good luck!
Jen
 
pwnag3!!

pwnag3!!

Member
ok...
im going to explain where im coming from..
should i say " Im really intersted in you... I just ended my relationship of almost two years (she knows that though) and im not sure if im just lonely, or that im really over it and want someone new...but maybe you will like what we could be?"
or does that seem too corny or stupid
 
dvs

dvs

Member
Dont tell her youre not sure if youre over your ex. Thats a sure fire way to get her to lose all interest in you what so ever! And if she already knows about your break up, then theres no reason to bring it up. Just tell her how you feel about her and let her decide if she wants to persue.
Jen
 
lovethesea

lovethesea

Active Member
your not going to be over your ex for awhile, so give your self that time. BUT, I don't see the harm in "seeing" someone. Its not like you are still with her. Just trying to move on......
Start things simple. That way she knows she isn't a rebound.
NOW....just how

[hr]
is she. Will she pull you back to things you worked/working hard to move away from? :)
OH, and congrats on getting some counseling. I have a girlfriend that actually married into that (we told her she should not marry him) . It was horrible and she ended up divorced with 2 kids. He is still a very explosive person at home and at work. Has lost several good jobs to it.
So I applaud you !!
And, its not romantic crap, it shows you are at least aware of the other person feelings.
 
blueberryboomer

blueberryboomer

Active Member
Coming from a woman, why don't you simply ask her out for coffee or a drink? If she is interested then I'm sure she will say yes, if she says no, then you spare yourself the heartache of coming out and telling her your interested and having her snub you. What ever you do, please keep us posted and the best of luck to you...Lisa:)
 
pwnag3!!

pwnag3!!

Member
well shes not really like kick your ass punch you in the face

[hr]
...
shes just really open and she isnt judgmental (that constitutes

[hr]
to me :happy: )
Im not big on has to like same type of music... cuz face it lets try and find a woman who loves pantera and showers every day.
I just need someone that doesnt mind me listening to what i want and wont say " i dont want to listen to this sh** its just people yelling"
I want a woman who will actually care about what im feeling and how my day went.
Oh yeah counseling is cool. I went for anger management but we always get off on relationship stuff... but as long as i get the problems out its all good...
I can hear whataburger calling me.
 
lovethesea

lovethesea

Active Member

Originally posted by pwnag3!!

cuz face it lets try and find a woman who loves pantera and showers every day.

:hilarious :hilarious :eek:
 
pwnag3!!

pwnag3!!

Member
thanks lisa... ill actually do that tomorrow when i work with her.
Ill ask her to a movie or something... ive still got tons of giftcards from christmas...or would that make me seem cheap? I mean i make good money doing what i do and i can take her anywhere for a first date, but do you think its a bad move to use a gift card?
 
aidos

aidos

Member
but do you think its a bad move to use a gift card?
sounds exactly like something i would say lol. thats why im gonna say dont do it. btw i suk with women too.
it will look cheap and as though she is not worth the time, even though she is not and ur just trying to get rid of a gift card u have had for over a month....well almost.
best of luck mate
 
tangman99

tangman99

Active Member
Well let me throw my 2 cents on the table. Having 25 years of experience with serious dating, breaking up, cheating on, being cheated on, marrying, divorcing, remarrying and god knows what's next.
If you know your relationship is over, it's time to jump from the plane and pull the ripcord. However, realize that usually you land in the middle of a mine field and need to step lightly and carefully until you are in the clear.
Ask her out and don't mention your ex at all unless she brings it up. Even then, be careful what you say. You don't want to make her feel like she is filling a void. Go slow and keep it light at first. Life is too short to miss out on it. Just live it and enjoy every day.
Good luck.
 
pwnag3!!

pwnag3!!

Member
I dont want her to think she is a rebound girl...
its not like that at all but im just not sure how i can make her feel comfortable and know she isnt just a rebound.
 
tangman99

tangman99

Active Member

Originally posted by pwnag3!!
I dont want her to think she is a rebound girl...
its not like that at all but im just not sure how i can make her feel comfortable and know she isnt just a rebound.
That is really quite easy. Just take it really slow and let her set the pace at first. Someone who is on the rebound is usually looking to replace all that is lost right away. That includes being together (clingy) and trying to have "relations" as Sherman Clump's grandmother put it so eliquently in "Nutty Professor".
I would just ask her out for dinner and talk about things you have in common and get to know each other. Leave past relationships and relationships in general out of the conversation.
 
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