Quick Jokes!

pontius

pontius

Active Member
a priest, rabbi, black, jew, pollock, blonde, and 3 legged dog walk into a bar. the bartender looks up and says, "is this some kind of joke?"
 
catawaba

catawaba

Active Member
The estates of Sammy Davis Jr. and Ella Fitzgerald are opening a joint venture restaurant chain.
Sam-n-Ellas!
 
catawaba

catawaba

Active Member
A bear walks into a bar and says he'll have a Jack
and Coke.
The bartender says "Why the large pause?"
 
threed240

threed240

Member
A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The guy sitting next to him said, " I bet I can jump out that second story window, fly around, and fly back through that window after drinking this special beer." The first guy said, "Theirs no way!". So he does it. He chugs his beer, jumps out the window, flys around, and lands just like he said he could. So the first guy orders that same kind of beer. He chugs it, jumps out the window, splats on the pavement. The bartender looks up and says, "Superman your mean when your drunk!"
Sorry its a little long.
 
agent-x

agent-x

Member
Originally Posted by PonieGirl
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
awesome!
 
agent-x

agent-x

Member
Have you ever noticed when someone drives off a cliff they still hit the brakes?....
Better try the emergency brake.
 
D

dragonzim

Active Member
Originally Posted by AGENT-X
Have you ever noticed when someone drives off a cliff they still hit the brakes?....
Better try the emergency brake.

That sounds like something Stephen Wright would have come up with
 
agent-x

agent-x

Member
I heard it about 15 years ago and never forgot it. I think it was from the old SNL skit Deep Thoughts with Jack Handy.
 
threed240

threed240

Member
There was a couple driving down the road on their way to get married. The had a car wreck and both of them died and went to heaven. At the gates of heaven they met St. Peter. They asked them if it were possible to get married there before entering into heaven, seeing as they were killed on their way to get married. St. Peter said ok, let me go get a preacher. St. Peter returned a few hours later with the preacher. The couple asked him, "If something were to not work out, and we wanted to get a divorce, since this is the 21st century, could that be done?" St. Peter looked at them and said, "It took me over 2 hours to find a preacher. How long do you think it would take me to find a lawyer?"
 
30-xtra high

30-xtra high

Active Member
whatever mod took off my joke obviuosly didn't read the rest... well i'm going to post it again... and mods actually read the answer this time..
Wunna hear a dirty joke?
a kid fell in the mud.
 
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