Would you share this story with your kids?

crimzy

crimzy

Active Member
I was pretty torn about whether I would tell my kids about the boy in Brooklyn whose body was found dismembered after he was abducted. On one hand, my girls are only 4 and 5 and it could be very scary to them, however on the other hand I sometimes think that my lectures about "stranger danger" go in one ear and out the other and the true impact is not realized. At the end I decided to tell them about the boy and about him being killed by a stranger who he got into a car with, but left out the grisly details of the dismembering, etc. This story scared the hell out of me when I heard about it and I felt like I had to emphasize the danger to my girls.
If you haven't heard the story, here it is...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43736497/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/
Your thoughts?
 
mantisman51

mantisman51

Active Member
I doubt I would go into detail, but would absolutely tell my kids about it. I always taught my son and two daughters to scream like a banshie and kick and scream if someone grabbed them, because what kidnappers would do when they got them alone was far worse than what they'd do in public no matter what they were threatened with to stay quiet. It sucks that we have to impose on their innocence, but it's a dangerous world for kids.
 
meowzer

meowzer

Moderator
I agree with the NOT going into detail, BUT telling the kids the basic story......so sad these days that we have to be so fearful....BUT...we do, and kids have no clue
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member
I have done just like you did. I teach my kids the harsh reality of our world....while sensoring anything graphic that might instill nightmares. The world is tough and cruel at times, and kids need to know this for their own protection.
 
S

smartorl

Guest
This brings up a funny story. I have a good friend who lives in rural NJ. Her husband is a Rutgar's professor and they live this happy, pretty, normal white picket fence life. She is the Brownie and Girl Scout Leader. Her husband does boy scouts and 4-H. Her husband plays the organ at church and bass in the local rock band.
She has a busy highway that runs close to their property that has always worried her as well as them dashing into the path of an oncoming car in parking lots, etc. She is absolutely phobic about one of her kids getting hit.
Her remedy? She looks for road kill to show them the damage that a car can do. She has done this with each of her children. One day I was on the phone with her and she said hold on and came back a minute later saying she saw a dead deer but it wasn't "gnarly" enough. She was out looking for an example for her youngest.
I swear in every other way she is as normal as normal can be. It just cracks me up, and leaves me a little puzzled, lol.
I agree with sharing this example with them but not going into all the "gnarly" details but you have to be prepared because kids (at least mine) seem to be a bit morbid and their curiosity gets piqued and they just won't let things be!
That story was just tragic. As a mother of three kids, I would never have allowed my 8 year old to have made that trip alone..........PERIOD. This little boy did not need to die and it did aggrevate me that this situation was made so easy for a freak. I also know that my kids KNEW not to talk to strangers, I wonder if this kid was ever given those warnings. I guess hindsight is always 20/20 but when it's something as precious as your child, you really shouldn't leave anything to chance.
 
darthtang aw

darthtang aw

Active Member

This brings up a funny story. I have a good friend who lives in rural NJ. Her husband is a Rutgar's professor and they live this happy, pretty, normal white picket fence life. She is the Brownie and Girl Scout Leader. Her husband does boy scouts and 4-H. Her husband plays the organ at church and bass in the local rock band.

She has a busy highway that runs close to their property that has always worried her as well as them dashing into the path of an oncoming car in parking lots, etc. She is absolutely phobic about one of her kids getting hit.

Her remedy? She looks for road kill to show them the damage that a car can do. She has done this with each of her children. One day I was on the phone with her and she said hold on and came back a minute later saying she saw a dead deer but it wasn't "gnarly" enough. She was out looking for an example for her youngest.

I swear in every other way she is as normal as normal can be. It just cracks me up, and leaves me a little puzzled, lol.

I agree with sharing this example with them but not going into all the "gnarly" details but you have to be prepared because kids (at least mine) seem to be a bit morbid and their curiosity gets piqued and they just won't let things be!

That story was just tragic. As a mother of three kids, I would never have allowed my 8 year old to have made that trip alone..........PERIOD. This little boy did not need to die and it did aggrevate me that this situation was made so easy for a freak. I also know that my kids KNEW not to talk to strangers, I wonder if this kid was ever given those warnings. I guess hindsight is always 20/20 but when it's something as precious as your child, you really shouldn't leave anything to chance.
My kids don't go outside without one of us. Even my 12 year old can't go down the block by herself. Maybe if I lived in the country, but in the city.....ain't happenin.
Darth (tight rope) Tang
 
al&burke

al&burke

Active Member
I agree - I went to Chicago with my 10 year old anytime I stopped for gas or where ever we went he was always within arms reach or holding my hand. We were at a competition a couple of the parents took their kids on a train into Chicago. At one stop the kids got confused exited the train and as the parents were trying to get out the doors slammed shut. I know the parents and they are good responsible parents, they were mortified they left a 15 and 10 year old behind at night at a train stop. Luckily a very kind couple on the train seen what happened and told them their car was at the next stop and immediately took them to the stop where their kids were. Before the drove they stopped at security and they immediately had the police dispatched to the missed stop. I think I would have jumped through he window. Luckily the kids were there when they got back - it was the worse 10 minutes of their lives. You just never know in this world!!!!
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
I give them the basics and if I didn't think it was making an impact I would go into details. I'd rather have a traumatized child than a abducted one.
 
gemmy

gemmy

Active Member
It depends on the age. Under ten I would tell them the story with no gory details. Over ten I would tell them with all the gory details. They may have nightmares, but I would know they would think twice.
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
The sad bottom line is that we live in a society where you can not leave your kids alone. Not because you can't trust them, but because there are too many disgusting evil perverts out there who spend their entire waking time looking for an opportunity to do evil.
I saw some video on TV recently of Phillip Garrido (kidnapper of Jaycee Dugard) where his wife was pretending to take video of him, but really she was taking video of the kids in the background playing in a playground. Perverts.
Myself as a child I actually had 3 incidents involving dangerous perverts. Fortunately, I was never abducted or abused, but 2 of these were close calls.
Parents just have to arm their kids with protection. There is no safe neighborhood, school, etc.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by crimzy http:///forum/thread/386683/would-you-share-this-story-with-your-kids#post_3397759
I was pretty torn about whether I would tell my kids about the boy in Brooklyn whose body was found dismembered after he was abducted. On one hand, my girls are only 4 and 5 and it could be very scary to them, however on the other hand I sometimes think that my lectures about "stranger danger" go in one ear and out the other and the true impact is not realized. At the end I decided to tell them about the boy and about him being killed by a stranger who he got into a car with, but left out the grisly details of the dismembering, etc. This story scared the hell out of me when I heard about it and I felt like I had to emphasize the danger to my girls.
If you haven't heard the story, here it is...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/43736497/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/
Your thoughts?
I'm really into crime stuff..cold case files, and such programs....Stranger danger is very good EXCEPT..most children are killed by someone they know. A neighbor, an uncle with a twisted mind nobody suspected, even a teacher at school. Teach your children to ONLY go with you or mom. Give them a code word that ONLY the parents and the children know (make sure they keep it a secret and drill it in to only go if the code word is used, everyday as they go off to school or a friends house) sitting at dinner ask them to tell you the code word so they know it, so nobody can get the children to get into a car unless they can say the code word.
True story:
My Daughters house burned down, she had 5 children and had to seperate them to different houses until she could get a new place and have what she needed to care for them. 3 were in school and two were too young. The two smallest girls remained at the teachers house for three weeks and the oldest stayed with a friend so they could go to school. The younger girls knew the teacher very well.
Fast forward . The same sweet teacher saw the girls walking in the rain to go home from school...the teacher offered a ride and the girls refused, no matter how much the teacher told them to get in , they would not..she even scolded them and told them to get into the car NOW! and the girls ran away. The teacher thought it odd and called my daughter about it that evening. My daughter explained that her children only get in a car without Mom or Dad if they know the code word..period. The teacher was very impressed.
Doing this can save your childs life, the crazy killer is not always a stranger. In the acid test my grandchildren did the right thing, they may have gotten a little wet but they are safer than getting in a car, when no parents know they took a ride.
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
I would say forget the code word and teach your children that no one will need to be taking them anywhere unless you hear directly from me otherwise. No one, means no one else, period.
 
T

tizzo

Guest
Perfect thread to vent... Oh HI CRIMZY How ya doing!! Haven't seen you in a while.
Anyway, my rant:
They now have an app, I heard about on the news, that when a child predator is in your area, this app will immediately send you a text. Sounds great and all, but if this guy is a danger, how come I need to take my kids inside and "hide" while he's walking around as if nothing is wrong!! It irks me that the "good" people have to hide and live in fear because there arent any REAL consequences for the wrong doers!
More good people stay in, more bad people stay out- how bad is it gonna get?
 
btldreef

btldreef

Moderator
The sad part is that in the community where this happened, even though it's part of NYC, they're very sheltered. Almost everyone is of the same religion and everyone feels safe.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tizzo http:///forum/thread/386683/would-you-share-this-story-with-your-kids#post_3398940
Perfect thread to vent... Oh HI CRIMZY How ya doing!! Haven't seen you in a while.
Anyway, my rant:
They now have an app, I heard about on the news, that when a child predator is in your area, this app will immediately send you a text. Sounds great and all, but if this guy is a danger, how come I need to take my kids inside and "hide" while he's walking around as if nothing is wrong!! It irks me that the "good" people have to hide and live in fear because there arent any REAL consequences for the wrong doers!
More good people stay in, more bad people stay out- how bad is it gonna get?
This is done because of parents complaints. You don't have to hide your children, IMO the guy you know about is not the one to worry about....the one you don't know about is the one to fear. If anyone, and I mean anyone pays too much attention to your children, it's a red flag.
Beth, consider this..... an uncle that your children have known all their lives and trust can go to the kids and say mom or dad had a problem and you wanted them to come pick them up. Believe me, the child would go with them and not think twice about it. A code word works. Nobody can say mom or dad sent me if they don't know the code word. Emergency situations do happen, and you might just need family to be able to pick up the kids, a code word protects them and also allows for emergencies. I think it's the best thing the police ever came up with for us to teach our children.
 
beth

beth

Administrator
Staff member
It could be, but my feeling is that a code can be passed out. What if uncle was not able to pick the kids up, and decided to ask his older son to pick the kids up, or his wife, who you don't particularly want to pick up your kids but who uncle feels is fine.
If you have an alarm system, the first thing the company says to you upon install is that do not give out your master code to anyone. Well, I'd probably be more cautious with my kid then with my house. The only emergency I can think of that I might not be available to speak directly to my kid would be if I was in a medical emergency or unconscious. My kid would presumably be at school, in which case the police will need to be involved before releasing my kid, or the kids are already with someone I had approved of and left them with.
In terms of my kid being picked up at school. I had my best friend and mom listed with the school. They were the only ones who could pick up my son.
However, I hear ya. Parents have got to decide what is best. The parents in this horror story did nothing wrong whatsoever. The killer did it.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beth http:///forum/thread/386683/would-you-share-this-story-with-your-kids#post_3398975
It could be, but my feeling is that a code can be passed out. What if uncle was not able to pick the kids up, and decided to ask his older son to pick the kids up, or his wife, who you don't particularly want to pick up your kids but who uncle feels is fine.
If you have an alarm system, the first thing the company says to you upon install is that do not give out your master code to anyone. Well, I'd probably be more cautious with my kid then with my house. The only emergency I can think of that I might not be available to speak directly to my kid would be if I was in a medical emergency or unconscious. My kid would presumably be at school, in which case the police will need to be involved before releasing my kid, or the kids are already with someone I had approved of and left them with.
In terms of my kid being picked up at school. I had my best friend and mom listed with the school. They were the only ones who could pick up my son.
However, I hear ya. Parents have got to decide what is best. The parents in this horror story did nothing wrong whatsoever. The killer did it.
I agree, it's an evil world, and nothing is full proof. My heart goes out to those who have been victims of these horrible people who harm children. What a monster...and they look like the rest of us.
However, I still think the code is a good idea, most people don't know my grandchildren even have a code. They didn't ask the teacher for a code...they kept saying no thanks to the ride. Until the code is used the kids don't ride. They also change the code, I have no idea how often, I don't even know it. My daughter told the kids even Nana can't pick them up without giving the code. For a moment it hurt my feelings, but it drove a point home to the children, because if even Nana must have a code, then everyone absolutly must.
 
java1

java1

Member
What I like about Bang Guy:
1. His favorite toy is a toilet plunger
2. He made out with beth in sasquatch's forest
3. He terrorizes Mars
4. He is a [Fill in the Blank]
5. He turns my eyes into holes
6. He reminds me of BTLDReef
 
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