saltymom
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.
Ten years goes by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat.
The snail says, "What the $%^# was that all about?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling through the forrest one day when he happens upon a Leprechaun, perched upon a toadstool. The Leprechaun looks down at the poor snail, crawling on his belly all his life, and takes pity on him.
"Snail," he says. "I am going to grant you a wish. Whatever you want, you have only to ask."
The snail can't believe his luck! He thinks for a moment, and then excitedly exclaims, "Yes! I do have a wish! I want a brand new, shiny red Corvette Stingray!"
The Leprechaun at first thinks that this is pretty strange, but then, considering that he is talking to a snail, perhaps not.
"And" continues the snail. "I want a bright, golden "S" painted on the doors, the hood and the trunk of my corvette."
"You shall have your wish," responds the Leprechaun.
With the wave of his hand, the snail's wish is granted. And now, whenever the snail roars through the forrest in his shiny new corvette, with the big "S" on the side, all the other animals of the forrest say....
"Wow! Look at that crazy "S" car go!!!!"
**********************3***********************
A young couple were entertaining some French guests and decided to serve snails. The husband went out to get hold of some suitable snails while his wife remained at home preparing for that evening.
It was a nice day, and after he'd got the snails, the husband decided to pop into his local pub for a drink (or two).
Or three. Realising how much time had passed in the pub, he grabbed his coat and snails and ran home knowing that his wife would be wondering where he'd got to. As he charged through the garden gate he tripped and dropped the snails all over the path.
His wife heard the commotion and went to see what was going on. On seeing her husband she asked "Where have you been?"
He looked back at the snails and gestured towards the front door: "Come on lads, nearly there!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.
"It was these two turtles!" the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!"
The officer asks "Did you get a good look at them?"
The snail says "No! It all happened so fast!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^5^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What does a snail say when he rides a turtle?
Wheeeeee!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up, and no one is there. He looks all around and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat. He picks it up and throws it across the street into a field.
Ten years goes by, and one day he hears a knocking on his door. He opens it up and no one is there. He looks all around, and he finally sees a little snail sitting on the doormat.
The snail says, "What the $%^# was that all about?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a lowly snail, who was busily crawling through the forrest one day when he happens upon a Leprechaun, perched upon a toadstool. The Leprechaun looks down at the poor snail, crawling on his belly all his life, and takes pity on him.
"Snail," he says. "I am going to grant you a wish. Whatever you want, you have only to ask."
The snail can't believe his luck! He thinks for a moment, and then excitedly exclaims, "Yes! I do have a wish! I want a brand new, shiny red Corvette Stingray!"
The Leprechaun at first thinks that this is pretty strange, but then, considering that he is talking to a snail, perhaps not.
"And" continues the snail. "I want a bright, golden "S" painted on the doors, the hood and the trunk of my corvette."
"You shall have your wish," responds the Leprechaun.
With the wave of his hand, the snail's wish is granted. And now, whenever the snail roars through the forrest in his shiny new corvette, with the big "S" on the side, all the other animals of the forrest say....
"Wow! Look at that crazy "S" car go!!!!"
**********************3***********************
A young couple were entertaining some French guests and decided to serve snails. The husband went out to get hold of some suitable snails while his wife remained at home preparing for that evening.
It was a nice day, and after he'd got the snails, the husband decided to pop into his local pub for a drink (or two).
Or three. Realising how much time had passed in the pub, he grabbed his coat and snails and ran home knowing that his wife would be wondering where he'd got to. As he charged through the garden gate he tripped and dropped the snails all over the path.
His wife heard the commotion and went to see what was going on. On seeing her husband she asked "Where have you been?"
He looked back at the snails and gestured towards the front door: "Come on lads, nearly there!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~4~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This snail is at the police station. He's telling the officer on duty about how he was just mugged and robbed.
"It was these two turtles!" the snail sobs. "They beat me up and took my money!"
The officer asks "Did you get a good look at them?"
The snail says "No! It all happened so fast!"
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^5^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
What does a snail say when he rides a turtle?
Wheeeeee!!!
