Pirate Joke

[rykna]

You'll Love this~
Favorite pirate joke from my cousin Matt.
A holly wood director is interviewing actors for the pirate captain position. Just when he was feeling like he was getting no where a weathered man with a eye patch, peg leg, hook for a hand, captain's uniform, and a parrot on his shoulder walks in and sits down.
"Well, you look quite the part sir. What kind of acting experience do you have?"
The man stares blankly at him...
"Well tell me how you got your peg leg."
"It were a stormy night at sea. The waves were washing over the decks. Some of the riggin' wrapped around me leg and tore it off."
"Hmm...and a what about your hook?"
"Twas a good fight over a bonnie lass, I lost me hand, but won the lass.Arrrrrrh a sweet lass indeed."
"I see...well ah...what about you eye patch?"
"It was a bright sunny day and a sea gull flew over head...."
"And???"
"Arrhh.....it be the first day I got me hook!"

 

[ruaround]

how much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced???
a buck an ear (buccaneer) ARRRRRRRRRGHHH...

a pirate walks into a bas with a steering wheel attached to his waist... he sits down and orders a drink... the bartender says "do you know you have a steering wheel attatched to your waist???" the pirates says "ARRGHH I do and its driving me nuts..."

 

[earlybird]

Originally Posted by ruaround
a pirate walks into a bas with a steering wheel attached to his waist... he sits down and orders a drink... the bartender says "do you know you have a steering wheel attatched to your waist???" the pirates says "ARRGHH I do and its driving me nuts..."

 

[30-xtra high]

here's an awesome geometry joke... what did the pirate say when his bird flew away?... Polygon

 

[mie]

How do you catch a unique bird?
unique up on it....
How do you catch a tame bird?
the tame way..

 

[mie]

Now thats funny

 

[thelogan]

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled.
Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain calm as ever bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!". The battle was on, and once again the Captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, although this time more casualties occurred.
Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's occurrences when an ensign looked to the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?". The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the wound and thus, you men will continue to fight unafraid". The men sat in silence marveling at the courage of such a man.
As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to their Captain for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!!
one of my favorites

 

[jonthefishguy]

what is a pirates favorite socks? AARRGILE!

 

[chano]

good pirate jokes unfortunately the only good one i know contains language that would most likely get edited and kills the punchline.