California or Massachusetts?

t316

t316

Active Member
Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3125687
And please don't listen to the idiots here... I got divorced from my first wife in October...
So who's the idiot? Marry the right woman the first time. He asked for 'thoughts', so he's getting them.
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3125514
I think you start re-directing the wedding plans for another year out. I remember the threads, you just met this girl dude. You probably have not even heard her fart yet. I hate to sound down, but step back for a second before you do this, and really get to know her.
+1 not to mention you said you were really broke...you are not ready for marriage.
If you really do love this girl and she loves you…time is nothing. Real love can stand the test of time. If it is real love it will last, but if you break up in a year no harm done.
A bad marriage will last a lifetime. Wait 1 year to get to know this person you think you can stand a lifetime with, then wait another year before proposing, then wait another year before getting married…
You have your whole life, what’s the rush????
 
bionicarm

bionicarm

Active Member
Originally Posted by T316
http:///forum/post/3125689
So who's the idiot? Marry the right woman the first time. He asked for 'thoughts', so he's getting them.
Actually, my first wife and I split up after 6 years because we decided we wanted different things in life. I was content with my career, and she decided she wanted to pursue her lifetime aspiration, becoming a lawyer (talk about a mistake.
). I wasn't willing to drop everything I worked for for almost 15 years to go to some college town for her to go to law school for three years. We're actually still good friends. She just wrote up some living will documents for my mother at no charge.
I dated my first wife for 2 years before we got married. Look how that turned out. My second wife and I were dating for less than six months before we had our little 'accident'. We've been happily married now for over 17 years. So you tell me why 'waiting' makes a difference.
 
ironeagle2006

ironeagle2006

Active Member
Sometimes dating someone for a long time is the WORSE thing you can do. My mother can attest to this. Her first husband she dated him for 4 years married him After she graduated from College and then HE LEFT HER 2 years later all he married HER for was to get his own degree. She then met my father 8 weeks after they met they were married. It will be 41 years this November.
In my case I dated my Ex for 7 months and married her BIG MISTAKE. Divorced 6 years later. I then met my wife online and we were married 7 months after my first divorce was FINAL.
 
bionicarm

bionicarm

Active Member
As far as where you should have the wedding, I would have it wherever it costs you the least amount of money. It kills me when people spend thousands of dollars on these extravegant weddings. Yes, it's one of the most important days of your life, but you shouldn't have to take out a second m0rtgage to enjoy it.
 
bionicarm

bionicarm

Active Member
Originally Posted by Flower
http:///forum/post/3125699
+1 not to mention you said you were really broke...you are not ready for marriage.
If you really do love this girl and she loves you…time is nothing. Real love can stand the test of time. If it is real love it will last, but if you break up in a year no harm done.
A bad marriage will last a lifetime. Wait 1 year to get to know this person you think you can stand a lifetime with, then wait another year before proposing, then wait another year before getting married…
You have your whole life, what’s the rush????
How do you know how long his life will be? He could walk out his front door tomorrow and get hit by a Mac truck. Live your life for today. Tomorrow may never come...
 
reefraff

reefraff

Active Member
I am in the same boat as Bionic. Knew/dated first wife for nearly 2 years. What a disaster. Second wife we both knew in a matter of weeks, from fist date to marriage was 8 months. We moved in together after 3 months.
Of course we were both in our mid 30's too. You young pups might be a little more prone to be confused/excited and lets just call it like it is, HORNY

My suggestion would be for each of you to run it by your friends and family. People who know you best will be a lot better judge of if you are ready or not.
 
nw2salt08

nw2salt08

Active Member
If you live in Massachusetts and your budget is tight then I would eliminate the flying to save that much money for your ceremony. California is overly expensive. If she's looking for fresh flowers, they're more expensive than silks. I can attest to that from being a florist and I've done numerous weddings. Make sure that the most important people are there. Watch how many people you have in your wedding party. Most places charge per person for reception. Or you could throw a reception at someone's home to save on reception hall costs. Decorations can be done tastefully and for a few dollars. Most places do provide decorations to choose from so I would take advantage of that. Money shouldn't be the factor that stops a marriage. My husband and I got married for a grand total of $950.00. lol I did my own silk flowers, we got rings, I found a chapel here in town, my dress was given to me and we had our reception at my mother's in her backyard.
Do what makes you happy and you can always find ways to make it work financially and still have a lovely ceremony. If you have any questions, I would be glad to help you two out. And congradulations!
 
fishtaco

fishtaco

Active Member
I have always kind of seen a big wedding production as a sign of something missing in the relationship.
Fishtaco
 
tang master

tang master

Member
Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3125687
Go with what's in your heart. Whatever makes the two of you happy.
And please don't listen to the idiots here slamming you because you're marrying this girl 'prematurely'. As you have stated, the wedding is a year away. That's more than enough time to get to know someone. Shoot, I got divorced from my first wife in October, 1990. Met my current wife in January, 1991. She got pregnant with our first daughter July, 1991. We got married February 14, 1992. Our first daughter was born March 11, 1992. We've been happily married ever since. And this was before there was anything called Internet Dating or Facebook.


Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3125706
Actually, my first wife and I split up after 6 years because we decided we wanted different things in life. I was content with my career, and she decided she wanted to pursue her lifetime aspiration, becoming a lawyer (talk about a mistake.
). I wasn't willing to drop everything I worked for for almost 15 years to go to some college town for her to go to law school for three years. We're actually still good friends. She just wrote up some living will documents for my mother at no charge.
I dated my first wife for 2 years before we got married. Look how that turned out. My second wife and I were dating for less than six months before we had our little 'accident'. We've been happily married now for over 17 years. So you tell me why 'waiting' makes a difference.
wow bionicarm, the reason i am on board with waiting is so people dont have to get married more than one time like you.(probaly cause they were thinkin with the wrong head). Thanks for sharing your testimony tho; ladies and gentlemen, this is a prime example of why "not waiting and thinking correctly before marriage" is a bad idea.
 
bionicarm

bionicarm

Active Member
Originally Posted by Tang Master
http:///forum/post/3125897
wow bionicarm, the reason i am on board with waiting is so people dont have to get married more than one time like you.(probaly cause they were thinkin with the wrong head). Thanks for sharing your testimony tho; ladies and gentlemen, this is a prime example of why "not waiting and thinking correctly before marriage" is a bad idea.
You are clueless Tang. The days of June and Ward Cleaver left decades ago. Just look at the statistics. You can have the most solid relationship on the planet, and it can still collapse for some unknown reason (just take for example some of people right here on this forum). My first marriage was fairly solid up to the point that my ex decided she wanted a change in her life. Ever hear of mid-life crisis? There are no guarantees in any marriage. Especially in today's society. Are you even married? If so, for how long? Do you REALLY know your spouse as well as you think you do?
 
bulldog123

bulldog123

Member
Originally Posted by Tang Master
http:///forum/post/3125897
wow bionicarm, the reason i am on board with waiting is so people dont have to get married more than one time like you.(probaly cause they were thinkin with the wrong head). Thanks for sharing your testimony tho; ladies and gentlemen, this is a prime example of why "not waiting and thinking correctly before marriage" is a bad idea.
That is some funny sh*t. How old are you? Maybe you should go get your jar of jiff and leave these conversations to the adults. I must say that is just hilarious. I almost fell off my chair. Keep em coming.
 
tang master

tang master

Member
the key before you get married is to make sure you and her values line up or yeah you will come across things called "mid-life crisis" later on. you wouldnt merry someone who was wanting to be a doctor while you yourself was a construction worker because in time one or the other will have enough of there values not being taken seriously and they will get a divorce or be left(its common sense). im not trying to make you feel bad but it is something that happens alot in the society we live in today because people, are clueless.
 
bulldog123

bulldog123

Member
How old are you? You are killing me with your wisdom. I cant stop laughing at the stuff you are posting. I dont know why but it is sooo funny!
 
flower

flower

Well-Known Member
Originally Posted by bionicarm
http:///forum/post/3125718
How do you know how long his life will be? He could walk out his front door tomorrow and get hit by a Mac truck. Live your life for today. Tomorrow may never come...
Friend, I didn't say dump her...I said take your time. He can live life to the fullest with his beloved and enjoy every moment. The ONLY difference...a lousy piece of paper. A piece of paper that costs thousands to undo later...so enjoy life to the fullest and WAIT on that piece of paper.
What is so hard about that?
 
bulldog123

bulldog123

Member
Originally Posted by Tang Master
http:///forum/post/3125917
bulldog, obviously your not an adult or you would know that divorce is not something to be taken lightly.
Maybe someone spiked my Dew. Your killing me man. Stop, I cant take anymore. Uncle, uncle, uncle
 
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