Joke
- Thread starter zsalinas
- Start date
J
jdragunas
Guest
lol, that was sooo wrong!
a blonde cop pulls over a blonde for driving irratically. The cop says to the girl, "i need to see your ID", so the blonde pulls out the ID card that came with her purse... The cop says "no, it has to be something with your name on it", so the blonde rumages through her purse and hands the cop her credit card. The cop says "no, it has to have a picture of you on it", so the blond digs through her purse a little more, finds a mirror, looks into it, shrugs and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says "dang, if i'da known you were a cop i wouldn't have pulled you over"
hehehehe. I love blonde jokes!
a blonde cop pulls over a blonde for driving irratically. The cop says to the girl, "i need to see your ID", so the blonde pulls out the ID card that came with her purse... The cop says "no, it has to be something with your name on it", so the blonde rumages through her purse and hands the cop her credit card. The cop says "no, it has to have a picture of you on it", so the blond digs through her purse a little more, finds a mirror, looks into it, shrugs and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says "dang, if i'da known you were a cop i wouldn't have pulled you over"
hehehehe. I love blonde jokes!
nw2sltfsh
Member
A painting contractor was speaking with a woman about her job. In the first room she said she would like a pale blue. The contractor wrote this down and went to the window, opened it, and yelled out "GREEN SIDE UP!" In the second room she told the painter she would like it painted in a soft yellow. He wrote this on his pad, walked to the window, opened it, and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!" The lady was somewhat curious but she said nothing. In the third room she said she would like it painted a warm rose color. The painter wrote this down, walked to the window, opened it and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
The lady then asked him, "Why do you keep yelling 'green side up'?"
"I'm sorry," came the reply. "But I have a crew of blondes laying sod across the street.
socal57che
Active Member
2 peanuts were walkin down the street in East LA. One was a salted.
ruaround
Active Member
Originally Posted by jdragunas
hehehehe. I love blonde jokes!
heres one jd...
a blonde cop pulls over a blonde for driving irratically. The cop says to the girl, "i need to see your ID", so the blonde pulls out the ID card that came with her purse... The cop says "no, it has to be something with your name on it", so the blonde rumages through her purse and hands the cop her credit card. The cop says "no, it has to have a picture of you on it", so the blond digs through her purse a little more, finds a mirror, looks into it, shrugs and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says "dang, if i'da known you were a cop i wouldn't have pulled you over"
hehehehe. I love blonde jokes!
heres one jd...
a blonde cop pulls over a blonde for driving irratically. The cop says to the girl, "i need to see your ID", so the blonde pulls out the ID card that came with her purse... The cop says "no, it has to be something with your name on it", so the blonde rumages through her purse and hands the cop her credit card. The cop says "no, it has to have a picture of you on it", so the blond digs through her purse a little more, finds a mirror, looks into it, shrugs and hands it to the cop. The cop looks at it and says "dang, if i'da known you were a cop i wouldn't have pulled you over"
unleashed
Active Member
A blonde walks into a shoe store in Luisiana.She asks the clerk, if he sells alligator shoes.He replies of course mam, and shows her a few pairs to try on.After fitting her with a nice new pair of shoes he rings her up.She shouts , Im not paying this much for a pair shoes! ! I'll get my own alligator shoes!! as she storms out of the store.
The clerk just snickers and goes about his business. After the store was closed for the evening the clerk drives home as normal, But on his way he noticed the blondes car on the side of the road .But she was no where to be seen.So he got out of his car and looked around ,He could not see her anywhere,Then he heard loud screaming comming from a nearby river bank.He runs to save the girl from unknown danger.but when he reaches the river bank he sees the blond standing next to a large pile of dead alligators.Completely astonished the man says to her,Are you alright mam?She looks up at him and shouts. NO!!!!!! IM REALY TICKED NOW!!!!!!!!!! ALL THESE ALLIGATORS AND NOT ONE OF THEM IS WEARING SHOES
The clerk just snickers and goes about his business. After the store was closed for the evening the clerk drives home as normal, But on his way he noticed the blondes car on the side of the road .But she was no where to be seen.So he got out of his car and looked around ,He could not see her anywhere,Then he heard loud screaming comming from a nearby river bank.He runs to save the girl from unknown danger.but when he reaches the river bank he sees the blond standing next to a large pile of dead alligators.Completely astonished the man says to her,Are you alright mam?She looks up at him and shouts. NO!!!!!! IM REALY TICKED NOW!!!!!!!!!! ALL THESE ALLIGATORS AND NOT ONE OF THEM IS WEARING SHOES
J
jdragunas
Guest
lmao, here's a good one...
two blondes were sitting on a park bench, looking at the moon. The one blonde turns to the other and says "wow the moon is so small, i guess it's really far away". the other blonde says "yeah, which do you think is farther, Florida or the moon?" to which the other blonde replies "well duh, can you see florida???"
two blondes were sitting on a park bench, looking at the moon. The one blonde turns to the other and says "wow the moon is so small, i guess it's really far away". the other blonde says "yeah, which do you think is farther, Florida or the moon?" to which the other blonde replies "well duh, can you see florida???"
J
jdragunas
Guest
a guy walks into a bar and sees a group of blondes huddled around a table, chanting "25 days, 25 days, 25 days". A little confused, he goes to take a closer look. On the table is a puzzle of barney... Well his curiosity is off the charts, so he goes up to one of the blondes and says "why are you chanting 25 days?" The blonde looks at him and says "the box says 3+ years, but we did it in 25 days!"
zsalinas
Member
A blonde, a red head and a brunette were competing in the English
Channel
[hr]
Stroke Competition.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there
was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by
causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing
hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They
embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the
excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered,
"I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used
their arms."
Channel
[hr]
Stroke Competition.
The redhead won and the brunette came in second. However, there
was no sign of the final contestant. Hours and hours went by
causing grave concern and worry. Just as everyone was losing
hope, the blonde finally arrived.
The crowd was extremely happy and relieved to see her. They
embraced the young girl as she came ashore. After all of the
excitement died down, she leaned over to the judge and whispered,
"I hate to be a bad loser, but I think those other girls used
their arms."
ruaround
Active Member
three strings are standing outside a bar and they really want a drink... 1st string walks into the bar walks up to the bartender and says 'I wanna drink' bar tender says' your a string andwe dont serve your kind'... 1st string walks out and tells the other 2 the story... 2nd string walks into the bar walks up to the bartender and says 'I wanna drink' bar tender says 'your a string andwe dont serve your kind'... 3rd string listnens to the story loops swoops and pulls and ruffles his hair walks up to the bartender and says 'I wanna drink' bar tender says 'your a string andwe dont serve your kind'... he says 'Im afraid (a frayed)knot'... :hilarious
J
jdragunas
Guest
lmao
a termite walks into the bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"
two blonde men are working construction. One keeps tossing nails aside, and finally the other says "why are you throwing those nails away?" he says "well, they're built upside-down... the point is on the top and the flat part is on the bottom...". the other replies "well don't throw them away, we can use those for the celing" hahahaha
what's green and has wheels?
a termite walks into the bar and asks "is the bar tender here?"
two blonde men are working construction. One keeps tossing nails aside, and finally the other says "why are you throwing those nails away?" he says "well, they're built upside-down... the point is on the top and the flat part is on the bottom...". the other replies "well don't throw them away, we can use those for the celing" hahahaha
what's green and has wheels?
J
jdragunas
Guest
a fish swam into a brick wall and yelled "dam!!!"
J
jdragunas
Guest
what did the ant say when a man tried to squash it???
nothing... ants don't talk... hehehe
nothing... ants don't talk... hehehe
J
jdragunas
Guest
where does the lone ranger take his trash out?
to the dump to the dump, to the dump dump dump... hehehe
and what's green and has wheels???
grass...
i lied about the wheels... hahahahaha, that one cracked me up when i first heard it...
i have another good one, but it kinda has to be told in person... well, i'll give it my best shot...
to the dump to the dump, to the dump dump dump... hehehe
and what's green and has wheels???
grass...
i lied about the wheels... hahahahaha, that one cracked me up when i first heard it...
i have another good one, but it kinda has to be told in person... well, i'll give it my best shot...