I'm not the only one am I?

[mini-reefer]

Hi, my names Jean and I'm a reefaholic....
I know there have been numerous posts on the addictions of reef keeping, but I just gotta vent so here it goes....
Today while we were enjoying a well deserved day off my wife starts to spring clean(OH NO!). So since I was ONLY doing my "fish tank stuff" she asks for a little help, no big deal. We're doing our thing and all is going OK. In the middle of all this she notices a flea on one of our cats and goes ape sh#t. (Again, OH NO) Next thing I know we're giving both cats a bath a putting on new flea collars and she starts putting powder on the floor and spraying stuff everywhere. I'm moving stuff and trying to dry off the cats and in and out of the room she was cleaning. She decides to go into the back, into the living room where my sump, refugium, top off containers, mixing buckets and, well, you get the point. As I walk out there she spraying poison for the fleas all around the area the mixing stuff is at. I asked her to stop and pointed out all the things that were around, big mistake!
So now I'm on the defensive, getting accused of being anal about everything and some more. "Everyone knows how anal you are when it comes to the fish" she says and continues to go on. I won't repeat any more she said. I can assure you though that it did not turn out to be a pleasant, ah, conversation. Basically I am guilty, guilty, guilty on all counts of being an anal fish keeper.
So after all afternoon of not speaking to one another I'm starting to ask myself silly questions like: Am I the only one like this? Do I go a little, or a lot overboard? I do work for two fish stores but that isn't my primary income. I do have a ton of money wrapped up into three aquariums. I am always checking water parameters and the like. So I am now at a dilemma and need some affirmation from some of you out there to make me feel better about myself.
IMO though, you got to be a bit anal to assure a good environment for the creatures that you decide to keep. But then again, what do I know?
Sorry for the book, but I feel a bit better now...

 

[blondenaso1]

I don't think you were off base at all. I would have flipped out! And if the phrase,"it's either me or the fish" were ever uttered from her lips, well, lets say there would be extra room in the bed at night. I get mad when someone turns the light in the room on after the tank lights have gone off. I am convinced that it "confuses" the corals. I won't let anyone spray anything anywhere near either of my tanks. I don't care what the reason might be. I threatened to call deport me mom's cleaning lady if I saw her windexing my tank back home (little overexageration but you get the idea). I think we can all say that we are all equally as anal when it comes to out tanks.

 

[jumpfrog]

I can relate
But at the risk of being overly sexist. Don't argue with city hall, educate them instead.
When I first started my wife thought I had gone overboard too. So I started giving her bits of information a little at a time. Now she sees the big picture and understands that Yes, I'm anal, but...it's part of the hobby. Little lapses in judgement have serious and fatal consequences.
Good Luck and don't take it personal.

 

[simm]

I agree with ya. Im extremly anal about whats near my tank. Anytime I stick something in my tank. My hand. The bucket I use to mix salt in I wash throughtly with hot water. About the lights I do believe it can confuse corals. My wife was spraying fly spray near my tank one day and I came unglued.

 

[saltyrich]

Relax. I've eaten ramen noodles just so I could spend my money on a sps frag. I also yelled at the kids for dropping a marble in the tank because they thought it would look cool. A reef is as bad as any drug going. Almost.

 

[mmslue79]

Well mini-reefer I would be upset as well. If you spend a certain amount of $$$, you would like to know that you have total control over the situation. I dont even have my SW setup yet, so you can take my comments for what they are worth. But I am lucky I am single (for now..), and when I setup my SW it will be my apartment in my hometown and I am the only one living there for now. So that helps my cause. I agree with other posts, try and make the Mrs. understand. Good luck!

 

[azonic]

Being 19 and living with my parents..and having a 90 gallon reef in my bedroom I HEAR YA, belieeeve me. My parents only used cleaners in my room ONCE since my tank was setup, and they'll never do it again. They've been instructed that no household cleaners or sprays are allowed past my door unless IM the one using them. I tell them this.."you broke it...you bought it". They know there's a little over $4000 in the tank so that's enough to keep them out. They're understanding though, they don't consider it as me being anal..It's like if I went and trampled my mom's rose bush...she would hang me for it so it's pretty much the same thing.
My girlfriend is the biggest problem..she says im more concerned with my fish then I am with her...just because my idea of "going out" is making a trip to two of the local fish stores doesn't mean im obsessed...right? RIGHT?!!??!! heh just joking, she loves my fish too..I thought she was gonna cry when my sebae clown died

 

[azonic]

On a serious note though, educating them would be the best option...if they knew that little squirt of windex could be so fatal to the tank, I doubt they'd use it..
It's sorta funny...mom says to me sometimes "is it ok if i clean your room with "insert product here"...it says it's ammonia free."

 

[mini-reefer]

Thank you all. I knew you would understand.
I guess I'll continue by saying that I have my other issues as well, like lighting. I wont EVER turn on/off a light over the reef. Thats the timers job, same time everyday. Same with rinsing hands and anything that will contact the aquariums water at any point.
My wife and I got bit by the saltwater bug at the same time about 3 1/2 years ago. The thing is, I'm the one that took the ball and ran with it so to speak. I've came a long way in that time and have over 40 corals in my 72 bow now. Its taken awhile to get everything just right and keep 'em all happy. It just seems that daily I have to kindly (or not) remind my wife what the smallest mist of something or residue of something else would do to every one of them. Not to mention I have a Yellow and a Purple Tang that I have kept fat and happy for nearly two years. I would be pissed if I lost 'em now.
Its just frustrating to think of losing it all to one simple mistake.

 

[fireeater]

Let her read this post and see if she can understand some.

 

[maryc137]

I have 2 cats, 1 dog, and the reef tank. Wouldn't think of spraying any flea products, but I also don't want fleas. Why don't you go to the vet and buy some Advantage or Frontline for the cats and you'll never have to worry about fleas.

 

[wrassecal]

I agree that she just needs to understand you were being "anal" about the fish and she was being "anal" about the flea. Sounds like typical marriage stuff to me. Also, be nice cause you don't want to wake up sleeping with the fish. My hubby and me are equally anal about the fish though.

 

[u235a4]

i reading down throught this and was laughing my butt off....i know all about it my wife isn't the problem her mom cleans our house for us and i am always roaming the living room since it has the 125g and the others are in the computer room and i have to get anal sometimes..... so i oh so much know what you mean

 

[clarkiiboi]

I feel ya, my hubbie wanted this tank, as did I, but I have taken over and know alot more than he does and its fires me up when he just turns on the lights too soon. (thats minor compared to your situation, I know) but I understand and I would of flipped in your situation! Not "anal", just misunderstood. LOL

 

[po40cal]

In regards to this, does anybody have a good solution to spraying your house for bugs with a chemical that will not hurt your tank. I`m not talking about spraying the tank, just the inside and outside of the house that will kill bugs without hurting the tank?