tigerlover
Member
Only in America- do we have speed traps on freeways
(i know, a sorry one, but all the good ones were taken
(i know, a sorry one, but all the good ones were taken
OT: Only in America (funny)
- Thread starter entice59
- Start date
fishtanker
Member
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
very funny lol
very funny lol
murray bmf
Member
Cargo goes by ship,
A Shipment goes by truck,
you get a pair of panties-but only one bra
A Shipment goes by truck,
you get a pair of panties-but only one bra
matti070
Member
Originally posted by Snakes'n'fish
A little math problem for you all.
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
What makes life 100%?
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
Then:
H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%
K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96%
But,
A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%
And,
B U L L S * * *
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.
And look how far ass kissing will take you.
A * * K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7= 127 %
LOL!!
jillian ayers
Member
I found this thread a little ways back and got a good laugh out of it. Now here's some fun from me: Headlines in the year 2035
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars ! can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have --- with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
Average price of a single family home in Southern California is $2,500,000. And a three bedroom apartment now rents for $8,000 a month.
Celebrating Christmas now officially a felony as it offends too many people.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.
Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria, and Lebanon).
Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars ! can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have --- with congressman.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%.
Average price of a single family home in Southern California is $2,500,000. And a three bedroom apartment now rents for $8,000 a month.
Celebrating Christmas now officially a felony as it offends too many people.