The additional 5 gallons won't make a difference in how many or which fish you can keep. In the case of a 40 gallon breeder vs. a 45 gallon you are actually reducing the territory with the 45. Both are 36 inches long. The 40 is 18 inches front to back and the 45 is 12 inches. The extra volume in the 45 is all in height which doesn't give you more territory. If you want to increase territory a 75 or 90 with a foot print of 48" by 18 " would be a better choice. Territory is very important for a saltwater tank. Fish that have to compete for territory are more likely to harass their tank mates. Something else to consider is the deeper 45 will be harder to light if you someday want an anemone or coral. It is also harder to clean. That is more of a personal preference. I have a deep 120 and love the depth because it has a larger viewing area.
Either of your two options would work minus the damsels in option 1. Even in a huge tank, >150 gallons, I wouldn't do damsels, especially more than one. Personally I think you will have more success with the oscelaris clowns than the barberi because they are low on the aggression side if they aren't breeding. A pair of any species of clownfish can be nice and docile until they reach sexual maturity and start laying eggs. Then they often change. That can be said for a lot of salt water fish but not so much those on your list except the clowns. Just keep it in mind. That said, each individual fish will have its own personality and some individuals of species considered docile can be real jerks and some individuals from aggressive species can be very docile. You need to choose based on the most likely situation based on the average temperament not the situation you want. I love royal grammas but have never had long term success with them, many others have though. I've done well with the orchid dottyback. I like your focus on tank bred fish. I'm a strong believer in buying tank bred whenever possible.
