If you can go refuge system there are cool ones with the skimmer return pump heater ect all in one.
Basically what you need for refuge:
Refuge tank that fits where you plan to put it, either on back or under tank in stand or next to tank in a cabinet or something.
something to get the water from the tank, if its glass without holes in it, theres a system that works called an overflow tube. I recommend the CPR overflow, or one of those systems all in one from aquatic life support.
Then a heater, any brand works just make sure it is break resistant, and has the temperature setting numbers on it, some don't makes it hard to know how hot its set for.
You'll need a protien Skimmer best are Eheim but they are very expensive, you'll want one that at least pulls all your water through hourly maybe 50 gallons an hour since you'll have the tank water plus refuge water. Coral Life makes good ones too that are not to expensive.
In your refuge don't use bioballs they eventually will dump nitrates and kill your system (may take a few years but it happens). Instead use live rock rubble (live rock thats broken into small bits put it in the media chamber and put a simple prefilter pad on it).
Then a simple return pump, thats all you need, have it return in each corner. The pump size should be about 20x the tank so a small pump with 600 maybe even 800 gallons per hour is all you need.
Now I know this may sound, more difficult to set up but its not its actually much easier in the long run.
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Now if you can't get yourself to buy the refuge system, back mount systems work as well.
Now for lighting, all have advantages, the "creme of the crop" is metal halides, they cost more to run but by far cover all the needs for any reef, but second in line are PC or power compacts. Coralife makes a ton of options from super cheap to super expensive (i recommend going with what you'll want now, and want later as you learn and buy more variety) better to buy once then upgrade. Again I'd be happy to walk you through a menu of options and pick whats best.
Now the fun, what goes inside! I'll break it up to month of 3:
First 3 months:
Sand bottom (you mentioned you want) Use Argonite it's the most benificial for sand bottom, u want no more than 2 inches (Huge debate amongst the community of reefing but trust me I have more than 2 inches and have spent hours sucking out the "extra" for months now, slowly over time). Use live sand Coralife is great.
Now You want about 50 lbs of Live rock, when you order it specifically tell them how wide and tall your tank is so you don't get something to big, but if you do live rock is brittle so you can simply tap it with a hammer where you wish and break it up. 3 to 5 pieces is all you need to make a nice little pile with a few "caves".
4 to 6 months:
Cleaning Crew, get some hermits anykind you wish up to 30 if you really go nuts but lets stay sane and say get 5.
Then some turbo snails, Mexican is what I have or if you like others theres a wide choice, *****
If you want at this time you choose 2 fish max. I say this because I want you to have some life in the tank but at the same time not over tax your "virgin" bio filteration growing in the tank.
Theres a 1000 choices, but I can help you pick 2 happy mates that will be happy with your future plans as well. Common first choices are, any clown fish (specially because they are exciting to have, swim funny and are so cute, then theres the fact they will pick a coral or anemone to host in which is just too cool). They also live in pairs so u could pick two from the start and they will eventually mate as they are born hermaphidites then choose male or female as they grow up together to become mates.
(oops to long will continue below)
