Crazy Girlfriend need help

[rzande1]

Hey. So I know I normally talk here about my screwed up fishtank but now i have another issue and I really need advise because I dont know what to do.
My gf has been with me for 5 years now. IN the beginning we used to fight alot and break up alot but then something just changed and we stayed together for a long time. We would fight once in a while but other than that it was normal. I started to ask her about what she thought of me moving up in my career and that is where some tension started. I asked her what if I had to move to london for my job. It prob wont happen but there is always a chance. Or what if I have to go to client parties. Will she come with me to those parties or make me go alone. She doesnt wanna go to london and she wont go to parties. Now I am taking these tests for a charter and like this saturday I had one of my big tests so Friday night I didnt call her. (mind you I call her literally every day and we text all day). Saturday night when I got home from my test that lasted all day I took my buddy out for his birthday and we got home late so I couuldnt talk to her either. Today she blew up on me saying I ignore her alot and that she needs someone that is right by her every day and that somehow my two days missing talking to her was all week. She has lost it and now is saying she wants to break up. I dont know what to do. I love her and wanna stay with her but now she is pulling this crap. I guess I am no longer of any use to her.

 

[rzande1]

Oh yea that she has problems and needs someone that is by her and not a little far away. (I am only an hour away from her)

 

[silverdak]

I always hated being away from my girl.... I went to one school... she went to another. seems like its something stupid... she is probably only saying she needs you there more to get more attention because she feels like she missed out for those 2 days lol. I'm not sureif you would want to be with someone who is coming off as that needy... especially if your thinking about a better job/promotion... how old did you say you were??

 

[rzande1]

24. I am in a position at my company that will move me up alot. I am working on this certification so it will give me even more legitimacy in my area not to mention better pay too. We literally live an hour away. I see her probably once a month and sometimes two. it is tough because she works weekends. IDK this is killing me.

 

[silverdak]

right well your still young... so I would say go for the job and if that means leaving her or having her leave you so be it... you will be bettering yourself and making more money. I'm not trying to preach to you im only 18 lol but still.... there will be plenty more girls out there!!! you just need to put yourself before her thats all and that means a new job and better life for you.
I know I am probably just gonna piss someone off with my opinions lol

 

[el guapo]

I would worry more about your carreer at this point . The fact that you see each other 1-2 times a month and live an hour away just says something to me . If she truely care about you and her and your future together she would support your furthering your carrer choices .

 

[rzande1]

I would see her more but she always works on the weekends so I cant come see her. I cant come see her on weekdays because I work alot.

 

[bluering09]

I heard that you will loose money and many more things chasing women, but you will never loose women chasing money, and a good life( stability).
So I encorage you to focuss in your career!

 

[spiderwoman]

I'd focus on career. You are still so young and so much in front of you and who knows, maybe move to London would be the best thing for you. Establish yourself with the company, take the career advancements they offer and if your girlfriend wants to be part of ALL that, then great. If not, then she is clearly not the right one for you. You guys have been together for 5 years and are still dating here and there.
If she is not willing to support your career advancements now, guess how willing she is if your relationship goes to the next level.

 

[lovethesea]

next............ !!!!
It should NOT be this difficult........really. Relationships require time and attention, yes, but this has the markings of many problems.

 

[groupergenius]

IMHO...advance your career.. Money can't buy you love, but you can't buy nothing without it.
Relationships will allways pop up their heads. A good opportunity to advance yourself in a career you seem to like is priceless. And if she can't see the advantages to sticking with someone who is bettering their lives...then maybe she should be dating the bag boy at the local Grocery.
Jus' sayin'....

 

[armywife1314]

definetly career! if you have a girl that wont stand by you and doesnt want the best then she doesnt really care. if she cant support you now when your just dating it will be a disaster if you ever get married, unless she grows up, because right now it seems like shes just playing games. be a man and tell her that if she cant support you then step aside but make a choice.

 

[rs1831]

Just wondering, what do you do for work?

 

[reepks]

I dont want to draw too many conclusions here............but I would say there is more going on than just her not getting to talk to you for a couple days. It sounds like an excuse to me
Focus on your career...it will benefit you much more in the long run.

 

[reefkprz]

I have to agree, normally I dont spout in on personall problems, as I dont really think i am qualified for it, but a relationship is give and take if your in a point where your career has certain demads, if your career is important to you then your girlfriend would understand the importance of it, mine does when I have to go out of town for work, she doesnt enjoy me leaving, and I dont like leaving her, but we do what we have to to make LIFE work. there is a lot to it but I would say cut out the dead weight, if she cannot compromise, and do or tolerate the things involved in your life/career, then she doesnt really want to be a part of it, it sounds to me like she wants something your not capable of being at this point.
continue on with your career, dont ever shaft yourself out of a good job for anybody. move on.

 

[renogaw]

sorry, but what type of girlfriend won't go out to dinner parties with the boyfriend?
I could see having an issue moving to London, especially if she doesn't have a ring on her finger.

 

[kerriann]

here's the thing: if she REALLY loved you, she'd want you to do what makes you happiest and be there supporting you all the way. my boyfriend travels probably 20-25 days out of the month. i obviously don't love it but he loves what he does so who am i to tell him no? i rag on him about it from time to time but i'd NEVER honestly expect him to give up something he loved because i wasn't getting enough attention.
also, you've been together since you were, what, 19?? statistically speaking, your relationship doesn't have much chance for survival. personally, i think people do their biggest personality changes from 18-25 years of age. i look back at who i was 3-4 years ago and it's just unreal how much i've changed in such a short period of time. you're probably just naturally growing apart from each other and if she's that dependent on you, something's not right.
honestly, think ahead 10 years down the road reflecting back on this part of your life. will you regret not taking the opportunity you had presented to stay with a girl who you may or may not be with later??

 

[spanko]

You cannot change people. No matter what you think you cannot change this behavior and if it is coming out now you are best to move on. IMO marrying into a problem will only fuel it for the future.

 

[lexluethar]

IMO if she doesn't support you in your decisions, then she doesn't really love you. I know that sounds harsh, but like a few other posters have already said this is something you really want to do, and she obviously doesn't support it, so I see it as her putting her feelings and emotions in front of what you want to do. It would be one thing if she didn't want you to smoke crack, or drink until 5 AM, but these choices you are making are to better yourself and your career (and if she saw herself with you in 10 years she would understand it is bettering her life too).
I'm not saying to push to breakup, but if she's wanting to break up I personally wouldn't stop her. Let it be her choice but let her know that at 24 you can't stop your career. I mean jeez we are talking about a few client parties and moving to London. She needs to grow the F* up and realize that a real job requires real responsibility and obligations, sometimes including travel, trips, late nights, and OT.
And as kerri said, statistically speaking a relationship starting in your teens to last a lifetime is slim. Too much changes, and from what i'm gathering you have grown and changed into an adult (good for you ) and she seems to be still stuck in the 'we are in high school' type mentality. Is she much younger?
Just my two cents. I've been with my fiance (just proposed) for almost four years, and although she may not like some of the career/business obligations i have, she still supports me 100%.

 

[stdreb27]

Well, I just got married so I know EVERYTHING there is to know about relationships

ok maybe not,
Seriously, (sounds like you're in the oil business) what girl wouldn't want to move to europe for a while or get dressed up in a fancy dress and go to a fancy dinner party? I had to pitch a similar thing to my former fiancee now wife. It was pretty simple, baby you get to wear a pretty dress, don't have to work, live in Madrid, go to art museums and paint on the street or the balcony of a flat. Or stay here work 60 hours a week. You pick.
After she got over the not being in the USA she was pretty happy with the idea. And is now yelling at me when are we going to move to spain? This needs to hurry up.