parents divorcing, what the hell do i do?

[sharkboy13]

ok so last nite i got a lil snippy, my dad lost it and punched me in the stomach and chest. since this happened to my bro yrs ago my mom said she wasnt gonna tolerate it and is filing for divorce. my question is becuz i partially started this what do i do?

 

[babyb]

its really hard whene your caught in the middle, no parent has the right to punch there child, disipline, yes but not by punching
i know what its like
a few years i asked my mother why she hated me because we would just walk by eeach other and just go at it for no reason, it was a horable life style, but we are working it out and have both goten help for anger issues
also with the whole parents divorcing, while i dont know exactly what thats like i do know what its like to have a parent bail, my father commited suicide a few days befor my 6th birthday, its tought but you will get over it, many chilren do through alot worse than me, and maybe you i cant really speak for you
but life will go on

 

[firefish9]

Thats so sad sharkboy ur parents are so nice.

 

[oceanists]

Originally Posted by Sharkboy13
ok so last nite i got a lil snippy, my dad lost it and punched me in the stomach and chest. since this happened to my bro yrs ago my mom said she wasnt gonna tolerate it and is filing for divorce. my question is becuz i partially started this what do i do?

Chances are it isnt all about abusing you , their are probably private underlying issues that you dont know about .... dont blame yourself.
Snippy or not you should not be punched by your father

 

[1journeyman]

Sharkboy. This is a very serious topic. Too serious for a public forum devoted to SWF.
You need to talk with your mother and go from there. It sounds like the three of you should seek trained help from a professional.
I'm not blowing you off by closing this thread; just the opposite. Any advice you get here will be from people who are not trained or not informed enough on the situation to assist you.
Talk to your mother. She knows what is best for you.

 

[beth]

I'd add that you are not responsible for anything that results in your father punching you. Kids act up, get snippy, act like crazy, etc., that goes with the territory. There is no excuse. I worked in child abuse for 10 years, so I do know what I am talking about.
Your mom is doing the wise thing. A violent person needs little provocation. Your father could well get arrested for what he did. If this ever happens again, or even now, you should contact the local child protective services.

 

[beth]

Sharkboy, we are re-opening this topic for you. Those who care to post should keep in mind the gravity of the situation, and not throw in questionable advise. Those who wish to offer support, are welcome to do so.

 

[watson3]

Originally Posted by Oceanists
there are probably private underlying issues that you dont know about .... dont blame yourself.
Agreed..

 

[earlybird]

My parents recently divorced after 20 yrs of what I thought was a happy marriage. Both are very happy and life goes on. Good luck.

 

[bigarn]

I also feel your mother is doing the right thing. You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about ... no father has the right to punch their children the way you explained it. I think it would be wise for your mother to look into getting a restraining order against him if he's prone to this kind of behavior.

 

[30-xtra high]

personally... i don't think getting punched it that big of a deal, it always puts me in line, and doesn't sound like you really got hurt, or it even bothers you...
but if you are willing to go to any cost.. tell your mom you'll never talk to her again if she gets divorced.
if you want whatever is a better choice... just play it as it goes.

 

[sharkboy13]

thank you all and ty mods for reopening the thread

 

[mr. guitar]

Not much to say but prayer always works. I hope things go better with your family. God Bless!

 

[alyssia]

You did NOT partially start this. It is not your fault your dad hit you!!!

 

[beth]

Keep us posted on how you're doing.

 

[sharkboy13]

well i have a lil news, not very long ago he called and yelled at me for quote "making ur mother go completely insane and make her break her wedding vowes (sp?)" i do not believe i did anything to do this, cept for getting snippy.

 

[tangman99]

Hey little dude,
First off, I'm sorry to hear that happened to you. Second of all, it's obvious your dad has some serious issues he needs to take care of. Believe me, my son has made me mad to the point at times where I could tear a door out of the frame but I have never struck him nor have I ever thought about it. It's not only wrong, it's a crime and nothing you have done should ever warrant that happening to you.
Now I don't want to go throwing out too much advice because there are always two sides to every story. Not that he could ever justify doing that, but simply because all we know is what you have told us and the advice I would give could have very serious consequences if I have misinterpreted anything. At the least, you and your mother need to sit down and realistacally determine the threat your dad poses. If either of you feel in danger of further physical abuse, you should take steps to protect yourself.
I will leave my advice at this for the time being.

 

[30-xtra high]

don't be offended by this... but by any chance does your dad drink?

 

[beth]

TangMan's advise and comments are about as sound as it gets, Little Shark. You father does have issues, and, unfortunately, you are paying for them. You need to think of your safety, as well as your mother's safety.
Mom and you should be supportive of each other now, and seek out supportive friends, family and clergy. If at any time you are at risk again, you should know that there is child protective services that can help you.

 

[30-xtra high]

no offense Beth, you have good points and all... but i don't think thats what he's lookin for... he didn't act like he was hurt, or afraid of his dad, i think he just wants a way for his parents to solve their problems., and Sharkboy, just make them talk it out., hope this all works out for you.