question about stepkids

[fish master]

Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2913533
Fish Master... ultimately it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks as you make your own decisions. But let me just give you my $.02 here.
First, I have some experience with extended families. I have a step mother, step father, 3 step brothers, 2 step sisters, 2 half sisters, 1 half brother and a natural brother. I've grown up with this type of situation since I was 5.
My opinion is this... YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT!!! Mom and dad make those types of decisions and you should either support your wife or keep your mouth shut. You should not be deciding on any discipline because you simply don't have the mutual bonds with the kids that parents have. Be his friend and support your wife. Don't try to make the decisions that a parent should make. You will only create tension with your wife and with your step son. JMO. Good luck.

crimzy, ihave thought about that,but disagree, iam apart of these kids lives, and it is hard to stand aside. iam a part of the kids lives and feel i have a say so. iam not trying to take anything from the kids dad. he has a strong say so in everything that happens, but i think i have a say so also. maybe iam wrong?

 

[reefraff]

I've had a step parent and been a step parent. Your wife handled this completely wrong.
She shouldn't have drug the ex into it like that. She should have just told you that you were over reacting to the situation and made her case from there. The kid is under your care 95% of the time so you should have input into discipline. The Dad should have veto power but you and the wife should come to terms and then bring him into it.
If you really think about what he did it was nothing worthy of a huge punishment if I am catching the drift of what went on. He just needs a smack in the back of the head to make him realize you gotta think before you act. He did something stupid but it sounds like his motives weren't all that bad.
Aint step parenting fun?
Actually sounds like they are good kids.

 

[regina13]

Originally Posted by crimzy
http:///forum/post/2913533
Fish Master... ultimately it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks as you make your own decisions. But let me just give you my $.02 here.
First, I have some experience with extended families. I have a step mother, step father, 3 step brothers, 2 step sisters, 2 half sisters, 1 half brother and a natural brother. I've grown up with this type of situation since I was 5.
My opinion is this... YOU ARE NOT THE PARENT!!! Mom and dad make those types of decisions and you should either support your wife or keep your mouth shut. You should not be deciding on any discipline because you simply don't have the mutual bonds with the kids that parents have. Be his friend and support your wife. Don't try to make the decisions that a parent should make. You will only create tension with your wife and with your step son. JMO. Good luck.

I also came from that type of situation, and have tp agree.
Both step parents have been in my life as long as I can remember. To this day they still are not close to me like a parent would be. They never made and choices for me. If they tried, it felt like they were trying to take the place of a parent. I know you might want to be part of their life, but if it different in their perspective thsn yours. You are trying to help, but they probably see it as you taking over...
Though that is probably not what you wanted to here, hope that help!