Say it or show it...

[tizzo]

I am really bad about not believing what people say. I hafta see it. I don't make friends easily because if a person's mouth contradicts their actions, I have no use for them.
For example... I had met a woman when I was younger who ranted and raved about how neat she likes her place to be, how she can't sit still, always straightening up... She was neat, but not obsessive and I think she gave herself far to much credit. Almost as if, if she says it, then that's the only impression I'll get and automatically believe it.
Another is apologies. I don't buy them. If your in a heated arguement, you don't say things that simply aren't true, you say things that you wouldn't say when your getting along, but you still think them.
Are any of you so particular??
I especially get a kick out of older couples who have grown apart, and fight all the time, but stay together because they "still love each other"... See, now that's a perfect example of, if you don't act in love, if you act like enemies, then your confusing love for habit. And a bad habit...
Anywho... just curious if anyone else is like this.

 

[startrfish]

seriously........take it to match dot com dude.........

 

[bronco300]

haha, i remember when i once met this lady she said shed get me some zoos if i paid shipping and i never got them,lol....i have forgiven her since then though, she's a nice person.

otherwise yes i agree....promises are the biggest...i can't stand having people lie about that...if you promise and arent being serious so help me!

 

[windmill]

I'd say i'm similar tizzo. Actually, now that I think of it, I should say i'm psychotic, as that's a little more accurate.
I used to constantly evaluate anyone i met and compare how they acted in a group to how they acted around fewer people. I used to be extremely judgemental and demanding. I guess I've grown up since then. Now I consider myself a realist and expect other people to be disrespectful, dishonest, un-reliable, and untrustworthy.
But that's just me, and i've been told i'm confusing.

 

[lovethesea]

Originally Posted by startRfish
seriously........take it to match dot com dude.........

first of all DUDE, she is a girl............. a married one at that

second of all, I'm with ya Tizz. I think a lot of people are becoming more and more like that. I think we can thank our polititans for some of that. So many people think its OK to say or believe one thing and do the opposite. Also some people are pleasers and they need to keep the peace and will "get along" and then when they blow up they speak their mind/truth.

 

[shogun323]

I think it is a cultural shift and everyone is more skeptical than they used to be. Years ago deals were sealed with handshakes and people believed what they were told without questioning the validity of their source.
Jump forward to today........... Snakeoil salesmen are everywhere. We are bombarded with advertisements for products that don't live up to the hype. Scam artists are everywhere. It's no wonder.

 

[chickadee]

i don't like men... they're the epitomy of what tizzo's talking about... they do the whole "wooing/courtship" thing to get you to marry them, and then, BAM!!! they spring it on you a week later... "i've decided i don't want kids... i really don't like this, or that, i just said it so you'd like me"... turds!!!

 

[ruaround]

Originally Posted by chickadee
i don't like men... they're the epitomy of what tizzo's talking about... they do the whole "wooing/courtship" thing to get you to marry them, and then, BAM!!! they spring it on you a week later... "i've decided i don't want kids... i really don't like this, or that, i just said it so you'd like me"... turds!!!
OMG... whatever!!!
i would have to agree with part of what LTS said and pretty much all of what shogun said...
i think snake in the grass lawyers and loop holes in our system has created this skeptisism as well...

 

[windmill]

That's funny. Women always complain about guys {EDIT LANGUAGE}. You'd think a few would change tactics or learn from their mistakes. But it seems the majority are content to keep acting/dressing the same way or frequenting the same place or even still playing the typical female role of "hard to get" or the infamous "never approach a man" strategy....

 

[chickadee]

hey! not all women complain about men!!! and the ones that do are already married and stuck for life!!! once again... turds...

 

[ruaround]

Originally Posted by windmill
That's funny. Women always complain about how shitty guys are. You'd think a few would change tactics or learn from their mistakes. But it seems the majority are content to keep acting/dressing the same way or frequenting the same place or even still playing the typical female role of "hard to get" or the infamous "never approach a man" strategy....
WELL PUT!!!

 

[ruaround]

Originally Posted by chickadee
hey! not all women complain about men!!! and the ones that do are already married and stuck for life!!! once again... turds...
then why in the heck did you say the vows... yet another statement thatmakes absolutely no sense and is totally hypicritical!!!

 

[chickadee]

... did you not read the "then AFTER you get married, they spring it on you" part? i said the vows because that turd made me fall in love with him... using his stupid antics to trick me into loving him... only God knows why he felt he had to do that! You know how they say the first year of marraige is the hardest? THIS IS WHY! because you end up married to someone totally different than you thought you were, and it takes a year to work out all of the kinks that this caused!!!
whew, i feel a lot better now!

 

[ruaround]

thats why you should date and/or live with someone for a couple years... if you were tricked and you fell for it then who is at fault for not getting to know one another???

 

[chickadee]

i knew him for 2 years before we got married. That's his fault. how can you possibly get to know someone if they lie to you??? answer me that!

 

[tizzo]

Wow, chickadee, maybe you should narrow it down to...your man is a turd, LOL...
Oh and thanks Luv, for the above...
That would be somebody trying to read INTO what I was saying and ignoring the actual question.
Anyway, I guess women are the worst. They tend to see what they want. Like if a man never shows her attention, and yet SAYS he likes being with her, she tends to go on what he says, not his actions...
No, my hubby is not like that. I got lucky in the sense that I knew exactly what I was getting into. But friendships on the otherhand are impossible for me.
Seems like some of you get my point though...
For the others, I am truly sorry I wasted your time with this topic. No no really, I apologize, I get it, you have other things to do... Not just sit here and read about this one...and read...and read...and read...
Yet,
your still here...

 

[ruaround]

well... IMO what your describing is an "in the moment" type thing... and i dont mean he was just saying it to get, well you know... what i mean is people change, and change daily right in front of your eyes... you dont play with barbies or dollies or have tea parties with your stuffed animals anymore... priorities change for people... if you expect change and force change typically the reverse will happen... its a two way street... give and take...
as far as someone liing to you just to marry you... well theres alot to be said about that...and none of it good...

 

[tizzo]

Originally Posted by chickadee
i knew him for 2 years before we got married. That's his fault. how can you possibly get to know someone if they lie to you??? answer me that!
I'ts nobody's "fault".
You were conned... He led you to believe he was something that he was not.
As if we weren't all conned at one point in time or another, you just had the misfurtune of finding out after marriage.
That's a tough situation., but if it's not to personal, why not leave. I would hate going through life with a turd...

 

[windmill]

Either conned or un-observant....
Sorry, couldn't help myself.

 

[tizzo]

Well, we all go through a lot of relationships, and they work until we learn somthing we are not compatible with, then we break up. Some can last a pretty long time...
If it takes you a year to learn that your partner wants kids and you don't well then so be it, handle it accordingly.
But if they specifically TELL you they want a family and immediately after marriage they don't. I'd say they were conning you.
May be hard to believe but some people do that.
I had a guy tell me he was 27, when he was really 32, lied about his first name and 6 months after we were dating, I saw on his license that he lied.
Like chick...why he lied was beyond me, but he did and I left. Itwas actuallyu the 3rd lie that I left on, but still I was lucky not to have married him before I found out the truth...