People make me so mad..like my mother-in-law!

[crimzy]

Not to pile on or anything but here's my take...
You live with your husband and child in your MIL's house... rent free I assume. She cooks for you. She watches the child for you to go out. Everything right so far? And you stay because you can't/won't pay rent and bills. You feel like you're stuck there because the alternative is to actually pay for your own life.
Let me let tell you the irony here. You want to be treated like an adult but you live like a child. You want no bills, no responsibiliities, to be able to buy what you want for her house and you complain about doing some chores and dealing with attitude.
You became an adult when you had a child... try living like the rest of us. Bills suck but we don't all live with our inlaws do we?

 

[37g joe]

Alright I have a 37 gallon not as heavy as a 55 gallon my son who is now almost 2 is pretty strong he nbreaks off child proof locks from whateve cabinet I put them on he has done this since he was about a 1 year old but he has not even been able to move one bit of my tank.
I just sugest you move out find a new place to live.

 

[crimzy]

One more thing...
If you want your MIL to treat you better, I don't think arguing with her or getting back at her will do anything at all. You want her to treat you like an adult, right? So next time you have $125, do not buy a fish tank, give it to her and say "I appreciate everything you've done for me and my child." She probably won't even take the money but at least it's showing some maturity. JMO

 

[rberhow]

Right on Crimz.....and for all who agree, can i hear an AMEN Crimzer!!!!!!

 

[mystic7]

Excellent idea, and I agree. She probably won't take the money.

 

[keleighr]

Sorry Sarah but I have to agree with a lot of the folks on here. Getting revenge will just make your situation a whole lot worse.
I too had a baby (single mom as well) at a young age. But all my $$$ went to her. I ate top ramon for a month because all the $$ that I did get went to buying all the things she needed.
A tank is not a necessity when you are living in someone else's home. Kyle needs to tell his mom he is now technically an adult and will start saving to get himself and his new family into a place of your own. Just cause his mom doesn't want him to move out means that he HAS to live there. Makes no sense when it seems like you are both miserable anyways. He would rather be at work and you hide out in a bedroom??? What kind of life is that??
So I understand the venting....that is in fact very healthy but the revenge piece will just make it uncomfortable for you. Remember folks she has to live with this woman, none of us do. So when she does her "revenge" who is willing to bail her out on here????

 

[sarah fair]

Yall make it sound like when I say "revenge" its going to be something horrible...no..I just shut the door and kept the baby in there and 5 mins after she got home she knew I was p.o. so she came in and acted all happy and started to ask questions about the tank..I know what Im doing with her....I know what hits her also..and Im not griping about chores or anything..I do them and it just goes unnoticed that Im acctually doing something around the house..and that hurts my feelings a little bit so when I get something back that I enjoy whats wrong with that? WHAT IS WRONG WITH A LITTLE HAPPIENESS IN YOUR LIFE?! I do EVERYTHING and never get a thank you...instead I just get looks of discust....Yall dont understand anything about getting up and moving out! $125 of a thing isnt s*** for all the stuff Ive done over the past year and a half! There is nothing wrong about getting a reward once in awhile..it makes someone feel as if they are appriciated..human. Or did some of yall forget that? Im not saying this to all of yall..just a few who act like me getting an aquarium was the dumbest thing I could have done..I could go spend my money on crack and leave my baby with nothing. I think that some of yall just need to simmer down with all that..I am a human being and I like to be happy every once in awhile...Sorry.

And Yes I usually say like all the time...Its a bad habbit i know

 

[nw2sltfsh]

I can honestly feel your pain. My MIL and her tactics makes what you described look like June Cleaver or Mrs Brady in comparison. I am 35 so far from young. Have a house of my own and 2 children. I have over 70,000 per year income myself not including my husbands income, my children want for nothing (although if you ask them they never get anything)
My MIL made the same comments to me when I bought my 110. It was not in her house, she was not paying for anything in my life, but felt that it was a waste of money and that I should not be spending money like that when my daughter needed a new bycycle - to be clear my daughter didnt need a new bicyle she wanted one because Pink is no longer her favorite color and felt that this justified the purchase. I recieved a call from my MIL to be yelled at for irresponsible parenting because of this.
Take my word for it and from many others on here - it isnt worth the stress you feel to argue or attempt to push her buttons. I have been married for almost 9 years and have finally learned that there are never enough people that can love my children and for their sake I suck it up and just deal with what she says but still choose to spend my money as I wish. My mother in law is now in a wheelchair and has a condition that is causing her mental capacity to decline greatly. She is now mean spirited on occasion because of this - but I know that she loves my children and that is all that matters
What I have also learned is to not share the prices of SW items with people - unless you are in this hobby you just dont get it and it just makes for more trouble

 

[keleighr]

Yall dont understand anything about getting up and moving out! $125 of a thing isnt s*** for all the stuff Ive done over the past year and a half!
I am sure there are many of us who understand about picking up and moving out. I am 33 so I am well aware "picking up and moving out".
I understand buying nice things as a reward but the tank should have been something that you waited to get until you had your own place. IMO.
"But I feel better now..but am still looking for revenge!
haha"
Those are your own words. This is why people are focusing on the word.

 

[lovethesea]

Originally Posted by Sarah Fair
Im not griping about chores or anything..I do them and it just goes unnoticed that Im acctually doing something around the house..and that hurts my feelings a little

welcome to the world of adulthood and motherhood.......

 

[alyssia]

Originally Posted by lovethesea
welcome to the world of adulthood and motherhood.......

I second that!

 

[sfe]

People make me mad when they try to impose on me that god exists

 

[alyssia]

Originally Posted by Sarah Fair
Yall make it sound like when I say "revenge" its going to be something horrible...no..I just shut the door and kept the baby in there and 5 mins after she got home she knew I was p.o. so she came in and acted all happy and started to ask questions about the tank..I know what Im doing with her....I know what hits her also..and Im not griping about chores or anything..I do them and it just goes unnoticed that Im acctually doing something around the house..and that hurts my feelings a little bit so when I get something back that I enjoy whats wrong with that? WHAT IS WRONG WITH A LITTLE HAPPIENESS IN YOUR LIFE?! I do EVERYTHING and never get a thank you...instead I just get looks of discust....Yall dont understand anything about getting up and moving out! $125 of a thing isnt s*** for all the stuff Ive done over the past year and a half! There is nothing wrong about getting a reward once in awhile..it makes someone feel as if they are appriciated..human. Or did some of yall forget that? Im not saying this to all of yall..just a few who act like me getting an aquarium was the dumbest thing I could have done..I could go spend my money on crack and leave my baby with nothing. I think that some of yall just need to simmer down with all that..I am a human being and I like to be happy every once in awhile...Sorry.

And Yes I usually say like all the time...Its a bad habbit i know

You're right, their is nothing wrong with wanting a little happiness BUT once you have kids you give up "your" happiness, unless you count the happiness you get from your baby.

 

[milomlo]

AMEN TO THAT!! It isn't about you anymore and NEVER will be again. It is all about your baby's health and happiness now.
That is what being a mother is all about.

 

[crimzy]

Honestly sarah, from your post it doesn't really seem like you understand what you MIL is doing for you. You talk about being appreciated, have you ever thanked her? It sounds from your tone that you feel that she should provide you with shelter, food, utilities and babysitting service... like she owes you. I wonder if you ever asked her if it was ok to bring the aquarium into her house. You should act like you are a guest in her house because that's what you are. Do you think she wants to support her son, his teenage wife and a grandchild?
Sorry if this offends you but if there is a burden in that household, it's not her.

 

[alyssia]

Originally Posted by milomlo
AMEN TO THAT!! It isn't about you anymore and NEVER will be again. It is all about your baby's health and happiness now.
That is what being a mother is all about.

Yep! Sorry to rag on you Sarah, but it sounds like you need to grow up, and fast. You have a child depending on you now. :joy:

 

[emperor11]

Originally Posted by rberhow

Right on Crimz.....and for all who agree, can i hear an AMEN Crimzer!!!!!!

AMEN CRIMZY. Very well said by the way.

 

[sarah fair]

Ok..honestly yall dont be need to talking or saying things if yall dont know the situation...and who said my kid wasnt happy and healthy? how dare yall question me on that..and for yalls info my aquarium does make my baby happy. he loves it! and uh ya i did ask her if i could get one..i asked her about the size and everything! she just had something stuck up her a** that night that had to do with her husband and she wanted an easy target to take it out on..ME! She has always done thisand always will. I see her do the same things to people that she doesnt even know...its just her personality..not beacause i live here..and F you to who ever said me and my child were a burden! I tried to move out and when we got ready to go she said no to just stay there...so its not like ive tried! Just dont start to try and tell me how it is when yall dont know how it is..
thank you