Originally Posted by
jennythebugg
http:///forum/post/2545222
Tobins niece got her 2 kids (ages almost 4 and just turned 6 ) taken away by cps because she hit them so tobins mom and dad have them during the night and i have them during the day ,. i have the boy all day and the girl after school till tobins mom comes and gets them at about 6 pm. the boy as i mentioned is almost 4 and is still in diapers!!!! he is making no attempts to cooperate with potty training and you can't understand a single word out of his mouth because he still baby talks. the girl is a complete monster she yells at her teachers and kicks them and throws things at school ,when she is here after school she wont listen she talks back and bullies her little brother and my kids.she closed my son in the dryer and was laughing about it!! she got sent home from school this morning for hitting her teacher and kicking her....aaaaggghhh what would you do ?? they arent going to let her back tomorrow either so the monster will be here all day tomorrow too.
I am just taking a guess here . But mommy has a substance abuse problem? She hasn't really given the kids a good foundation of disipline and love . Now your forced into fixing this . Your going to need the help of some profesionals . Best thing I can advise is to remember these kids are starting off disatvantaged . Your expecting the 4 year old to be a normal 4 year old . When devlopmentaly your describing an 18 month old . As far as pooty training goes your going to have to start from scratch . Maybe try taking him to the bathroom everytime somebody else goes , put a short book in there and read it to him to keep him focused on sitting there with you . As far as not understanding what he says . you need to mix it between correcting him with the proper way to say the word and then ignoring him if he doesn't say it right . Explain that you can not understand him and he needs to talk like a big boy . It seams like others in your family might not have as big of a problem with this you need to get them on the same page as you. Because if your being firm in restructuring the child and grandma and grandpa arent and let the baby talk and diaper action slide then your only going to fight and fight it .
The little girl just needs a come to jesus . I'm not sure how she was explained the situation of being taken away from her mom , but thats a tool for you to use right there . Explain to her that she can not act out on her feelings like she is that she will be taken away again . Explain to her that she can express her emotions but it needs to be in a controled manner . Honestly you need to be on this one like a hawk . I'm talking up her butt and around the corner . When she acts out now how are you handeling it ? What kind of punishment is she reciving . Your going to have to break her will on this . She is acting out . You need to stay calm but firm . when she acts up be firm in the punishment hold her to it to the end . no special treatment during the punishment. If she acts out while being punished start it over and explain to her she is in control of how long/sever her punishment is . She can make it end sooner by just acting right while its happening . she can also keep it from happening by being a good girl in the future . she has to realize she is in control of being good with your guidence .
Also sounds like a lot of the problem is acting up out of boardem . Keeping the oldest busy will help . acting out at school brings up a question . Is she overly/under challanged by the work ? she could be acting out there out of frustration . she could be board by the work or not understand it . Dig into that problem . Is there a councilor at her school you can contact and get help addressing the acting out in school part ?
