tang master
Member
why are you calling me uncle? trust me im old enough to know that you dont belong on these forums.
California or Massachusetts?
- Thread starter jtt
- Start date
U
usirchchris
Guest
Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3125706
Actually, my first wife and I split up after 6 years because we decided we wanted different things in life. I was content with my career, and she decided she wanted to pursue her lifetime aspiration, becoming a lawyer (talk about a mistake.
). I wasn't willing to drop everything I worked for for almost 15 years to go to some college town for her to go to law school for three years. We're actually still good friends. She just wrote up some living will documents for my mother at no charge.
I dated my first wife for 2 years before we got married. Look how that turned out. My second wife and I were dating for less than six months before we had our little 'accident'. We've been happily married now for over 17 years. So you tell me why 'waiting' makes a difference.
Perhaps I am an idiot for suggesting he pace himself, however, with your first wife if you had gone with my 5 year plan...I am guessing you saw signs of your lives pulling apart before that 6th year. Hopefully it was an amicable split and she did not take half your stuff, the house, and the dog, or vice versa for her. Many are not so lucky. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be, and a few years of learning will make no difference. IMO. But caution to the wind for you and anyone else if you will...Makes no difference to me
.
http:///forum/post/3125706
Actually, my first wife and I split up after 6 years because we decided we wanted different things in life. I was content with my career, and she decided she wanted to pursue her lifetime aspiration, becoming a lawyer (talk about a mistake.
I dated my first wife for 2 years before we got married. Look how that turned out. My second wife and I were dating for less than six months before we had our little 'accident'. We've been happily married now for over 17 years. So you tell me why 'waiting' makes a difference.
Perhaps I am an idiot for suggesting he pace himself, however, with your first wife if you had gone with my 5 year plan...I am guessing you saw signs of your lives pulling apart before that 6th year. Hopefully it was an amicable split and she did not take half your stuff, the house, and the dog, or vice versa for her. Many are not so lucky. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be, and a few years of learning will make no difference. IMO. But caution to the wind for you and anyone else if you will...Makes no difference to me
t316
Active Member
Originally Posted by Cranberry
http:///forum/post/3125755
He asked for thoughts on where to have the wedding, not whether or not should.... just saying.
Thank you Cranberry. I'm exiting out of this one too then....
http:///forum/post/3125755
He asked for thoughts on where to have the wedding, not whether or not should.... just saying.
Thank you Cranberry. I'm exiting out of this one too then....
scotts
Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3125514
You probably have not even heard her fart yet.
I love how this is the great measuring stick test of a relationship.
It is funny 'cause it's true.
http:///forum/post/3125514
You probably have not even heard her fart yet.
I love how this is the great measuring stick test of a relationship.
It is funny 'cause it's true.
scotts
Active Member
Originally Posted by lovethesea
http:///forum/post/3125502
Now almost 19 years to the day (27 years of being together),
When did you two meet, in 3rd grade?
http:///forum/post/3125502
Now almost 19 years to the day (27 years of being together),
When did you two meet, in 3rd grade?
Originally Posted by Tang Master
http:///forum/post/3125929
why are you calling me uncle?
That might be the funniest thing I've seen all week!
http:///forum/post/3125929
why are you calling me uncle?
That might be the funniest thing I've seen all week!
reefraff
Active Member
You never really know a person until you lived with them 24/7, I don't care how long you have been "dating". My "first time" was my wedding night. Knowing what I know now I would recommend people live together at least a few months before getting married. If you want to be a fine upstanding Christian omit the physical part but I think in my list of sins diddling with the GF before we got married is going to be pretty far down on the list.
bionicarm
Active Member
Originally Posted by usirchchris
http:///forum/post/3125993
Perhaps I am an idiot for suggesting he pace himself, however, with your first wife if you had gone with my 5 year plan...I am guessing you saw signs of your lives pulling apart before that 6th year. Hopefully it was an amicable split and she did not take half your stuff, the house, and the dog, or vice versa for her. Many are not so lucky. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be, and a few years of learning will make no difference. IMO. But caution to the wind for you and anyone else if you will...Makes no difference to me
.
She got the dog and cat, I got to keep my 401K.
We dated for over two years before we got married, one of those years was just living together. Five years isn't logical in today's society unless you're some kid straight out of high school or college. Personally, I don't think anyone should contemplate marriage until they are at least in their late 20's and early 30's. Any sooner than that, and you end up with a partner that didn't get to truly enjoy their '20's wild life and living pahse'. That was the problem with my first wife. She was only 24, and when we did start talking about marriage, her Dad said you have two choices - 1) I pay for an extravagent wedding, or 2) I pay for your law school. She chose the wedding. Six years later she decided she made a mistake by taking the wedding. Mainly because two of her closest friends finished law school, and she got the 'itch'. After she got a 42 on the LSAT, then accepted to both UT Law and Harvard, she was hooked. There was no 'pulling apart' involved. We had a very comfortable life, no kids, traveled around the world, and had no financial worries. It was nothing more than a career decision. I would've had to leave a company I helped build from the ground to move to a town that I couldn't possibly start over again. She could've gone to a local law school, but she didn't want to compromise. It was her way or the highway. She chose the highway...
http:///forum/post/3125993
Perhaps I am an idiot for suggesting he pace himself, however, with your first wife if you had gone with my 5 year plan...I am guessing you saw signs of your lives pulling apart before that 6th year. Hopefully it was an amicable split and she did not take half your stuff, the house, and the dog, or vice versa for her. Many are not so lucky. If it is meant to be, it is meant to be, and a few years of learning will make no difference. IMO. But caution to the wind for you and anyone else if you will...Makes no difference to me
She got the dog and cat, I got to keep my 401K.
We dated for over two years before we got married, one of those years was just living together. Five years isn't logical in today's society unless you're some kid straight out of high school or college. Personally, I don't think anyone should contemplate marriage until they are at least in their late 20's and early 30's. Any sooner than that, and you end up with a partner that didn't get to truly enjoy their '20's wild life and living pahse'. That was the problem with my first wife. She was only 24, and when we did start talking about marriage, her Dad said you have two choices - 1) I pay for an extravagent wedding, or 2) I pay for your law school. She chose the wedding. Six years later she decided she made a mistake by taking the wedding. Mainly because two of her closest friends finished law school, and she got the 'itch'. After she got a 42 on the LSAT, then accepted to both UT Law and Harvard, she was hooked. There was no 'pulling apart' involved. We had a very comfortable life, no kids, traveled around the world, and had no financial worries. It was nothing more than a career decision. I would've had to leave a company I helped build from the ground to move to a town that I couldn't possibly start over again. She could've gone to a local law school, but she didn't want to compromise. It was her way or the highway. She chose the highway...
bionicarm
Active Member
Originally Posted by Flower
http:///forum/post/3125920
Friend, I didn't say dump her...I said take your time. He can live life to the fullest with his beloved and enjoy every moment. The ONLY difference...a lousy piece of paper. A piece of paper that costs thousands to undo later...so enjoy life to the fullest and WAIT on that piece of paper.
What is so hard about that?
So you prefer the 'living together' approach when it comes to a relationship. Sorry, but sometimes that's not feasible. How about they decide they want to buy a house? How about health care? Can't have just one health care plan if you're not married. So you spend twice the amount to make sure you're covered? What happens if one of them has a major health emergency? If they aren't married, neither of them has a say as to what kind of treatment they receive, if they want to stay on life support, etc. If one of them dies, the living partner has no legal rights to their property, their life insurance, their bank accounts, nothing. Unfortunately, that 'piece of paper' is quite important when it comes to the legal and medical issues of a relationship.
http:///forum/post/3125920
Friend, I didn't say dump her...I said take your time. He can live life to the fullest with his beloved and enjoy every moment. The ONLY difference...a lousy piece of paper. A piece of paper that costs thousands to undo later...so enjoy life to the fullest and WAIT on that piece of paper.
What is so hard about that?
So you prefer the 'living together' approach when it comes to a relationship. Sorry, but sometimes that's not feasible. How about they decide they want to buy a house? How about health care? Can't have just one health care plan if you're not married. So you spend twice the amount to make sure you're covered? What happens if one of them has a major health emergency? If they aren't married, neither of them has a say as to what kind of treatment they receive, if they want to stay on life support, etc. If one of them dies, the living partner has no legal rights to their property, their life insurance, their bank accounts, nothing. Unfortunately, that 'piece of paper' is quite important when it comes to the legal and medical issues of a relationship.
U
usirchchris
Guest
Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3126179
She got the dog and cat, I got to keep my 401K.
We dated for over two years before we got married, one of those years was just living together. Five years isn't logical in today's society unless you're some kid straight out of high school or college. Personally, I don't think anyone should contemplate marriage until they are at least in their late 20's and early 30's. Any sooner than that, and you end up with a partner that didn't get to truly enjoy their '20's wild life and living pahse'. That was the problem with my first wife. She was only 24, and when we did start talking about marriage, her Dad said you have two choices - 1) I pay for an extravagent wedding, or 2) I pay for your law school. She chose the wedding. Six years later she decided she made a mistake by taking the wedding. Mainly because two of her closest friends finished law school, and she got the 'itch'. After she got a 42 on the LSAT, then accepted to both UT Law and Harvard, she was hooked. There was no 'pulling apart' involved. We had a very comfortable life, no kids, traveled around the world, and had no financial worries. It was nothing more than a career decision. I would've had to leave a company I helped build from the ground to move to a town that I couldn't possibly start over again. She could've gone to a local law school, but she didn't want to compromise. It was her way or the highway. She chose the highway...
That's a tough call she had to make, tough call for you as well. I completely agree with the age variable in regards to marriage. I am a completely different person from 20-25, and now much further from 25 at 30...kind of scares me what 40 will bring. Perhaps I am too cautious, or am scared of commitment ultimately...dunno...5 years in the making and I truly love my Fiance' and am now prepared to make that step, but would not have dreamed of marrying in less than a year...but I would not have moved cross country even if it was Adriana Lima within that first year either. Some handle risk better than others and the payoff can be awesome or detrimental. I fear the latter too much.
http:///forum/post/3126179
She got the dog and cat, I got to keep my 401K.
We dated for over two years before we got married, one of those years was just living together. Five years isn't logical in today's society unless you're some kid straight out of high school or college. Personally, I don't think anyone should contemplate marriage until they are at least in their late 20's and early 30's. Any sooner than that, and you end up with a partner that didn't get to truly enjoy their '20's wild life and living pahse'. That was the problem with my first wife. She was only 24, and when we did start talking about marriage, her Dad said you have two choices - 1) I pay for an extravagent wedding, or 2) I pay for your law school. She chose the wedding. Six years later she decided she made a mistake by taking the wedding. Mainly because two of her closest friends finished law school, and she got the 'itch'. After she got a 42 on the LSAT, then accepted to both UT Law and Harvard, she was hooked. There was no 'pulling apart' involved. We had a very comfortable life, no kids, traveled around the world, and had no financial worries. It was nothing more than a career decision. I would've had to leave a company I helped build from the ground to move to a town that I couldn't possibly start over again. She could've gone to a local law school, but she didn't want to compromise. It was her way or the highway. She chose the highway...
That's a tough call she had to make, tough call for you as well. I completely agree with the age variable in regards to marriage. I am a completely different person from 20-25, and now much further from 25 at 30...kind of scares me what 40 will bring. Perhaps I am too cautious, or am scared of commitment ultimately...dunno...5 years in the making and I truly love my Fiance' and am now prepared to make that step, but would not have dreamed of marrying in less than a year...but I would not have moved cross country even if it was Adriana Lima within that first year either. Some handle risk better than others and the payoff can be awesome or detrimental. I fear the latter too much.
bulldog123
Member
Originally Posted by DragonZim
http:///forum/post/3126061
That might be the funniest thing I've seen all week!
He doesnt get the peanut butter joke either.
http:///forum/post/3126061
That might be the funniest thing I've seen all week!
He doesnt get the peanut butter joke either.
tang master
Member
dude, nobody gets the peanut butter joke.
reefraff
Active Member
Originally Posted by usirchchris
http:///forum/post/3126193
That's a tough call she had to make, tough call for you as well. I completely agree with the age variable in regards to marriage. I am a completely different person from 20-25, and now much further from 25 at 30...kind of scares me what 40 will bring. Perhaps I am too cautious, or am scared of commitment ultimately...dunno...5 years in the making and I truly love my Fiance' and am now prepared to make that step, but would not have dreamed of marrying in less than a year...but I would not have moved cross country even if it was Adriana Lima within that first year either. Some handle risk better than others and the payoff can be awesome or detrimental. I fear the latter too much.
I think there should be a law that you can't get married until you are 25. Most people, especially guys really change from their late teens until they hit the mid 20's.
Of course I am beginning to change my opinion that girls mature faster than guys. You see the promos for those girls gone wild videos? What a bunch of complete idiots, I don't care if they are drunk.
http:///forum/post/3126193
That's a tough call she had to make, tough call for you as well. I completely agree with the age variable in regards to marriage. I am a completely different person from 20-25, and now much further from 25 at 30...kind of scares me what 40 will bring. Perhaps I am too cautious, or am scared of commitment ultimately...dunno...5 years in the making and I truly love my Fiance' and am now prepared to make that step, but would not have dreamed of marrying in less than a year...but I would not have moved cross country even if it was Adriana Lima within that first year either. Some handle risk better than others and the payoff can be awesome or detrimental. I fear the latter too much.
I think there should be a law that you can't get married until you are 25. Most people, especially guys really change from their late teens until they hit the mid 20's.
Of course I am beginning to change my opinion that girls mature faster than guys. You see the promos for those girls gone wild videos? What a bunch of complete idiots, I don't care if they are drunk.
deejeff442
Active Member
i truly believe the only reason to get married is if you plan to have children together in the near future.
if you dont have the cash to barely support yourself now wait till you have kids.
if you dont plan to have kids right away then i say live together untill that time comes.
gotta get that new car smell out first.
maybe even get engaged and not set a date if you need that security.
if you dont have the cash to barely support yourself now wait till you have kids.
if you dont plan to have kids right away then i say live together untill that time comes.
gotta get that new car smell out first.
maybe even get engaged and not set a date if you need that security.
jtt
Member
Hey guys sorry but I dont have internet at my place, so I havnt been able to come back and check on the thread, personally I kinda like when I get to let it marinate for a day or two and come back to 55 posts on it. However the question was NOT whether or not we should get married, nor was it a question of how well we know eachother, and it was certainly not an invitation for people to high jack the thread and argue their personal views and tell their personal stories about pros and cons about when to get married. it was a simple question, CA or MA
Thanks for nothing!
Thanks for nothing!