What a day!!!

[jcrim]

Went to sleep friday night... everything's fine. Now, 48 hours later I am reflecting on everything that has happened.
My wife (Michelle) wakes me up saturday morning with the words... "My water has broken". My first thought was that this was great, no more waiting and our daughter is coming. I was almost giddy getting ready to go to the hospital.
As I'm getting ready, I see that I've missed 3 calls on my phone from a couple of my friends. I knew I'd call them later with the news. But then my phone rang again so I answered it. It was one of my closest friends. I tell him what's going on and that I can't talk. He tells me that he has something he has to tell me. An old friend of mine committed suicide the night before. He tells me that my friend went to his parent's house and hung himself there... shocking news to say the least. Unfortunately I have no time to allow the news to settle in so I finish getting ready and me and michelle are on our way to the hospital... and I'm still thinking about what I just heard.

 

[jcrim]

We get to the hospital and again I'm getting excited to meet my daughter. We get checked in and get to the room to wait for things to progress.
The doctor comes in soon and checks michelle to see how far along she is... 1.5 cm. Things could still take a while. Michelle is relatively comfortable and the contractions are only causing her minor discomfort at this point. In fact her mom and my mom arrive at the hospital and come in the room. We are all talking for a couple minutes. Michelle's contractions start to increase in strength and the moms leave and we're back to action.
As the contractions start to get worse, we are advised about options for the pain. Michelle does not want an epidural so she decides to take some pain medication. Well this stuff really knocked her out. She instantly became very light-headed and actually starts to doze off. The doctor tells us that although Michelle is not in a lot of pain, the contractions are still increasing in strength so when the medicine wears off, the contractions will "return with a vengeance".

 

[jcrim]

After about an hour of dozing off, Michelle needs to use the bathroom. I help her to the bathroom and then back to bed. The short walk must have sobered her up because almost immediately when she got back into bed, the pain is coming. Only this time it's not just discomfort. I don't know how long these contractions were coming but it seemed like they immediately became almost unbearable for her. Every 2-3 minutes she is suffering unbelievable pain and at this point, I cannot say or do anything to help her.
As I sit in one seat after another and pace around the delivery room, michelle's contractions keep getting worse. I never knew how much pain this could be and feel helpless because there is nothing I can do. As they come, she's sobbing and crying out, "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, IT HURTS SOO BAD". There's nothing I can do to help her. This was the worst experience of my life. I'm watching the person that I love more than anyone in the world suffering like this and I can't even reassure her. I can't tell her it's almost over because we may have 20 more hours of this. I can't tell her it'll get better because it won't. She's looking at me and crying, "I can't do this, I want to go home, I can't, IT HURTS!!" At this point, the baby is far from my mind and I feel a couple tears streaming down my face.

 

[jcrim]

The nurses are coming in the room every so often and I'm just asking them to do something for my wife... anything. Between contractions, michelle asks if she can have more of the pain medicine that she already had. Nope... she just had some less than 2 hours ago and it could be a risk to the baby. Finally, as they again offer her an epidural, Michelle agrees to have it done... anything to stop the pain. As soon as she agrees, she is ready for this to be done NOW. They check her to see how far along she is. 5 cm dilated. They tell us that generally a woman dilates about 1 cm per hour so we probably have another 5 hours of this.
OK, let's get the epidural, where is the anesthesiologist? The nurse tells us she called for them a couple times already and they have not yet responded. At this point, the pain is so severe and the contractions are coming so fast that michelle can do nothing but cry out. She can no longer talk to anyone and I'm still completely useless to help. After what felt like an eternity, the nurse comes in and tells us that the anasthesiologist is busy with a difficult case in ICU. They'll be here as soon as they can. This is outrageous... michelle didn't want this in the first place but now she needs it... NOW! She's scared because the pain is so bad and so am I.

 

[jcrim]

Finally the anastesiologist arrives with the epidural equipment and michelle's ready to end this pain. They ask me to move to the front of michelle so they can apply the epidural in her back. I watch as they are working and michelle is still suffering from these tremendous contractions. The epidural takes about 15 minutes to set up but once they are finished I think that everything will now be ok. The pain is supposed to go away. But it's not going away. What the hell is going on??? She's still suffering just as much as she was before.

 

[jcrim]

Finally, our doctor arrives and checks michelle's progress. She does the exam, looks at michelle and says, "How far along would you like to be?" Obviously the simple answer she gives is "All the way, 10 cm". Well she is 10 cm dilated already and we're ready to start pushing the baby out.
At this point everything changes... I realize that this will be over relatively soon and michelle is almost done. The doctor instructs me to help by holding one of her legs. Finally I can actually do something helpful.

 

[ssweet1]

1st baby eh?? I did the total natural route the first time and I couldnt even get a tylenol!! Next time I was like, give me everything you have and I couldnt believe the difference I had a epidural and it was great!! I actually was looking forward to having the baby instead of when is this frickin pain going to end I am dying here!! You do tend to forget alot of it when the beautiful baby arrives though Good Luck and enjoy your first Christmas together, Carrie

 

[jcrim]

Michelle starts to push and the doctor feels and actually shows me the baby's head. For some reason, the doctor leaves at this point. We continue pushing with the nurse but this was pretty disheartening. Apparently we are not as close as we thougt. But as I look at my wife I am thankful that we are pushing because the pain is no longer overwhelming her. I think that pushing makes her feel like she's got some control over what's happening with her body.
She's not crying any more, she's working her butt off to try to push this baby out. Unfortunately, she'd push during the contraction, we'd see the baby's head progressing but then when the contraction is over, the head retreats back in. Everytime I see the head, I'm saying to my wife, "Come on honey, our daughter's right there!! She's coming out just push!" Michelle is getting so excited to get this baby out. It's kind of funny after a couple of particularly strenuous pushing contractions, the nurse says, "You should just rest through the next contraction... do not push" Michelle ignores this advice and every time the contraction comes, she still pushes with all her strength.

 

[jcrim]

After a while of pushing the doctor comes back in and her presence makes us both feel much better. She's showing us me the head and coaching michelle to push this baby out. I just want to see the head come out because after that, the body is a breeze. With every push, the head gets bigger and I'm getting more excited. Come on... push her out of you... let's end this please. The top of the head's getting bigger and bigger and things are starting to happen. The doctor goes to get her mask and some tools and now I know things are about to happen. Another couple pushes and I can see the head coming out. At this point I don't know if I'm coaching her, speaking in tongues or just screaming as loud as possible. The head comes out... wow... we're almost done. The doctor tells michelle to stop pushing and clears the baby's mouth so she can breath and cry. Once she starts crying, michelle pushes the rest of her body out. Oh my god... it's over!!!
I cut the cord and the doctor and nurses start to clean off my wife and daughter. Michelle is amazing for what she did. I give her a kiss and the baby is placed on her chest. The baby seems to know her right away. My family has arrived.

 

[jcrim]

My daughter is weighed and she is 8 lbs, 0 ounces.... 19 inches long. She's beautiful. Her name is Brooklyn Emma. I stayed in the hospital room with my family last night and we got home a couple hours ago.
I think about what I've gained in the last day and then think about the friend that's gone. Obviously I missed the funeral.
I just wanted to record my experience so that I will remember it later. I have to get back to my wife and daughter now (I'm sure she needs to be changed).
I'll post pictures tomorrow.

 

[tangman99]

Congrats! I've been through it twice with two different wives and it was a first for both of them. You never feel as helpless in your life as you do as a spectator in the delivery room. Your wife sounds like a real trooper. You are in for the best days of your life now. If you felt life was good before, you won't believe how much more your life will become when it all sinks in and you come down off your cloud.
Some advise for the new father. Do everything you can to help your wife out with the baby. It's an exhausting few months ahead, but some of the best memories you will ever have in your life.

 

[mimzy]

Jcrim, you tell an absolutely riveting story.
All the very best to you and your new family, and my deepest regrets to hear about your friend.
We have a saying for times like these... The Lord giveth, and The Lord taketh away.
It's life. And it is as beautiful as it is painful.
My wish for you is to experience mostly the beauty

 

[beth]

Congradulations! As I remember, labor was the most painful experience of my life. But what the heck. The end result was pretty cool.

 

[jdragunas]

oh, jcrim, that brought tears to my eyes!!! Congrats!!! I'm soooo happy you finally have your daughter! Post pics as soon as you can!!!!!!!!

 

[moraymike]

jcrim:
Congrats to you and your wife. Nothing like the feeling of being a new father, is there? It'll definitely change your entire outlook on life (in a wonderful way). Take care of your new family and keep us posted!

 

[jmick]

Congrats, there is nothing more rewarding then being a father! We had our first last February and the months have flown by, make sure you enjoy every moment and take as many pictures as you can.

 

[birdy]

What a beautiful Story Jcrim, congrats to you and your wife, it is nice to hear a mans side of a labor and birth story.
Have a wonderful Christmas with your new daughter...

 

[madison]

jcrim ~ I am so happy for you!!! congrats!!!! and the BEST wishes for you and yours!!!! I cried like a 5 year old school girl!!!!

 

[nflnutswif]

I hope you printed that story, save it for when littlte Brooklyn is older she will Soooo appreciate it! Congratulations Daddy!
My daughters birth was video taped by my brother for an intern class. New proceedure they tried on me!!!! Kimmie really hates to watch it so far! LOL

 

[jdragunas]

jcrim, i have a grand idea:
you should use that heart-wrenching story as the first entry in a journal you should keep of your daughter. You should write in it everytime you feel overwhelming emotions about her... good ones, bad ones, frustration, anxiety, jealousy, etc. Keep it until she turns 16, 18, 21, or whatever age you feel good about, and give it to her as a birthday present. You should include pictures, heirlooms, awards (from school, beauty pagents, etc.), and anything that you feel is important in raising your daughter. Talk about little stories about her in it too... "the other day, brooklyn did this...". I'm telling you, that will be the best gift you could ever give someone. Then you and her can read it together when she's older... you have no idea how much you forget, but with a journal to write it in, you can read it all again and go "oh yeah, i remember that". Share it with your wife. You can both make entries. Do it handwritten, so it's more personal...
sorry for all of the instructions... i'm a little crafty, and i love scrapbooking opportunities!!!