Plum,
I have (only) a 45 gallon but went through alot of the same thought process you seem to be going through. I bought a Hamilton hood, by the way. After alot of thought, I decided on a 175w 10K MH and 2 96w VHO 03 actinics.
I love the blue look of the tank! I admit I'm a bit color-blind though ......my wife recently brought to my attention that "everything looks the same color" As a matter of fact, I had just bought an orange feather duster and, in my tank, it looks more brown than anything. I think I have too much blue!!
I'm replacing the VHO's now and am going with one 03 and one 50/50.
All this to say, I wouldn't go with the 12K or 20K MH's unless you want a really blue look to your tank.
One other thing, I did go back to Hamilton to ask if I could upgrade the 175w to 250w using the same ballast. Their answer was: "definitely not."
One last thing.....the 250w MH's start at $99.95 where I buy mine.
Jim