i have two suggestions that you have proabably already thought of. the first is, i think you should fill in the wounds with red, and the second is that in the last bit of it he says "the very fish ive avoided my whole life, i barely escaped with my life" i think you should say something like i bearly escaped in one piece. it sounds kinda weird with two lifes in the same sentence. just a sugestion tho. looks awsome!