Tales from the LFS: Part 1

ryebread

Active Member
Okay folks......
I am really starting to feel for those of you who work or have worked in a LFS. You really can't begin to understand just how wierd some of these people (the customers) are.
Rye: Hi there, can I help you with anything?
Lost looking woman: Oh yes, I had a couple of questions for you about saltwater.......do you know anything about that?
Rye: Enough to be dangerous.....what didja need?
Flakey woman: Well, I have a son who has been wanting a salt tank ever since he saw that movie......what was it......Homeward Bound?
Rye: ......... Finding Nemo?
Woman: Yeah......that's it! He wants to have a salt tank now and I told him that he has to start small first because it will be way harder to care for a big tank. I got him a 5 gallon one with all of the stuff built into it already and we have it running, but the saltwater is all messed up.
Rye: ............
Woman: I don't know how to figure out how much salt to add. We have been adding the salt slowly so that the fish will be okay, but I can't be sure as to how much salt to add.
Rye: You mean you already have fish in the tank?
Woman: Yeah.......but that isn't what i'm worried about....they're just Guppies from his other tank. I need to know about the salt.
Rye: (In my head) Oh dear Lord.......give me the strength. (Out loud) Well, do you have a hydrometer or have you just been adding what it says on the label?
Woman: It doesn't say how much salt to add to the water on the label. I have been tasting the water and it doesn't taste like the ocean, so I don't know what to do. I don't know what a Hydranome is either. :confused:
Rye:........A hydrometer is what we use to figure out the salt content of the water. It has to be fairly accurate to get the tank started and for fish to be able to live in it. Usually the salt label says to add 1/2 cup of salt to every 2 gallons of water or somewhere around there. What type of salt did you get?
Woman: I dunno....I think it's just Mortons.
Rye: .............
Woman: What?
Rye: ...........Do you mean just regular table salt?
Woman: Is there some other kind?
Rye: ...........
Woman: What?
Rye: I hate to tell you this, but we are going to have to completely start over. I would reccommend reading this book (The Concientious Marine Aquariast) before starting anything up.
Woman: What the hell! That book costs more than the whole tank did! I can't wait to go home and tell my stupid son that he has to dump out his fish tank in the toilet! I wondered why his Guppies kept dying. I don't know if this is such a good idea for him........we don't want to spend much money on this and he only planned on doing it for a couple of months anyway for a project or something at school.
Rye: ........I don't mean to sound bad here, but I wouldn't try this for just a couple of months either.....sometimes the cycle can take that long. (Thinking in my head that I don't even want to get into what a cycle is.) Guppies will never live in your saltwater tank either.......you will be better off getting some true saltwater fish and there aren't many that can fit into a 5 gallon aquarium. It will definitely take some time and patience to get any sort of good results out of it.
Woman: Could I get one of those if I helped him get the tank right? (Pointing at a Purple Firefish)
Rye: Yes actually......that wouldn't be too bad in that tank if everything was running smoothly, you had the top sealed off, and it was the only fish in there.
Woman: Wow that one sure is pretty.......how much is it?
Rye: Those are more expensive than the regular Firefish......they run about $25 a piece. These other Firefish are only $12 though.
Woman: $25 for a stupid little fish!?!? I don't think me or my son realized what really is envolved here.
Rye: Do you have internet access? :D
Woman: Yes why?
Rye: www.saltwaterfish.com :cool: Let me know if you want to get envloved with it.......I honestly would wait though until you have at least a 29 gallon tank......the bigger the tank....the easier it is to care for as far as water quality goes.......they stay more stable.
Woman: :rolleyes:
 

azonic

Active Member
I feel your pain. While I don't work at my LFS, I've been there when some real doozies come in with questions :rolleyes:
 

fishman830

Active Member
hahaha rye, thats funny, do you work at a lfs? or do you just loiter and annoy the customers until the cops take you out in cuffs :);) j/k, that movie make a big impact on this hobby didnt it
 

naturelover

Member
hmm Rye now you probably made a new member runaway by posting your job details.
Ofcourse you are there to make them educated in saltwater so you can have a better customer relationship with them not make them feel like stupid by posting here and tell them to visit here. What if she comes to this site and see this post.
EDIT:...BTW guppies can live in saltwater just like mollies.
Just a thought.
 

bdhough

Active Member
Wow.....
Holy jeez. You now know the agony of LFS workers....
I've heard some things but that about takes the cake.
Once had someone ask me if we sold the tanks in the walls. She was deadly serious. Had another person come into the store about 15 feet and ask me if we sold fish, then left. Another person wanted to buy half the store for their newly setup 180 gallon.... Another person put a 150 dollar french angel into fresh water and REALLY wondered why it died....Aw man i wish i could remember some of the others.
Sometimes i think it may be safe to just lie just so people like that will NEVER buy anything..... Think of the poor fishies :(
 

jarvis

Member
some people are just not cut out to even try a saltwater tank. They usally fall multiple time when trying to put pants on in the morning.
 

scottnj

Member
Lol Thomas I was sort of thinking the same thing, I wonder what here name on the board is going to be.
Actually though, when I first got into salt one of the stores warned me about the costs and lighting. In fact when I said I wanted to get into salt water they suggested I had my head examined. Safe to say the costs of setting up are more then most people ever imagine. Then once your set up man there is just too much cool stuff to do to not spend more money. :)
Anyhow, great story, thanks Rye!
-Scott
 

ryebread

Active Member

Originally posted by NatureLover
hmm Rye now you probably made a new member runaway by posting your job details.
Ofcourse you are there to make them educated in saltwater so you can have a better customer relationship with them not make them feel like stupid by posting here and tell them to visit here. What if she comes to this site and see this post.
EDIT:...BTW guppies can live in saltwater just like mollies.
Just a thought.

Thank you oh so much for making me feel like an absolute jerk. :) I will also have you know that I was the one who was extremely helpful and patient with this customer while the other employees were running into the back room with tears in thier eyes. :) I suppose what I really should have done was promote her and her young one to keep thier freshwater Guppies in thier Morton's Seawater that has been "taste-tested" to perfection?
The swf.com thing was sort of a joke anyway. I asked the woman if she had internet access and then told her that there are many websites out there with tons of info on correctly setting up a saltwater tank. I didn't say go to swf.com directly. I get myself in trouble too much when joking around here. :(
 

wrassecal

Active Member
Aww, Ryan don't worry, that was just me messin with ya. I was in Cinci and bored so I thought I'd come to your lfs and mess with your head. :p Don't worry the water tastes juusst right now.:D
 

naturelover

Member

Originally posted by RyeBread
I didn't say go to swf.com directly. I get myself in trouble too much when joking around here. :(

After reading the whole conversation I thought you did mention SWF (would be better to keep it without streaching so someone like me won't pick on you again), and the keyword was educating people for better relationship.
Sorry you thought I made you feel bad.
Peace. :D
 

rbmount

Active Member
Dealing with the public sucks. I deal with them every day and most are OK, but just when you think you've seen it all..... Same when I owned my bar and restraunt.
 

scotts

Active Member
Yes, working with the public sucks.
However I remember this story. When I was in college I worked at a liqur store. There was always that politeness that you treated the customers with. One time a customer asked where a certain wine was and I pointed it out for him, he was standing right near it. Most people say, "If it was a snake it would have bit me" This guy said "S@#t it was right in front of my f^%$#*g face." The only thing I could do was say "Yes sir" and go in the back room and LMAO.
Scott
 

bdubbya

Member
Just yesterday we had someone call us to see what was the best way to get rid of aptasia. So I went through the different methods. Then I asked him if it was on the rock the glass or both. He told me it was all over the back glass, but that he had gotten it off of the rock. His method of getting it off of the rock was to give it a good washin' in the dishwasher:confused: :eek: ! He washed around 90lbs of live rock.
 
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